Reading the Sunday paper this morning, this little news clip caught my eye: "The former fashion writer convicted of sexually tormenting a co-worker while dressed as a firefighter says he'd go on a homicidal rampage if released from an Ohio prison. "Peter Braunstein told the New York Daily News in a jailhouse interview that he has 'no desire' for rehabilitation." Back in 2005, Peter Braunstein stalked a woman who worked for the same company as he once did (although he didn't know her), set off a smoke bomb in the hallway of her New York City apartment, banged on her door dressed as a firefighter, and held her prisoner and molested her for 13 hours. He then fled and police launched a …
Sociopaths violate all human values
As part of my day job—writing scripts for web-based training programs—I came across some information developed by the Institute for Global Ethics. Surveys conducted worldwide have consistently identified a group of values that people of all cultures and nationalities recognize as essential. These universal values are: Honesty Responsibility Respect Fairness Compassion Sociopaths violate all of them. Perhaps that's why those of us who are ethical, who care about others, who want to live cooperatively among our neighbors, feel so shaken after a collision with a sociopath. These predators take the qualities that people all over the world consider essential to the social contract and s …
Passing through the hatred and rage at the sociopath’s betrayal
Saturday night, the Lovefraud reader "rriinnaa" posted the following under Heeding the Exploiter's Earliest Warning: I cant stop crying .. and I dont know what Im crying over ! Im crying over the happy-go-lucky joyful loving warm Rina.. the woman I once was .. THAT I POSSIBLY won't be again ”¦. i want to be held and rocked until this pain goes away, but i have to work, i have to pay bills,i have to bring up my children ”¦ all the PROMISES HE MADE TO ME, “when you cry Rina, I will cry with you” ”¦.. “I would die for you Rina—¦. “such simple things make you happy Rina”.. “Rina, you are the light in my life—¦ “Rina, you are strong and I believe in you” .. AND AND AND AND AND AND AND .. oh my …
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Help in gathering evidence for a restraining order
"D" Spotwell knows the frustration of trying to get a restraining order. She had a violent husband (currently serving a life sentence, which is why I'm not using her first name) and another relationship that turned into stalking. She went to court numerous times to get restraining orders, complaining of telephone harassment. She left court empty-handed. Why? Because she had no evidence of the harassing calls. Spotwell has since learned how to get proof of telephone harassment that a judge will usually accept. Now, she's helping women (and men) in similar situations. Spotwell is a representative for a telephone answering system called SpeechPhone. This is essentially a computer technology …
Finding a real relationship after a sociopath
The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who comments under the name "LovingAnnie." This woman—we'll call her Annie—spent four years waiting for a relationship to materialize with a policeman who tantalized her with flattery and promises. Here's what Annie wrote: Annie and the cop I called 9-1-1 for the first time in my life (a neighbor problem), and when I answered the door, my first thought on seeing him was, "wow—he is sooo cute." We ended up talking for almost an hour and exchanging phone numbers. He told me he'd been a cop for almost 20 years, was divorced with two kids. That a few years after the divorce was final, he had a girlfriend who was also a police officer, but …
10 tactics for child custody battles with sociopaths
Dr. Liane Leedom wrote about the tragic case Dr. Amy Castillo, whose children were murdered by their psychopathic father after several judges issued rulings that failed to protect them. I hope this terrible and extreme case will be a wake-up call for family courts.Lovefraud frequently receives e-mail from men and women involved in child custody disputes with sociopaths, who hopefully, are not murderers. Here is one of them:I am involved in a custody case with a sociopath, however, my case is being fought in Europe where I recently relocated to (I am American, he is European). After being the sole caregiver of my children for five years, I had no choice but to leave them with their father and …
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Victim loses to a con artist, and then to the courts
"A victim of crime shall be treated with fairness, compassion and respect by the criminal justice system." So states the Crime Victims Constitutional Amendment, added to the state of New Jersey constitution in 1991. New Jersey also has a 14-point Crime Victims Bill of Rights (NJS 52:4B-36), which expands upon the constitutional amendment. Among its provisions, crime victims and witnesses are entitled to: Be treated with dignity and compassion by the criminal justice system. Be informed about the criminal justice process. Have inconveniences associated with participation in the criminal justice process minimized to the fullest extent possible. The Bill of Rights sounds good, …
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The sociopath leaves, and her OCD symptoms disappear
Editor's note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who comments as "Free." I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 13 years. Two years after we started living together, I slowly developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It first started off with a safety issue, where I was going around the house checking to see if everything was locked and turned off, until it escalated that I couldn't have knives anywhere near me because I was too afraid that I might lash out and hurt someone. I lived in absolute terror because of this. Some instinct told me to hide all of this as much as I could from my husband. But he did find out and he didn't offer any help, or seek help …
The sociopath leaves, and her OCD symptoms disappearRead More
Dad’s troubles with a sociopathic ex-wife
A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call Joe, recently sent the following e-mail. Joe's ex-wife has custody of their daughter, whom we'll call Suzie. The ex-wife is clearly using the child to sponge off of Joe. My daughter's mother always wants to control me and our daughter. I'm sure you've heard of these types of cases before. My daughter's mother is constantly trying to use my daughter against me to control me like a puppet. I was with my ex for a period of years before our daughter was born, so I blame myself for seeing some of the signs, but not leaving. I see some change in my daughter's behavior as of late, so I'm a bit concerned. When I have her, she doesn't want to go home and every …
On psychological head games and “Nookie” the turtle
Editor's note: This post was submitted by the Lovefraud reader Aloha Traveler. Sociopaths often use subtle methods to intimidate their victims. One of the funniest and most absurd manifestations of this tactic came to me in the form of a small stuffed turtle. I had been on Maui for about six months and was able to get a cheap ticket home to California for a visit with my friends. I was already deep into an abusive and confusing nightmare with the Bad Man. He was twisting up my reality and I needed to be in a place where I knew who I was, with people that knew me well. The Bad Man agreed to take me to the airport for my departure. As I finished packing and was about to zip up my suitcase, …
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