Yesterday WNYC public radio host Brian Lehrer Show interviewed CNN's international correspondent Christiane Amanpour. They talked about the phenomenon of people from Europe and North America traveling to the Middle East to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) as jihadis. Amanpour described "Jihadi John," the British man who beheaded several Western journalists, recently identified as Mohammed Emwazi, a Kuwaiti-born Londoner, as a "psychopath." She also called the ISIS movement a "sociopathic death cult." Listen to the interview. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
He made it his mission to prove I’m worthless
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Octavia." I believe now that I was married to a sociopath. I was married 16 years and lived with him for 4 years. I became pregnant, had the baby and didn't marry until the baby was 9 months old. I had a sick feeling but went ahead with the marriage. The "put-downs" were subtle in the beginning. I was made to feel like I was a "lesser" person ”¦ the mocking, contempt, control were always there. When I challenged him, he immediately denied his actions ”¦ he was only kidding. I never had any decision making authority ”¦ it was always "pretend" equality/partnership. It took me years to realize his actions …
How to prepare for your child custody court battle against a sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following advice from a reader. By R. Brooks If you are like myself and have dealt (or are dealing) with a sociopath in court, you are fully aware of how difficult and exhausting it can be. These dealings are increasingly horrible when you are dealing with said person in a child custody hearing. I am here to tell you ”¦ YOU CAN BEAT THEM. However, to win takes commitment, consistency and most of all, patience. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you are dealing with this kind of individual, so if that is what you are expecting, it will never happen. I like the old saying, “Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.” With …
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I tried for years to protect our children from their father, and the legal system did little to help
Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Rhoda." My ex is an attorney and used his position to financially ruin me by targeting our children. I spent over $250,000 on legal fees, while he was legally allowed to represent himself, and even question me on the witness stand as both my ex and his own attorney. The legal system allowed him to continue to drag me to court for 7 years. I was awarded sole custody twice and he waited for the judge to retire, filed again, and this time was awarded joint custody and I had not done anything different or wrong. Our children have suffered the most. Our now 21-year-old daughter wants nothing to do with …
EFT tapping can cure the emotional pain of your involvement with the sociopath
Today begins the 7th Annual Tapping World Summit. It's a free online event, and if you are still suffering, in any way, from your encounter with the sociopath, I strongly recommend that you check it out. Tapping, also called Emotional Freedom Technique, is a form of energy psychology. I believe this is the new frontier of psychology, although it is rooted in 5,000 years of Chinese acupressure practice. The therapy looks funny using your fingers, you tap precise points on your head, hands and torso while verbally making a statement about a stressful situation or a disturbing memory. After going through the tapping sequence a few times, the emotional charge associated with the memory …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Successful No Contact against the sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Claudette." My problem is the same as many other whose lives have been sucked into that of a sociopath. I met mine about this time last year. My long-term relationship has broken down and I was feeling unhappy, lonely and vulnerable. He seemed like everything I could ever have wanted charming, funny, affectionate then loving and very sexy. He would send me loads of texts telling me how much he wanted me and then how much he loved me and that we were perfect together and amazing in bed and out. I left my home and got a flat so that I could be with him crazy I know but it seemed so right. My former …
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Why do some people take pleasure in cruelty?
Delroy Paulhus, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Canada studies the dark side of human beings to define the different flavors of everyday evil. Paulhus has created a series of tests to identify people who have a "dark personality." He works to answer the question: Why do some people take pleasure in cruelty? Not just psychopaths and murderers — but school bullies, internet trolls and even apparently upstanding members of society such as politicians and policemen. Paulhus tends to focus on everyday evil rather than criminal or psychiatric cases. Others have called narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy the "Dark Triad," which is a triple whammy of na …
I thought I was the 3rd wife, but I was more like No. 8
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gale." I was a widow for 5 years. After being married for 43 years, my husband died of cancer. I did not like being alone and therefore I was vulnerable, to say the least. I enjoyed being a wife & mother, and sharing, loving & caring for my family. I met my psycho on the internet, thru a dating web site. Had I trusted my intuition, I would have run. There were many red flags. I did not ignore, but was charmingly convinced I was not being fair, but judgmental. I considered myself to be the 3rd wife, but after several years of marriage, one of his daughters convinced me I was more like number …
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Sociopaths and Parental Alienation
He trained our children with Skittles. Sometimes he used little wads of paper. Any time we were in public places together, like watching a game or something, my ex would take a napkin or a popcorn bag and tear it up and throw little pieces of it at them if they were sitting with me. Or he'd buy a bag of Skittles and throw them, one at a time, giggling and smiling as he bounced them off the backs of their heads until they got up from their place beside me and moved over to sit with him. Then he would let them relax. It sounds miniscule. But that's where parental alienation lives—in every miniscule detail. It's not just in court—it's also in the granular. In the point where a child fin …
For Valentine’s Day: The difference between sociopathic “love” and real love
Yes, there is love after the sociopath. I divorced my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, in 2000. A little more than a year later, I met Terry Kelly. We dated for a few years, got to know each other, and then married. Terry and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary. I can honestly say that I am as happy and in love as I was on our wedding day. What's different about love with a normal, caring person, and "love" with a sociopath? Just about everything. Real love is peaceful I don't have the stress, drama and doubt that I felt while married to the sociopath. Instead, with Terry, I feel calm and content. Real love is supportive My sociopathic ex-husband was demanding and …
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