In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed. After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He's a victim of what's called ”˜love fraud.'” I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud' has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn't get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.” Then, a few days ago, I receiv …
Psychopaths and outrageous lies
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Psychopaths sometimes don't know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea's soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids. Just what will Kim Jong-Il make of all this? North Korea say medicine using musk deer glands caused five players to fail drug tests The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medic …
Introducing a new Lovefraud author, Mel Carnegie
“There are thousands if not millions of people out there who have been targeted by sociopaths and I intend to do all I can to help them!” That's what Mel (short for Melanie) Carnegie wrote when she first contacted me not long ago. She, like many of us, had unknowingly married a sociopath back in 1998. It's a classic sociopathic seduction story they met, he swept her off her feet, they exchanged vows six days later. “I had never felt so loved, so safe, so special,” she wrote. “Of course, I now know it was all a sham.” Mel and her husband started a business coaching company in the United Kingdom that's where she's from and attracted many blue chip clients. They prospered, with a beautiful …
Why we fall for romance scams
Salon.com just posted an article about online romance scams, Facebook status: In a scam relationship, by Tracy Clark-Flory. The scams run like this: Perp finds a target online. They communicate via email, text and sometimes phone. Perp proclaims undying love. Maybe perp sends flowers and stuffed teddy bears. Perp suddenly has a dire emergency and needs money. Target sends money, and keeps sending money until there's none left. Apparently, romance scams—known as “love fraud,” according to the article—are a growth industry. The story quoted a man named Rob who lost $14,000 to a woman he never met. He is now a volunteer for RomanceScams.org, which has counseled 50,000 people who …
Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burn
Much of the United States erupted in outrage at the news that Casey Anthony was acquitted of murder. Bloggers and citizens asked: What was wrong with the jury? Couldn't these 12 people see through her lies? Even if they had been sequestered for the trial, the media had been reporting her loose relationship with truth for years. Read Casey Anthony's top 10 alleged lies on Investigation Discovery. Lies, however, do not prove that Anthony committed murder. Even Wendy Murphy, the feminist lawyer who vociferously supports battered mothers and abused children, predicted that Casey Anthony would walk. Why? The prosecution did not have proof, beyond a reasonable doubt, that she committed the …
Like most sociopaths, Casey Anthony will crash and burnRead More
Psychology Today on how to spot a narcissist
A Lovefraud reader informs us that the current issue of Psychology Today features an article about narcissists—how they behave, and how to detect them. It's an interesting article, because narcissism is a component of sociopathy. All sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are sociopaths. Read How to spot a narcissist, on PsychologyToday.com. Note: The article quotes the theories of a researcher named Peter Jonason, among others. Lovefraud has written about Jonason's ideas before—I don't agree with them. You can read it here: Psychopaths, silly science and James Bond …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I left my family and friends to marry him
Editor's note: Last year, Donna Andersen appeared in the premiere episode of "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" on the Investigation Discovery Network. The show recently aired on Discovery Home and Health, a Spanish language station, in Central America. Lovefraud has heard from viewers in Mexico and Guatemala. Following is an e-mail from a woman whom we'll call “Blanca.” I saw your history in Discovery Home and Health here at Mexico, and I was surprised because everything you described was like a part of my personal life. I'm part of those worldwide victims, sadly here at Mexico there are not specific laws to deal with his kind of situation. My story began by e-mail. I really don't know …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I left my family and friends to marry himRead More
Frank Farley, clueless expert, on the Casey Anthony verdict
Yesterday I happened to be watching CNN as the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial was announced. Like much of America, I was stunned that she was acquitted. From the reports I've seen about Anthony's pathological lying and lack of concern about her missing daughter, I am confident that she exhibits sociopathic traits. A criminal profiler came out and said on national television that she is a psychopath. See: Profiler says letters show Casey Anthony to be a psychopath All of us at Lovefraud know what sociopaths/psychopaths are capable of. So I was more stunned by one of the so-called CNN pundits, Dr. Frank Farley, who came on the show later. He said that the prosecution's theory of …
Frank Farley, clueless expert, on the Casey Anthony verdictRead More
Doing battle with sociopaths
Today, July 4th, is Independence Day in the United States of America. On this day 235 years ago, the country's forefathers declared independence from the tyranny of a distant king. Today, let us all declare independence from the tyranny of sociopaths. Declaring independence, of course, is only the beginning of the struggle. In 1776, the tyrant did not want to lose a prized possession—the Colonies—and retaliated by sending an army. The Colonists who believed in independence had no choice but to fight, even though most had little experience—they were farmers, tradesmen and laborers. But they learned how to fight. It took five years, many battles and many hardships, but in the end, the Unite …
Recovering from a sociopathic relationship is different
A Lovefraud reader asked me what I thought of advice offered on a website called “Womensdivorce.com.” In a post about relationships after divorce, the website says women should start dating as soon as possible. It also seems to advocate that women engage in brief sexual affairs, and find a transitional partner who can help a woman heal, but whom she shouldn't marry. Read Your first relationship after divorce, on Womensdivorce.com. My reaction is that this advice may be okay for someone involved in one of those amicable divorces, where the partners simply grew apart, are still on speaking terms or even friends, and want what is best for their children. The advice is terrible for someone …
Recovering from a sociopathic relationship is differentRead More