Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 47B: Divorcing A Sociopath—Round II In that moment, I understood why, throughout our marriage, Paul had criticized me so often for being controlling. It had always seemed odd, and I had stupidly responded by bending over backwards to make sure he would not view me that way. I caved in to what he wanted to prove that I did not need to be in control. Fool! Most people consider me flexible. …
From Moon to Earth — recognizing that my experience was actually abuse
Editor's note: Please welcome a new contributor to Lovefraud.com — Eleanor Cowan, author of "A History of a Pedophile's Wife." Born in 1948, the same year women first voted in Quebec, she began her life odyssey with a lovely home, good food, some affection, and soon, the company of nine siblings. These are the details she relied upon, not the nights of sexual abuse, the constant criticism of her mother, nor the religious oppression in her strict family. With the alcoholism of her mother and the chronic absence of her Dad, life slid downhill fast. She became a devout Catholic, an anxious people pleaser — and a complete stranger to herself. Three drug-rapes into her 20's, she decided to …
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Sex offender gets out of jail and rapes a 7-year-old girl, police say
Corbin James Breitenbach, 23, of Wichita, Kansas, had already done four years in prison for choking and raping a 22-year-old woman. He was released on April 28 — and six weeks later, he was arrested for breaking into a second-floor apartment bedroom, taking a 7-year-old girl out on to the balcony, and raping her. A family member said that when Breitenbach was 17, "something changed him. He snapped." Psychopathy often kicks in at adolescence, and it sounds like that's what happened. Convicted sex offender, 23, sneaks into neighbor's home and 'rapes and chokes girl, SEVEN, just six weeks after being released from prison on parole for another assault', on DailyMail.co.uk. Recently paroled …
Sex offender gets out of jail and rapes a 7-year-old girl, police sayRead More
Does he sound like a full-blown narcissist and/or sociopath? Or maybe some form of borderline personality disorder?
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "bonnie2017." Donna Andersen responds to her questions at the end of the letter. Names have been changed. Following my most recent life-shattering break-up 4 weeks ago, I happened upon your website, lovefraud.com, and found it extremely helpful and insightful! I first wanted to thank you for all the invaluable information you provide. I also wanted to tell you my sad story about my almost-baby-daddy and get your feedback. Maybe it can help others too. From January through May, I had been unknowingly dating what I thought was a narcissist (but recently realized he may actually be a sociopath?). From the …
Catfishing victim, 19, shoots at man who scammed him
Catfishing can be dangerous. Chauncy Wilkerson, 19, of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, met a woman on the dating app TAGGED — except that it was really a man posing as a woman. Wilkerson told the man not to come to his home. The guy showed up anyway, pulled into the driveway, drove towards Wilkerson and his mother, striking both of them. Wilkerson then fired four shots at the vehicle as it fled. Wilkerson was arrested. No word on any consequences for the catfisher. BRPD: 19-year-old fires shots at man posing as woman on social media app, on WBRZ.com. …
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New York Justice Lori Sattler loses $1 million in email scam
Here's proof that absolutely anyone can be scammed. Lori Sattler, a judge with the New York Supreme Court, lost more than $1 million in an email scam. Sattler received an email that looked like it came from her real estate attorney. It instructed her to wire $1,057,500 to an account in Arizona. But her attorney never sent the email. Her money was transferred to the Commerce Bank of China. Police are investigating. New York Supreme Court judge scammed out of $1 million by just ONE EMAIL: Jurist wires cash to fraudsters pretending to be her lawyer while trying to sell her swanky apartment, on DailyMail.co.uk. …
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If we want something different, we need to do something different
By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW I’m fond of this axiom: “If you want something different from what you’ve had, you need to do something different from what you’ve done.” Here’s an important corollary: Doing something different will, at first, feel strange. When we envision something different for ourselves and begin to practice creating it, it’s important to prepare to receive it. Otherwise, new possibilities will be assimilated by the powerful machinery of old patterns and we’ll continue to feel stuck. It’s not enough to want something different, or even to envision it. In order to create something different, we must release the barriers — often unconscious — that stand in its way. We need to …
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Freeing oneself from a sociopath is challenging and can be dangerous
Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 47: Divorcing a Sociopath--Round II As I turned the corner and the house slipped from view, I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. Five minutes later, text messages and calls flooded my phone. I ignored them and kept driving. A few minutes later, I pulled into my bank’s parking lot and tried to breathe normally. I checked my phone. All the texts and calls were from Paul. I …
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Sociopaths and double lives
A reporter inquired about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers? Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women. Not everyone who lives a double life is a sociopath. Some people, like spies and undercover cops, are doing their …
Raw power and control — the core of what sociopaths want
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Maisie." Here is my story. I would be grateful for any thoughts as I'm still trying to make sense of something I went through. I was in the very best relationship for 25 years and then he died. Afterwards I was utterly heartbroken and alone as a result I think of being still quite young in my circle of friends and them not being able to cope with the tragedy. In the village where I lived a newcomer stopped me whilst I was walking to introduce himself. He would stop from time to time to talk to me. I was in a desperately lonely state and eventually agreed to visit him. As his neighbours …
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