From time to time, Lovefraud receives email from people who identify themselves as sociopaths. Here's one that came in recently: I have read your website, and i am not impressed. You give the impression that all sociopaths are murderers and haters, incapable of loving, and should be thrown away as a tragedy to the human race. You do not mention the difference between a high-functioning sociopath and a low-functioning sociopath. I happen to be a high-functioning sociopath, and your website is all lies and misguided information, and whats worse, you gain money out of creating a stigma of us, and abusing the victims of certain relationships, which although do happen, aren't generally what high …
Hastening the demise of sociopaths
Millions of sociopaths roam the planet. They inhabit all segments of the population. They are male, female, rich, poor, old, young, all races, all religions, all education levels, all demographic groups. Most of them are not in prison, so they move freely among us, living their lives by exploiting others. Many take pride in their ability to manipulate others. Some who are criminals view crime as fun. They see nothing wrong with their behavior. As long as they keep succeeding, sociopaths will continue to behave the way they do. So how do we make them fail? Sociopaths only want to win, so failure is losing. Failure is not being able to exploit others, or at least not being able to get …
Disordered people exist, and we need to avoid them
Last week, after publishing ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment, Lovefraud received the following letter: I want to commend you and thank you for your website. It is a service to all survivors and the people that love them and, if you'll permit me, I do want to open a dialogue with you about some concerns I have about the site. I have read everything possible about sociopathy from a graduate student perspective and from my own experience with a violent sociopath and several other moderate paths, as well as other random people and family members that fit various DSM criteria, I am concerned that your site is very black and white and that people will be misled to their detriment. …
ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment
From time to time, Lovefraud hears from men who complain that we talk about male sociopaths but not female sociopaths. Actually, I was very careful to refer to both men and women in every post on the main website, Lovefraud.com. And here on the Lovefraud Blog, we do have a category devoted to female sociopaths. But the fact it, approximately 80 percent of Lovefraud readers are women who were exploited by sociopathic men. So yes, it does seem that Lovefraud tilts towards male predators. That's why a website called ThePsychoExWife.com is an important resource. I first learned about this website last week from the following story in the Philadelphia Inquirer: Divorce blog's rancor …
Do we really want to legalize sociopathic lying?
So far, in cases about the Stolen Valor Act, federal judges have ruled that lying about earning military medals is harmless and should be protected speech. But Lovefraud's research seems to indicate that people who pretend to be military heroes do it specifically to exploit others. Right now, the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver is considering the case of Rick Strandlof. Back in 2009, Strandlof was arrested for falsely claiming that he was a former Marine, had served in Iraq, and received the Purple Heart and Silver Star medals. Going by the name of Rick Duncan, Strandlof presented himself as a veterans' advocate through the Colorado Veterans Alliance, which he founded. In …
From ‘I want to die in your arms’ to ‘get lost’
Here's another story of an allegedly cheating married man who, when busted, first denies he is married, then claims harassment. Married flying doctor 'flew his lover to Paris on a private jet during eight-month fling' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
What is love fraud?
In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed. After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He's a victim of what's called ”˜love fraud.'” I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud' has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn't get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.” Then, a few days ago, I receiv …
Psychopaths and outrageous lies
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Psychopaths sometimes don't know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea's soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids. Just what will Kim Jong-Il make of all this? North Korea say medicine using musk deer glands caused five players to fail drug tests The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medic …
Introducing a new Lovefraud author, Mel Carnegie
“There are thousands if not millions of people out there who have been targeted by sociopaths and I intend to do all I can to help them!” That's what Mel (short for Melanie) Carnegie wrote when she first contacted me not long ago. She, like many of us, had unknowingly married a sociopath back in 1998. It's a classic sociopathic seduction story they met, he swept her off her feet, they exchanged vows six days later. “I had never felt so loved, so safe, so special,” she wrote. “Of course, I now know it was all a sham.” Mel and her husband started a business coaching company in the United Kingdom that's where she's from and attracted many blue chip clients. They prospered, with a beautiful …
Why we fall for romance scams
Salon.com just posted an article about online romance scams, Facebook status: In a scam relationship, by Tracy Clark-Flory. The scams run like this: Perp finds a target online. They communicate via email, text and sometimes phone. Perp proclaims undying love. Maybe perp sends flowers and stuffed teddy bears. Perp suddenly has a dire emergency and needs money. Target sends money, and keeps sending money until there's none left. Apparently, romance scams—known as “love fraud,” according to the article—are a growth industry. The story quoted a man named Rob who lost $14,000 to a woman he never met. He is now a volunteer for RomanceScams.org, which has counseled 50,000 people who …