How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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When dealing with a sociopath, you must save yourself

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Yesterday was a tough day at Lovefraud. First thing in the morning, I got a call from a woman I'd spoken to before. She was hysterical. From what she'd told me previously, it sounded like she was dealing with three sociopaths—her husband, her oldest son, and a guy she had an affair with. Initially, her husband had condoned the affair. Then he left her. Then he returned. Then he smeared her with her family and friends. The oldest son was violent. "You have to get out," I advised. "I don't have any money," she whined. "My husband hid the checkbook." "Is your name on the account?" I asked. "Yes." "Then go to the bank, withdraw money and leave." Then she started telling m …

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Worst-case scenarios at the Battered Women conference

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The keynote speaker had a question for the 200 or so women in the room during the Battered Women, Abused Children and Child Custody conference: "How many of you have been thrown in jail during your custody battle?" Approximately 15 women raised their hands. These women had been thrown in jail by the courts—technically on charges such as contempt of court or failure to pay child support. In reality, the women were jailed for trying to protect their children from abusive fathers. At least one woman was a fugitive, unable to return to her home state. No one in the audience was surprised—except, perhaps, me. Dr. Liane Leedom and I attended the conference, which was held this past wee …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He wanted me to keep playing his bitch

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a 24-year-old woman, a graduate student. He told me he was all I needed; he told me that he was the only person who cared. He told me my friends hated me because they were so mad at me because I got sick. He told me they were just all bitches like all of the other girls in the world. Like his ex-girlfriends, like his mother, like (me). I had no idea that sociopaths existed. I thought that "sociopath" was only a word thrown about on TV, late night news, America's Most Wanted. My therapist told me that my ex-boyfriend is one of the worst sociopaths that she has heard about in her 12 years of practice. Abuse starts slow The …

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BOOK REVIEW: The Other Mrs. Jordan

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"I should write a book." Many people have said this in describing their unbelievable, shocking and downright bizarre experiences with a sociopath to Lovefraud. Mary Turner Thomson of Edinburgh, Scotland, did just that. Thompson's book is called The Other Mrs. Jordan—A True Story of Bigamy and Betrayal. It will have you shaking your head in disbelief—and nodding your head in understanding. If you've been thoroughly deceived by a sociopath, elements of Thomson's story will be very familiar to you. Perfect gentleman Mary Turner Thomson was a 35-year-old single mother when the sociopath, Will Jordan, wormed his way into her life. Of course, at the time, Thomson did not know the guy was …

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Meet the new Lovefraud author: Stephen Appel, Ph.D.

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Psychopaths are not necessarily great liars. That's the premise of a series of articles Dr. Stephen Appel, the newest Lovefraud Blog author, has recently posted on his website, The Top Two Inches. "The Top Two Inches," in case you're wondering (as I was), refers to the head, but means the mind, brain and thinking. Dr. Steve's website is devoted to contemplating "the mysterious workings of the mind." In Myth: Psychopaths are great liars, Dr. Steve agrees that psychopaths are pathological liars. "They are pathological, they are chronic tellers of untruths, and this dishonesty is tied up with their pathology," he writes. But according to Dr. Steve, research shows the speech of a …

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Should I warn the sociopath’s next victim?

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As many of us have painfully learned, before sociopaths dump one victim, they usually have already targeted another. In the following letter, a Lovefraud reader asked what she should do about the new victim: I am finally away from the sociopath, although he still continues to contact me from time to time demanding money. He has a new target—as always, a financially secure woman, vulnerable and he has "given her a shoulder to cry on." Her father just died, her mother has cancer and she stands to inherit some valuable land and she is already "hooked" thinking that he is "so caring" and "has been there for her and she for him." He has told her I left him took all his money, etc.—the same story …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: That was horrible, but the worst was yet to come

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Editor's note: How can one woman cope with cheating, abandonment, cruelty and worse? A Lovefraud reader has sent the following letter, and would appreciate your insight and advice. I was the perfect victim for the man who has fathered two of my children, having just gotten out of a relationship with a previous sociopath (power and control was that guy's motivation and he was cruel, vicious person behind closed doors). I was insecure, looking for a person with integrity and morals, and I still believed in the general goodness of mankind. The first sociopath hadn't smashed my general outlook on life, though, and I was rising to the challenges I faced. The second one has, though. He was the …

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Media profiles psychopaths without identifying them

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One con artist called himself Luc Sonnet. He claimed to be a fine artist who studied with Picasso and sold his paintings to wealthy international clients for as much as $250,000. The other con artist, Robert Freegard, claimed to be a British spy. He tracked international terrorists. Both of these con artists were profiled in the media on Sunday, December 2. The Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper began its story about Luc Sonnet, whose real name was Richard Grossman, on the front page. The story continued inside for three more full pages. Dateline, the investigative reporting television show produced by NBC News, told the story of Robert Freegard, a Brit who abducted an American woman …

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Is there any constructive, legal action to take against sociopaths?

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader: My psychologist referred me to this web site. It's terrific save one section: How can running away from these people be the only solution? Granted, it's a stop-gap solution to protect yourself from future abuses; however, it's not a solution for full/final resolution. Allowing [them] to perpetuate their endeavors and perpetrate them on others only permits proliferation. Please tell me that there is some constructive, legal way to be proactive and preventative in a more communal fashion. I have visions of: 20 years from now they rule the world. It won't be survival of the fittest. It will have become survival of the …

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Most cheaters are amateurs; sociopaths are professionals

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Lovefraud recently received a very nice e-mail from the editor of HowToDoThings.com, complimenting the information provided by Lovefraud. She suggested that an article from her website might be of interest to Lovefraud readers. It is called How To Recognize the Signs of Cheating Men. I checked out the article. Now, I mean absolutely no disrespect to HowToDoThings.com, but the article describes cheating by mere amateurs, not sociopaths. Signs of a cheating man According to the article, all of the following should raise a woman's suspicions that her guy might be cheating: 1. He improves his personal appearance. 2. He finds fault with you. 3. Your sex life changes. 4. He uses a …

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