How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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50 classic warning signs of sociopathic behavior in one BBC story

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A Lovefraud reader recently sent me a story from the BBC about a relationship with a sociopath, although the article never comes out and says it. Here's the summary: When Anna, an actress, fell in love with an older and more successful actor he seemed like the perfect man. They quickly became engaged - but then he began to change. It took time for her to realise that her fairytale romance had become an abusive relationship. The article highlights typical behavior of a predatory sociopath, and the typical responses of his unsuspecting target. I point out 50 warning signs below. But first, I invite you to read the article. Emotional abuse: 'My fiancé seemed perfect - but he wanted to …

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Deception: the sociopath’s key strategy

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My blog article last week was entitled, Why falling for a romance scam doesn’t mean you’re stupid. I related several stories of people who thought they were in romantic relationships, but everything their so-called partners told them was a lie. One woman lost $100,000. Another lost her life. In response to the article, I received the following comment from a reader: I’ve figured out that the common denominator with all these love scams, is lack of SELF love! Why are there so many ppl that don’t love themselves enough to not place themselves in these crazy scenarios? In some cases, there may be truth to this observation — yes, some people do not think highly of themselves. But I do …

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Why falling for a romance scam doesn’t mean you’re stupid

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A woman from Queensland, Australia, trying to help her online lover, found herself in the middle of a $6 million romance scam. The 60-year-old woman met the man, who claimed to be American, 18 months ago. He convinced her to send him $100,000 of her own money. Then she gave the man her bank details, and he deposited $6 million into her account — money that had been swindled from a South Korean business. In a news article on ABC.net.au, Detective Senior Sergeant Daren Edwards gave his opinion of the woman's actions in the romance scam: "I think it's just blatant stupidity — there's no other word for it." Those of us who've lost money to sociopathic love interests usually do feel stu …

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3 vital concepts about sociopaths that are key to our survival

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Two Lovefraud readers recently sent in articles explaining their views regarding their experiences with sociopaths. Their opinions are almost completely opposite from each other. In The importance of recognizing the complexities of sociopath relationships, the reader “Andrea19” suggests a nuanced way of looking at our experiences with sociopaths. Yes, her ex-husband is manipulative and deceptive, she writes, but she acknowledges that she has her own mental health issues that contributed to the dysfunctional relationship. The Lovefraud reader “Lanie19” takes a different view. In her article, I lived among sociopathic monsters all of my life, she comes out and says, “They are all monsters.” H …

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‘Listen to your intuition,’ says a woman who didn’t, and died regretting it

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Last year, I had an email exchange with a woman whom we'll call, "Amy." I sent out a newsletter that included an article about staying safe from sociopaths by listening to our intuition. Amy responded: *** Nov. 13, 2018 Hi Donna, This is so true about intuition. The biggest mistake I made was not trusting my gut feeling that there was something wrong with the man to whom I was engaged. I asked everyone, friends and family, for support and they all said i should marry him. Now I realize that the quick engagement was a trap to get me hooked and committed, to be hesitant to break it off. I see it now as a real tactic to get me hooked. Back then, it seemed like the worst thing to be …

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The sociopath preys on young girls with vulnerabilities

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Editor's note: This story was written by a Lovefraud reader who posts as "stars4healing." I'm not a good storyteller. I just want to try my best to put some facts out there in case it helps someone. This is just a couple easy to explain things he put me (and others) through. He is an engineer, very smart man. Comes off as perverted, "creepy" (he hates that word), and desperate. He likes to seem like a helper. This way he can look like a victim when his "helpers" report his abuse. He preys on young girls with vulnerabilities, mainly drug addicts. Thanks to me, he's mastered the art of exploiting and humiliating an addict. I wasn't addicted when I met him. I was a teenager; he was 10 …

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7 Classic lies from sociopaths and how to spot them

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Sociopaths lie. No matter what type of relationship you have with a sociopath — romantic, family, business or casual — sooner or later the sociopath will lie to you. The circumstances may vary, the scale of the lie may vary, but at some point the sociopath will tell you something that simply isn't true. Following are seven classic lies from sociopaths (people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorders). How many have you heard? I love you Sociopaths are incapable of love, as you and I understand it. Real love includes caregiving, and sociopaths simply cannot put someone else's well being before their own. How …

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Michelle Carter claims urging her boyfriend to commit suicide was “free speech”

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On July 12, 2014, two Massachusetts teenagers, Michelle Carter and her boyfriend Conrad Roy III, were texting about suicide. Specifically, Carter urged Roy to commit suicide. She wrote: "Just go somewhere in your truck and no one is really out there right now because it's an awkward time. If you don't do it now you're never gonna do it, and you can say you'll do it tomorrow, but you probably won't. Tonight? Love you." Roy got back in his truck and committed suicide. Almost three years later, Carter was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. Carter's conviction was upheld by the Massachusetts Supreme Court on February 6, 2019. She is now serving a 15-month prison sentence. But a few …

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What to do with your anger at the sociopath

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When I finally realized that my husband, James Montgomery, had lied to me, cheated on me, and targeted me just to take my money, I was angry. Furious. Outraged. With each lie I discovered, my internal upheaval grew. Yes, he was cheating with multiple women, and taking money from them as well. No, he was not a Hollywood screenwriter, although he pretended to be. No, he had never served in the Australian military, even though he claimed to have won its highest honor. I felt the anger deep within me. I had a hard time concentrating on what I needed to do to extricate myself from the mess. I couldn't sleep. Perhaps you know what I mean. Anger management Dealing with anger was …

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Two Australian ‘black widows’ convinced men to commit murder

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Yes, women can be psychopaths. The Daily Mail just published an article about two women from Australia — Michelle Burgess and Melissa Shaw — who exerted such mind control over their male lovers that the men were willing to do anything for them — including commit murder. Michelle Burgess of Adelaide promised her lover, Kevin Matthews, that she would kill his wife so they could be together. Then Burgess convinced another of her lovers, David Key, to actually do the deed. He did, and was caught. Burgess, Matthews and Key were all convicted. Once in prison, Burgess attempted to seduce multiple male prison guards. The prison had to establish a policy that male guards could not be alone with …

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