How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Lovefraud Survey: How did you deal with a senior sociopath?

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I am currently working on a book about senior sociopaths — how disordered people behave when they are over the age of 50. I've collected a lot of data about the experiences of Lovefraud readers with these individuals — perhaps you completed my previous survey. One of the topics I'd like to address in the book is how to deal with this type of person. So I ask you: If you have, or had, a sociopath who was 50 years old or older in your life, how did you escape, cope or move on? What techniques or strategies did you use to manage destructive behavior or get the person out of your life? I'm looking for information in the context of any type of relationship: Romantic Partner Parent …

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Being taught “There’s good in everyone,” blinds us to the true nature of sociopaths

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The story of Little Red Riding Hood is a great metaphor for a relationship with a sociopath. In the end, victims of sociopaths often feel destroyed or damaged in some profound way. Some are brutalized financially, others physically, and almost all are hurt, compromised, or undone emotionally and psychologically. The experience is often described as identity eroding or soul destroying. Many victims develop chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. For some, recovery is elusive. For others, it is long and hard. Too many of us were taught, "There's good in everyone." To those of us who have been taught that there is good in everyone, these views about sociopaths seem unfathomable. …

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Healing old pain through a new disordered relationship

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By Eleanor Cowan My throat, arms, and legs felt swollen. Not for the first time, the thought occurred: “Death would be an instant relief.” I could hardly walk. Heavy with grief, a searing acidic ache in my stomach, I arrived at the weekend retreat held by a support group for those affected by the addictions of a loved one. Assigned to a tiny room the size of a storage cupboard in the small community college, I dropped the worn backpack I’d hastily stuffed with an old nightie, soap, and toothbrush. I chose a seminar among those offered on the agenda lying on the desk and stumbled to it. What was going on for me? I’d met someone. It had been five years since I’d left my sex-addict pedophi …

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Lovefraud webinars on recovering from a relationship with a sociopath and dating again – coming May 9 and 16!

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I talk to a lot of heartbroken people who have learned that their romantic partner, their "soul mate," was a sociopath. Men and women who, perhaps like you, discovered that everything their romantic partner said to them was a lie. People who are grieving not only profound betrayal, but also the loss of their hopes and dreams for the future. If this is you, I understand how devastated you feel. I've been there. But I also know that you can recover, you can move forward, and you can find love — a real love. Yes, you do need to make a commitment to yourself and your healing. So now I'm offering you a terrific first step. In a few weeks, I'll be presenting two live webinars: Why it's so h …

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Is he a narc? Is he really hurt, or just his ego is hurt?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Vania." English is not her first language. I think my ex is a narc but I'm still not sure. So I've been in a relationship with this guy for just 3 months. But it means a lot to me because I'm someone who's super not easy to open up with people, so once I did and once I fall, I will fall so hard. And I also think I am an empath. I'm a shy girl and this guy is the very opposite of me. He's so confident and unique, to be honest we are so different in many ways, but I think that's the thing that made us attracted to each other. I've never been in a serious relationship before because I'm hardly fall in …

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My tortured journey to discover the sociopathic truth behind the coincidences

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Editor's note: The following story was written by the Lovefraud reader from Australia who goes by the name "Acharbet." He says, "The names I use below are false in order to protect the innocent, guilty and bystanders. I have preserved people's genders in their names, but have obscured ethnicities, which I consider to be irrelevant to my story." As mine is a convoluted story, a tortured story, and clearly not a terribly customary story, I am not going to write it in a terribly customary way. I will use no firm and fixed chronology. Instead, I am going to reveal events in the order in which their truths revealed themselves to me. She stood there, tall, severely overweight and with a …

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When white-collar criminals commit fraud, unknowing wives are devastated

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My ex-husband, James Montgomery, was a white-collar criminal. He pretended to be a businessman, but in reality I, and the other women from whom he took more than $1 million, were his business. Federal prosecutors couldn't be bothered going after him. Other white-collar criminals, who are likely sociopaths like my husband, commit fraud with their employers. This gets the attention of law enforcement. When they are prosecuted, the casualties include their wives. In an article for the New York Times, Abby Ellin describes the devastation suffered by women who had no idea what their husbands were doing. They find that other people don't believe that they were unaware, but I do. I know what …

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BOOK REVIEW: ‘Psychopath Free’ — helping you understand your disordered romance and recover yourself

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Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People, by Jackson Mackenzie Review by Donna Andersen I admit I've been remiss. Jackson Mackenzie's book, Psychopath Free, came out in 2015, and I just finished reading it. I think I need about 48 hours in the day. Anyway, if you've been romantically involved with a psychopath or other disordered individual, Psychopath Free will ring true for you. Jackson does an excellent job of describing the cycle of an involvement with a psychopath, from the glorious beginning when you're feeling high on all the attention, to the confusion of the mind games in the middle, to the utter …

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Webinar preview: How to Navigate a Court Proceeding when the Opposing Party Is a Sociopath

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Personality disordered individuals lie, blame and exaggerate in life — and do the same in court. By anticipating what your opponent will do, you will not be blindsided; you'll be prepared. Here's how to overcome their tactics and prove your case. About this course In your dealings with a personality-disordered individual, you've learned that this person lies, blames and exaggerates. In court, despite swearing an oath to tell the truth, he or she will continue to lie, blame and exaggerate. How do you protect yourself? How do you make your case? In this webinar, you'll learn how the traits and tactics of disordered individuals typically play out in court. This will enable you to a …

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Are you changing in ways you don’t like? Maybe your partner’s a sociopath

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Sociopaths are fueled by our reactions to them—so sociopaths trigger our emotions. What are the signs this is happening?  Looking back on my unwitting marriage to a man I now believe is a sociopath, I realize that some of the warning signs that I was in a relationship with a sociopath were changes in my own behavior. My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles that marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves  includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath. It took me way too long to understand this, but since sociopaths are fueled by our emotional reactions to them, they trigger our emotions on pur …

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