How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Shrink Next Door: Like a cult leader, psychiatrist takes over his patient’s life

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Joe Nocera, a seasoned business journalist, bought a house in Southampton, New York, in 2010. He thought his next door neighbor was a psychiatrist from New York, Dr. Isaac "Ike" Herschkopf. Another man, Marty Markowitz, who lived in the house, seemed to be a caretaker. Except that Marty Markowitz actually owned the house, and for nearly 30 years, the psychiatrist had taken over his life. Herschkopf separated Markowitz from his family. Herschkopf became the co-signer on his patient's million-dollar Swiss bank account. The psychiatrist threw lavish, star-studded parties in Markowitz' home, with the owner acting like a waiter, pouring drinks and cleaning up after the guests. Nocera …

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Facebook made a video of me without my permission

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Today I received an alert on my iPad from Facebook. It said, Donna, we made a video of you and your friends. Huh? So I click the link, and there's another message: The Moments That Bring Us Closer Donna, today we're celebrating the everyday things that bring friends like yours together. We hope you enjoy your video! Beneath this is a video of some random people whom I definitely do not know building some fabric contraption that I couldn't identify. Superimposed on this are my Facebook photos, displaying one after the other. Then another random video of people I don't know. When I finally found the sound button, there was music I never heard of playing throughout the video. I was …

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How my sociopath ex-husband used lies and CPS to take my kids away

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, "Andrea19." Names are changed. I separated from my ex husband/sociopath in May of 2014. He lied in court under oath in on February 2015 and I had full custody of both kids for 8 months. We divorced in July 2015. October 2015 we had joint custody of both kids. Then my ex had both of my kids for three weeks in a row to take them on a cruise. I had a bad feeling with him having them for an extended period and I was right. He used the time to coach my daughter to say my boyfriend at the time had inappropriately touched her. On the day my daughter went to an unscheduled counselor …

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10 mistakes to avoid when leaving a sociopath

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Ending a relationship with a sociopath is not a normal break-up. Sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders) do not pursue romantic relationships in search of mutual love and companionship. They are looking for someone to use in some way — such as for money, sex, or to siphon off your emotional energy. Therefore, when you end a relationship with a sociopath, you can't get together, hug, cry and wish each other well, as you might with a normal person. When leaving a sociopath, you need to be strategic. Here are 10 mistakes to avoid: Thinking you can still be friends You may still be c …

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Stalking, burglary, identity theft — all by one criminal

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Most criminals specialize. They're drug runners, or they're car thieves, or they're credit card fraudsters, etc. One of the indicators of a psychopath, however, is "criminal versatility." That means psychopaths engage in all kinds of crime. A Lovefraud reader sent me a story, and "criminal versatility" seems to apply. Christopher Endicott, of Dakota County,  Minnesota, was sentenced last week for stalking, burglary and identity theft. According to KARE11 in Minnesota, Endicott said in court, "I don't pretend that what I did makes sense, even to me. There is no excuse for my actions." Here's what Endicott, a former principal, did, according to KARE11: Broke into his neighbors' …

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Adopted by a sociopath, leading to a lifetime of sociopaths

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Evelyn19." Names have been changed. There is so much. There have been 5 sociopaths of extreme significance in my life: My adopted father 2. Two husbands 3. One "boyfriend" 4. My son. These relationships span the entire course of my life. I never told anyone my story until now. I was afraid. Now I am alone, fighting to survive, and still afraid. But I thought maybe my story might open another's person awareness to the dangers, horror and complete destruction they can cause. I was born an "illegitimate" child of a 16-year old girl in a Catholic hospital in Texas. My biological grandmother and …

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Sociopath Survivor Journal Part 2: The failures of family court

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call Olivia19, shared her personal reflections, in a stream-of-consciousness style, on her experience with a disordered husband. We’ll publish sections of her journaling over several installments. Read Part 1: When Evil says 'I do.' Lies accepted in family court Left alone by all to prove what rightfully is yours, to pick up the broken pieces and make your life. He continues to make all our children's and my financial choices and lives in deceit and lies. He is innocent unless you prove his guilt; he need not prove truth and his lies are accepted or justified by misinformation and complication he creates. Chaos works, along with a lack of a …

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Daniel Spence, gay fake millionaire, scams friends, family, lovers and strangers

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The Observer recently ran a story about Daniel Spence, a sociopathic con artist (although the article didn't identify him as a sociopath). Read it here: The Grindr Grifter, on Observer.com. It's a good and well-written description of how a sociopathic con artist works: Spence, originally from Texas but most recently operating in hipster Brooklyn, made outrageous claims of wealth and power, flaunting the money he acquired by defrauding friends and lovers. Here are some instructive highlights: 1 . Yes, sociopaths operate in the gay community. Spence appeared to be gay, and targeted gay men. However, he may or may not have been authentically gay, because the sexual orientation of …

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Sociopath Survivor Journal, Part 1: When Evil says ‘I do’

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call Olivia19, shared her personal reflections, in a stream-of-consciousness style, on her experience with a disordered husband. We’ll publish sections of her journaling over several installments. When Evil says “I do” Whether it be Sean, John, Gord, Thomas, Linda or Sue, evil takes on many names. Many faces. They live their lives with lies, half truths, twisting of words and circumstances, manipulation, financial chaos, deceit or out and out lack of kindness and respect. They abuse. They often have lived a second life for years. Suddenly you find yourself living the "common" story. Your marriage is plagued with those hurdles and roadblocks t …

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Meditation on a devastating experience with a sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Barbara19. Are you ready for the rain? I recently went through a gut wrenching experience. I have not moved completely through the storm, however I am learning to dance in the rain. Before, I would hide in a cave to escape the feeling of wet clothes and dripping hair on my skin. If I couldn’t find a cave, I would pull out my umbrella, which was as large as a carnival top – yes, the red and white stripped one with the red center flag – I was so used to my umbrella I forgot it was there, just like the white elephant who sat in my living room for 14 years. Who wouldn’t want a cute elephant as a conti …

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