Perhaps the hardest thing for those of us targeted by sociopaths to grasp is the extent of their inhumanity. Sociopaths have no empathy. They do not feel connections to other human beings. We are mere pawns in their games. They view the world as predators and prey—they are the predators, everyone else is prey. We ask, “How can this be?” We object, “He said he loved me!” (“She said she loved me!”) We argue, “I said I was leaving and he cried! He begged me to stay! He said he couldn't live without me!” (The female sociopath did too.) Well, let's take a look at what their words really mean. A Lovefraud reader visited Sociopathworld.com. “They had a discussion going on things they …
“Love Fraud” book earns 5 stars in first independent review
In the book publishing business, reviews by respected sources are critical. As soon as we had printed copies of Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, we sent it to about a dozen reviewers like Publisher's Weekly, the New York Times Book Review and the Library Journal. The first review is in, from the Midwest Book Review. Founded in 1976, the Midwest Book Review publishes monthly book publications specifically for community and academic librarians, booksellers, and the general reading public. Of the 169 books reviewed in the Small Press Bookwatch for November, 2010, Love Fraud is one of two books listed as a “Reviewer's Choice.” Here's what they wrote …
“Love Fraud” book earns 5 stars in first independent reviewRead More
No shame: Disgraced sociopathic governor repackages himself
There's a little TV in the corner of my kitchen, and in the morning, as I make breakfast, I usually have it tuned to CNN. Today I was shocked to see Jim McGreevey, former governor of New Jersey, talking about his new involvement, an organization called “Faith in America.” You remember Jimbo. He was the governor who, after someone threatened to expose his alleged affair with a male staffer, decided to spill the beans himself. On August 12, 2004, with his traumatized wife at his side, McGreevey announced to the world, “I am a gay American.” I don't believe it. McGreevey isn't gay—he's a sociopath. Many sociopaths, if not most of them, are neither gay nor straight—they're sexual opport …
No shame: Disgraced sociopathic governor repackages himselfRead More
Donna Andersen to appear in Princeton, NJ
If you live near Princeton, New Jersey (USA), please come by Borders Bookstore this Saturday, October 30, from 1 to 3 p.m. I'll be discussing my new book Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Several Lovefraud readers were in the audience this past Friday at the Borders Bookstore in Philadelphia. We had a wide-ranging, freewheeling discussion about sociopaths, and how to heal after sociopathic manipulation. I answered a lot of questions. Borders in Princeton is located at 601 Nassau Park Boulevard. Here's a link to the store's website. …
Cyberlife and the sociopathic experience
Two recent news items about life in today's digital age caught my attention: News item #1 The evolution of dating: Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey Behavioral Studies uncover a fundamental shift Recent studies of more than 11,000 people revealed that one in six marriages are now between people who met through an online dating site — more than twice the number of people meeting at bars, at clubs and other social events combined Additionally, the studies show that one in five new committed relationships, including marriages, are between people who met on an online dating site. News item #2 Facbook fueling divorce, research claims Divorce lawyers claim the explosion in the p …
Police seek con man Dwayne Keith Gardner
Police in Alpharetta, Georgia, have asked the public for assistance in tracking down Dwayne Keith Gardner, who has a history of conning women. Here's a report from Fox TV in Atlanta: Police say Dwayne Keith Gardner travels the southeast claiming to be an attorney for an NFL team, a former navy seal or a retired naval officer. He targets single older women by conning the women into lending him large sums of money. Gardner also steals physical items from his victims. After committing the theft, he flees the area, say police. Authorities have issued an arrest warrant for felony theft against Gardner. Gardner is believed to be in the Metro Atlanta region. Police believe there are other …
How to implement No Contact
When people realize that that they are involved with a sociopath, the standard advice from Lovefraud is that they should, as quickly as possible, cut the predator out of their lives. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texts, and certainly no in-person meetings. It means No Contact. Of course, there are times when this is difficult, as when our reader works with the sociopath, or they have children together. In these cases, they need to implement No Contact as best they can. But let's now talk about situations where it is possible to get rid of the person, such as in a dating relationship. What is the best way to establish No Contact? Clearly, firmly and permanently. The rules …
The Law of Attraction and sociopaths
In 2007, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, was the best-selling book in America. The book was featured on two episodes of Oprah, which significantly boosted sales. At one point the book was selling 150,000 copies per week. Total sales: 19 million books. The Secret has many proponents—and many detractors. It's described as a self-help book on the power of positive thinking. Some critics say that the book offers nothing but false hope to people who try to solve their problems by wishing them away, when they need more conventional solutions. The premise of The Secret is the Law of Attraction. Here is how it is defined in the book: Everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into y …
The sociopath’s isolation campaign: Keeping you from the people you love
A sociopath looks deep into your eyes. “I never loved anyone like I love you,” he says. “We are so special together. People will never understand why we're so attracted to each other. They say we shouldn't be together, but they're just jealous about the intensity of our love. Love can overcome anything, you know. It's you and me against the world, kid!” With words like these, sociopaths launch one of their most important strategies: Isolating you from friends and family. It doesn't seem that way at first. In the beginning, sociopaths want to be with you all the time. They proclaim that they are so wrapped up in you that they can't bear to be apart, and it feels flattering to be so de …
The sociopath’s isolation campaign: Keeping you from the people you loveRead More
Intuition, purpose and sociopaths
In my previous two articles on this blog, I wrote that our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose—our personal spiritual growth. This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the best for us. Why, if God loves us, would he/she want us to experience the deceit, betrayal and destruction of a sociopath? In my case, the terrible experience allowed me to unearth internal pain and disappointment that was blocking me from feeling love and peace. My sociopathic ex sensed the negative feelings within me, and promised to be the answer to my prayers and the fulfi …