By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 12: What Just Happened? Paul and I arrived back in Minneapolis late on a Saturday and spent a leisurely Sunday together. Both of us needed to return to work on Monday morning. I had not worked the entire vacation or even checked in with the office. My co-workers and team leader knew I was on my honeymoon and that I would not be in touch. Still, before I left, I had been w …
Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life
Perhaps you now know that you're involved with a sociopath or other disordered individual. You've been Googling "sociopath" "psychopath" and "narcissist" like crazy, and found that a lot of what you read matches the behavior that you see. So now what? What do you do? That's what I will explain in Part 3 of the Lovefraud Recovery Series. The webinar takes place Thursday, June 30, at 8 pm Eastern time. Escaping the Sociopath and Rebuilding Your Life Here is some of what I will explain: What NOT to do when you learn of your partner's betrayal Do you fight or cut your losses and run? Tips and strategies for lawsuits, divorce and child custody battles What can help when your …
The high cost of rape – in pain and dollars
Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader, "Jennifer in NYC." The New York Times OP-ED article, “What One Rape Cost Our Family” (Friday, June 24, 2016), by the California-based, freelance journalist, Laura Hilgers, chronicles the years of devastation her family faced after her daughter was raped by a fellow student while attending a college in Washington D.C. . A freshman at the time, her daughter, Willa, waited one year before she reported the crime. However, during this time she developed “...post-traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, depression, and an an addiction to alcohol. And while she chose not to file criminal charges—out of fear of being traum …
Sociopaths: Masters Of Using Cognitive Dissonance
By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 11: The Honeymooners We spent our honeymoon hiking, horseback riding, wine tasting, and sleeping in. I had wanted to go on a particular hike, but we never did. Finally, I told Paul that I was concerned that we were leaving without going on the one hike to which I had so looked forward. Paul looked at me, incredulous. With his loving eyes engaging mine and his voice g …
Save on ‘The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free From Crazy-Making Relationships’
By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW In the wake of the Gay Pride Month massacre of 49 people gathered at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, the world has taken notice of the violence and threats of violence lesbian gay, bisexual, and transgender people face on a regular basis. What's less visible is that the patterns of oppression we face in the broader society sometimes trickle down into our most intimate relationships. Lesbian and gay people need to be able to turn to partners for safety, support, care, and kindness. This is especially important as we face discrimination and invalidation in the broader culture. Unfortunately, for many people in same-sex relationships, home is not a haven but, i …
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Sociopaths … Manipulation And Gaslighting And Control, Oh My!
By O.N. Ward Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 10: The Secret Wedding By the time Paul and I got engaged, we had been living together and working in Minneapolis for six months. Still, virtually everything I knew about Paul was from our time at Yale. He was that busy at his new job. Chronically absent or exhausted from his grueling schedule, he rarely talked to me about his clients or assignments. He had no time to hear a …
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Orlando shooter Omar Mateen – he’s a sociopath, not a jihadist
Like all of America and civilized people around the world, I am heartbroken and sickened by the 49 people slaughtered and 53 injured in an Orlando nightclub early Sunday morning. The shooter was Omar Mateen, an American born in New York of Afghan parents. In a 911 call to police as the dead lay around him, Mateen swore allegiance to ISIS. But as authorities try to figure out how Mateen became radicalized, I'm not so sure that he shot up a gay nightclub for Allah. To me, it looks like Mateen was simply an evil sociopath, and pursuing Islamic jihad was a convenient excuse to get a gun. Ex-wife Sitora Yusufiy The first clue comes from how Mateen's ex-wife, Sitora Yusufiy, described him. …
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How to recover from a sociopathic partner
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/ivfmgtYTLWo" title="How%20to%20recover%20from%20a%20sociopathic%20partner"] If you've discovered that your partner is an exploiter, and you don't know what to think and what to do well, I totally understand. I've been there. That's why I developed the Lovefraud Recovery Series. These three webinars, each one hour long, will help you comprehend what you are dealing with and figure out how to move forward: June 16 - Sociopathic Seduction: How you got hooked and why you stayed (If you missed it, watch the recording) More info June 23 - What Did They Want? Psychopaths, antisocials and other exploiters in romantic relationships More info June 30 - E …
Recovery from a sociopath through poetry
Editors note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "arpinsandie" says that writing poetry helped her recover from an involvement with a sociopath. She shares some of what she wrote, in the hope that it will help others as well. Poem for the Heart Emotion Conscience Less Do you know what hate is No Do you know what it is to be hated No Do you know where hate fits No Where warm humans love Hate is in you Where softness and kindness live You cultivate destruction Why do people cry They are hurt broken bt you Your charm superficial Boredom reigns where love should be A wonderful man to all outside see The real you ? - Only I see Cos you cant You don't hurt Cos you cant You don't love Cos you …
Therapists: Here’s how to help clients leave a toxic relationship
Clients may know that they are unhappy, anxious and depressed because of their relationships, but they can't seem to leave. In fact, they become confused just by thinking about leaving. How can you best serve them? The Five Step Exit model will help. This program, developed by Dr. Amber Ault, is specifically designed to help you help clients in a structured fashion. You guide them to evaluate their circumstances, create an exit strategy, put together a support team, move forward with the plan, and then reclaim their lives. Dr. Ault will teach you exactly how to do it in an online webinar on Wednesday, June 15, 2016, from 2 -4 p.m. Eastern time. You will be able to ask questions of …
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