My husband on the outside — the man everyone else sees: - The nicest person you could ever meet - Positive, Non-Confrontational, High Energy, Bubbly Personality - Will bend over backwards to do anything to help anyone - He is everyone's best friend - He will cook for you or will clean dishes if you cook for him ”¦ and always offers a helping hand - Very attentive - Very loving - Will serve you coffee in bed every morning and maybe breakfast too! - The kindest and biggest gentleman you think you have ever met - Will always tell you how beautiful you are everyday - He will take very good care of you financially - He is always concerned for everyone's well being - He is an e …
Sociopaths–Why We Believe Their Lies
By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 15: He Always Tells the Truth—Even When He Lies Much as agents in the Men in Black movies used “neutralizers” to erase any recall of alien encounters, Paul dazzled and distracted me with brilliant linguistic gymnastics to obscure any glimpses of his true, dark, soulless self. He was masterful at talking his way out of anything and creating an alternate reality to get …
My new dog offers a lesson in letting go
Meet my new dog, Bo. My husband, Terry, and I brought him home from a shelter on Thursday. I've been meaning to get a dog ever since my previous dog, Beau, died of old age. That was more than 13 years ago. What took so long? I never felt like I had the time or the energy for another dog then suddenly, more than a decade slipped by. My first dog, Beau Beau was with me when I met my sociopathic ex-husband. During all the confusion and upheaval of my fake marriage to James Montgomery, my dog was the loyal companion that my husband should have been. After two and a half years with Montgomery, I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam. I left him, and Beau was my comfort. As …
I wish I would have known sooner that people like this existed
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Zenagirl10" sent the following story. I have had 5 years experience with a sociopath. It started out my ex was dating a friend of mine and they were engaged to be married. They broke up and she moved away. Then he set his sights on me. Initially I was not interested in him at all. But I thought he wants to buy all these things for me and at the time I could only afford the necessities. So I continued with the relationship. Everything moved so quickly, he was constantly texting, phoning and wanting to be by my side 24-7. I was like wow, he must really be in love with me. There were several red flags that I did not notice and I wish I …
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‘Coercive control:’ Domestic violence without the physical abuse
In an article in the New York Times, writer Abby Ellin explains the concept of "coercive control" a pattern of behavior in which one partner in a romantic relationship dominates his or her partner. She writes: Coercive control describes an ongoing and multipronged strategy, with tactics that include manipulation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse, stalking, gaslighting and sometimes physical or sexual abuse. England and Wales have just passed a law making coercive or controlling behavior a form of domestic violence. The United States should do the same. With coercive control, the abuse is psychological, on NYTimes.com. …
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Not Knowing About Sociopaths = Big Red Flags Missed
By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 14: Danger! Bridge Out Ahead “Our honeymoon isn't over until I say it's over” was not just a red flag, it was an oversized, florescent red flag accompanied by blaring sirens and fireworks. Why did I miss what is so obvious in hindsight? I did not understand that people like Paul really exist in the world, not just in movies or as someone else's husband on shows like …
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After Unwittingly Falling In Love With A Sociopath: Feeling “Off,” Subtle Anxiety, And A Sense of Unease
By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 13: Knowing, Without Knowing We Know A chronic, subtle sense of unease, anxiety, and feeling that something is “off” are classic symptoms of being in a relationship with a sociopath. These feelings became my constant companions. The Iowa Gambling Task is a classic study designed by neuroscientists at the University of Iowa and discussed at length in a book by Antonio Dama …
My ex has custody of our daughter, even though he pleaded guilty to domestic violence
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Cassidy." I was married for 2 years. The problems emerged after my daughter was born. Jumping to the end of the story, we separated and divorced. We had final court orders for parenting and property in 2010. Since then I have been back to court at least 20 times, we have 3 final orders. My ex now has custody of my daughter, even though he was accused of domestic violence and pleaded guilty to the charges. In Australia the presumption for shared care is set aside if you can prove this. I was given custody of my little girl the first and second court cases. He was given sole parenting on the third. Needless to …
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On Independence Day: 6 Strategies to break free of the sociopath
Happy 4th of July! In honor of Independence Day, here are six strategies for breaking free of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or some other exploiter. Choose the right strategy for your situation, and declare your independence! The No Nonsense Rejection Statement If you were dealing with normal people, you might want spare their feelings or let them down easy. But if you're seeing the Red Flags of Love Fraud and you suspect you're dealing with a sociopath, don't worry about hurting their feelings because they don't have any. If it's early in the involvement, and neither of you have much invested, you can use the rejection statement approach to get away. Here's what you …
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When Katherine Morris, 22, died suddenly, police ruled it suicide, but her mother continues to investigate
Four years ago, Katherine Morris, a young woman who was two weeks away from graduating from the University of Maryland, died suddenly. The police said the death was suicide. Her mother, Rev. Marguerite Morris isn't so sure and she is still working to uncover the truth. Katherine Morris was married to a soldier, Isaac Goodwin. But her mother contends that the marriage was a sham, that Goodwin married just to defraud the government of Basic Allowance for Housing pay, and he was never held accountable. In fact, Goodwin received a $100,000 insurance payout for Katherine's death. Lovefraud wrote about this tragic story previously. You can see it here: Army Specialist Isaac Goodwin …