How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: How can we deal with the sociopathic ex-wife?

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Lovefraud recently received e-mail from a woman whose new husband was previously married to a sociopath, with whom he had two children. Two weeks before his divorce was final, the sociopath charmed him into sex and got pregnant again. Here's what is going on now: She uses the kids as pawns. She molested her son, he told his therapist (at 4 years old). Drew pictures of her vagina, doesn't like hair in his mouth, wet the bed, the whole nine yards. She got out of it. We've been in custody hearings for a year and a half. The judge feels SORRY FOR HER!!! My husband is a good man. She is Satan in human form. She's a constant thorn in my side. My husband is good at dealing with her now. He knows …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: The Biggest Lie

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By James A few days ago while watching television with my oldest son, he turned to me and said, "You know, Dad, what biggest lie she ever told us was?" I said, "No, son, I don't." "When she told us nothing was going to change, and how much everything has changed." "Guess so, Son. Maybe that was the biggest lie she ever told us." I remember that day so well, as if it only happened yesterday. It was the evening of May 22, 2006, between the hours of 7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. The cold months were ending and summer would soon be here, only this summer would be much more different than my children and I could ever imagine. I just finished with the washing, trying to help out more around the …

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Young pop star scores with sociopathic hit song

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader in the UK: I wonder what your take on this pop-music video is? This song is played ad-infinitum on radio stations in the UK; you simply can't escape it. What disturbs me is its indifference toward the glorification of sociopathic, even psychopathic, behaviour. Clearly the character the singer is playing out has a taste for control; inflicting degrading, humiliating behaviour, even torture, pain and —as the finale of the video suggests—murder; everything the UN Convention on Human Rights was meant to prevent. The reader included a link to the song Sweet About Me, by Gabriella Cilmi, on YouTube. Here it is: …

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How to talk to friends and family about sociopaths

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Last Sunday, the Asbury Park Press, a New Jersey newspaper, published a front-page article about the career of Edward J. Devine. On August 1, 2008, Devine was sentenced to five years in prison for bouncing checks and deceiving nonprofit and educational institutions. The bulk of the story was not about those crimes, but what Devine did to the women in his life. Claiming to be the heir to a Sonoma wine company and a trucking mogul, he left one wife, Donna Devine, and her mother $400,000 in debt. He wiped out the inheritance of another wife, Deborah Weiss. He forced his first wife, Carol Ceralli, into bankruptcy. It's a story that many of us know, and some of us have experienced. But …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 2)

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Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Presseject.” This is part two of his story. Part one was posted yesterday. By Presseject About two weeks after I confronted my S, there was a very dark day in which I was cut to pieces. I am okay now recalling it, but at that time, and for many weeks afterwards, it was like a knife in the heart. I would like to share a bit further with you the silver lining to this part of the story and how that relates to the good work you have done with the site. You see, it went like this: I had my S visit and stay with me for my birthday weekend. He presented me with fun gifts and a card that included the words signed with "tons of l …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 1)

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Editor's note: The following essay was submitted by Lovefraud reader "Presseject." This is part one of his story. Part two will be posted tomorrow. By Presseject A little over three months ago I had my heart ripped out from me. It happened suddenly and there are few words I can use to describe the pain I felt as dreams, hopes and even what I thought was my own sanity seemed to disappear quickly in a crushing instant that reverberated with off-the-scale emotional aftershocks for weeks into months afterwards. I suffered nearly two months of an awful nerve-wracking traumatic stress reaction, a hypervigilence that has finally recently lessened its grip on me. The Internet, along with my own …

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It looks like Sarah Palin is under Troopergate investigation because of a sociopath

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John McCain, candidate for United States president, surprised everyone by naming Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, as his running mate. Regardless of what you think about her political views, Palin had a reputation as a squeaky clean reformer—at least until "Troopergate" broke in July. According to the Anchorage Daily News, Alaska legislators voted on July 28, 2008, to hire an independent investigator to explore whether Governor Palin, her family, or members of her administration pressured the former Public Safety Commissioner, Walt Monegan, to fire a state trooper. The trooper in question, Michael G. Wooten, is the ex-husband of Molly McCann. McCann and Wooten are locked in a bitter c …

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Fake Rockefeller to be interviewed on Today Show

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A jailhouse interview with "Clark Rockefeller," who authorities believe is really Christian Gerhartsreiter of Germany, will be broadcast Monday and Tuesday on NBC's Today Show. According to an article on MSNBC.com, the bogus Rockefeller now claims that his ex-wife knew he wasn't really a Rockefeller, and used the name to advance her career. Still, he insists that he doesn't remember if he is Christian Gerhartsreiter, and he grew up in New York City. UPDATE 8/25/08 - See the first Today Show interview. Rockefeller in the New York Times I wonder if the Today Show interview will be as clueless as a story in today's New York Times. Plastered across the front of the Sunday Styles section was …

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Domestic violence is not a battle of the sexes, it’s a battle against sociopaths

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Back in June, a New Jersey judge declared the state's Prevention of Domestic Violence Act to be unconstitutional. Judge Francis B. Schultz, of the Superior Court in Hudson County, determined that it was too easy for someone who claimed domestic violence to get a restraining order. The ruling was controversial. When I first read about the case, I was astounded that a court would take such a stand against domestic violence victims. Sandy Clark, associate director of the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women, considers New Jersey's law to be among the best in the country, according to NJ.com. New Jersey's law The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act is strict. Some of its provisions …

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McGreevey divorce reveals court’s approach to high-conflict cases

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At some point, anyone married to a sociopath is—or should be—headed for divorce. Once the legal proceedings start, they will be brutal, bloody and expensive. The New Jersey Superior Court just released the verdict in the divorce of James E. McGreevey, former governor, and his wife, Dina Matos McGreevey. You may remember this case. On August 12, 2004, Governor James McGreevey held a press conference and announced to the world that he was a "gay American," and he would resign from office because of an alleged affair with a male aide. He hadn't bothered to tell his wife about his sexual orientation until about three days before the press conference. At his insistence, Matos stood beside him a …

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