Archive for February, 2018

Sociopath exerts control by holding important people and events hostage

By Eleanor Cowan

One winter’s day, busy preparing to drive to a free art lesson for my children and their young friends, my disagreement with my husband took an unwanted turn.

I’d contested Stan’s view of God’s endless compassionate mercy and boundless clemency.

“If that’s so true,” I asked, “What’s hell for?”

My husband was a covert pedophile, although I didn’t know it at the time. Molesting our young daughter and ridiculing our son at every opportunity, while I was at safely at work, Stan never took responsibility for an addiction he knew was morally wrong. Even though he’d molested his own siblings as a teenager, he still felt entitled to become a seminarian as a young man. … Read more

Posted in: Eleanor Cowan

To recover from the sociopath, and protect yourself from another one, work on relieving your emotional tension

Over the weekend Terry, my husband, and I watched The Zookeeper’s Wife, a movie is set in Warsaw, Poland, during World War II. It tells the true story of how after animals at the Warsaw Zoo were bombed and shot, the couple that ran the zoo used the property to hide Jews from the Nazis until they could be transported to safety. It’s a good movie, but as you can imagine, it is tense and emotional.

My reaction to the film, plus the normal stress of daily life, made it difficult for me to … Read more

Red flags that a gold digger may have targeted your elderly parent or friend

boomers seniors onlineMany sociopaths (although not all of them) target romantic partners to swindle them out of money. Lovefraud’s research shows that most sociopaths continue their manipulative behavior as long as they live. That means senior sociopaths may target other seniors. They may proclaim their love, in order to access the victim’s money, home or pension.

Jean Mignolet, a private investigator in Florida, where lots of seniors live, recently posted an article about spotting the warning signs of a gold digger. Some are:

  1. Ambiguity — the con artist glosses over important information about temselves
  2. Significant age difference — especially they met online
  3. Moving too fast —rushing important life decisions
  4. Isolation — keeping the target from friends and family

Read more:… Read more

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free support group on March 4, 2018 at 5 pm EST.

  Experience the support of people who know!  Join our free support group Sunday, March 4, 2018 at 5 pm EST.  Go to and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining.  Do this every time even if you have joined us before!  We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call.  It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it!  Hope to meet you there!

 … Read more

Lovefraud reader tries online dating, spots warning signs, dumps the guy

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Marjory18.”

When I got involved with a bad person last year I wrote in to you with my story.

I have been committed to reading stories, articles etc on your Lovefraud site.

All I can say is thank goodness for your site and the info you provide.

I had another online date recently

Signs were there. 

  • My mama raised me right (was told to me before)
  • Super charming
  • Tons of compliments
  • Lots of sexual talk (on the first date?)
  • We seemed to have a lot in common (really? that much)
  • Heartfelt and deep conversations (on his part)
  • That he studied psychology (was told that before
Read more

Are you “too sensitive,” or is your partner a sociopath?

Husband Liar Sociopath

You’re too sensitive!

As I think back about my life and my unwitting marriage to a sociopath, a phrase haunts and repeats like an old-time broken record, “You’re too sensitive.”

For decades, I believed that hearing this phrase should trigger self-reflection and attempts at self-improvement. If I’m “too sensitive,” the underlying assumption is that I should work to become “less sensitive.” I believed this because this is what I’d been taught as a child, and it was reinforced through my adult life by two people I loved and respected at the time—my father and my now ex-husband. Yet, now I believe that hearing this phrase repeatedly by key people in one’s life should trigger another type of self-improvement—better … Read more

How one guy’s recent girlfriends meets all of the 10 Red Flags of Love Fraud

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we’ll call “Trevor18.”

I came across your work after I spent about two months in the craziest relationship I’ve ever experienced. The relationship and how it abruptly ended left me feeling confused and then I was compelled to seek answers. I just didn’t know what to do. Then I stumbled upon Cluster B personality disorders and eventually I found your list of 10 signs of dating a sociopath.

1: Charisma/Charm

I first met this girl at her daughter’s birthday party in May of 2017. After a brief introduction, she approached me frequently during the party and it felt extremely easy to talk to her. She seemed to … Read more

Lovefraud Readers in Australia: Do you want to tell your story on TV?

Lovefraud has been contacted by a producer for the Australian broadcaster SBS. She works for the show called Insight. They are planning a segment called, “Partners & Lies: What happens when you find out your partner isn’t who you thought they were?” They are specifically looking for people who were married or in a relationship for a long time with someone who turned out to have a secret life.

The show will tape next week in the Sydney area.

If you are interested in appearing on the show, please fill out the Lovefraud Media … Read more

Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?

Nikolas Cruz was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder in the Parkland, Florida school shooting.

Another school shooting. Last week, Nikolas Cruz, 19, shot up his former school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. He killed 17 people and wounded 14 more.

In the initial reporting about the incident, none of the students who knew Cruz were surprised. They feared him and mostly stayed away from him. The New York Times reported:

“A lot of people were saying that it would be him,” the student told WFOR-TV. “They would say he would be the one to shoot up the school. Everyone predicted it.”

Why would the entire school population predict that Cruz would grab a gun … Read more

Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 30: Celebrate

Let’s go party on days that end in Y, drink Russian, drive German, wear Italian and kiss French! Friends, if you are expecting some guidance on this subject, I might not be the right person.

The final practice of our 30-Day self-love and healing journey is about rewarding yourself. It’s about rewarding the process, and not the outcome. Following up from the previous session on failing, this brief visualization exercise once again redefines failure, an act that is not about falling, but about getting up. Rewarding yourself is something you can do consistently to help … Read more

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