How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?

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My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, lied from the very beginning of our involvement, right through to the end. His first lies were in his online profile — age 49 (he was 55), financially secure (he had no money at all), an entrepreneur (never built a successful business in his life). When we met in person, the lies continued nonstop. Here’s some of what I heard: Lie: I won the Victoria Cross for my heroism in Vietnam (complete with a commendation). Truth: He was never in Vietnam, in fact, never in the military. His commendation was forged. Lie: I will be the next Walt Disney. Truth: He couldn’t get a job as Dumbo. Lie: I don’t have a gay bone in my body. Truth: I found …

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Useless advice on how to spot a lie

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The Daily Mail just published a silly article in which a psychologist explains how to tell when someone is lying. The behavioral psychologist, Jo Hemmings, dispenses all of the usual and useless advice about watching for microexpressions, lack of eye contact, convoluted explanations and changes in behavior. Okay, so the advice might work for spotting a normal person who is uncomfortable with lying. It will never work for spotting a sociopath who lies like he or she breathes. In fact, the article is accompanied by a sidebar in which new research published by Edinburgh University finds that it is hard to spot a liar. Why? Because liars may intentionally suppress the tell-tale signs of …

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Dealing with a sociopath: Fight or flight?

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Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you're the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and run? Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don't fight, you can't win. I don't necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don't win the battle. I believe you …

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Domestic violence advocate allegedly killed by her ex-boyfriend

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Donna Alexander, 34, of Grand Prairie, Texas, was a domestic violence advocate. She founded an "Anger Room," where people could blow off stress by smashing things, rather than their loved ones. But Alexander herself was allegedly attacked by her estranged boyfriend, Nathaniel Mitchell, 34. Mitchell brought her to the hospital with severe head injuries. A week later, Alexander died of her injuries. Mitchell has been charged with murder. Anger Room founder allegedly beaten to death by ex knew relationship 'Would be the death of her': Sister, on People.com. Anger Room founder, who appeared on Real Housewives of Dallas, allegedly beaten to death by ex, on People.com.   …

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She was diagnosed as bipolar, but she is definitely personality disordered

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Kenny18." I was targeted, lied to about her past regarding previous relationships, she contacted me while she was dating someone else, I was love bombed, she moved in, tried to isolate me from my friends and family, she was rude to my family, she was verbally and physically abusive to me, she told me on multiple occasions that she hated her 8-year-old son and wished she never had him, in earshot of him, she vandalized my truck, the list goes on. Before she physically assaulted me, she asked me, "Who gets the house in case something happens to you?" I replied "my family," since she was living with me for less than a …

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Con man smiles and winks as he’s sentenced for scamming four women

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Mauricio Palomino, a contractor in New York City, was sentenced to three to nine years in prison for scamming his former girlfriends. Apparently he thought it was funny. He laughed and joked with his lawyer, and then winked at a news photographer as he was led out of the courtroom. Palomino took a total of $80,000 from four women between 2012 and 2014. He racked up charges on their credit cards and accepted loans from them that he never repaid. He was also accused of threatening several of his victims. Con man 'gigolo' was all smiles at sentencing, on NYPost.com. Construction boss accused of moonlighting as gigolo to swindle lovers, on NYPost.com. …

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‘Dark core of personality’ — what antisocials, psychopaths, sadists and other miscreants have in common

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Is the disordered person in your life antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, psychopathic — or perhaps even Machiavellian or a sadist? You may have struggled to figure out which definition applies, perhaps reasoning that a narcissist isn't as bad as a psychopath. In reality, all of these disorders are bad news — people who have them engage in similar destructive behavior. Now, research from Europe shows that all of these disorders share a common denominator. In a paper called The Dark Core of Personality, Ingo Zettler, a psychology professor at the University of Copenhagen, and two German colleagues, define the "D-factor" at the dark core. They write: All dark traits can be traced back …

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How much do psychopaths really cost our society?

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Kaboni Savage was a drug kingpin in Philadelphia. On his orders, his crew firebombed the home of a federal witness in 2004, killing six people, including four children. Savage was sentenced to death in May, 2013. A few months later, the Philadelphia Inquirer wrote an article about the cost of prosecuting Kaboni Savage: Bill for Savage trial easily tops $10 million: No one protested when a federal jury recommended in June that Kaboni Savage be put to death. In just a few years, Savage had left a grisly trail in North Philadelphia. He gunned down one man, ordered the killing of five others, and directed the 2004 rowhouse firebombing that killed four children and two women. The …

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Reality TV surgeon and his girlfriend charged with drugging and molesting women

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Grant William Robicheaux, 38, a California orthopedic surgeon, and his girlfriend, Cerissa Laura Riley, 31, have been charged with drugging and sexually assaulting two women. Authorities say there may be more victims. The couple had video taped hundreds, if not thousands, of sexual encounters with women. Four years ago, Robicheaux appeared on the Bravo television show, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. It sounds like these two should star in a show called, Dating Rituals of Depraved Predators. O.C. surgeon, girlfriend, charged with drugging, sexually assaulting women, on Foxla.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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One predator priest abused five sisters in the same family — now they tell their stories

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/82PnomOYJ-E"] One predator priest, Father Augustine Giella, groomed and sexually assaulted five girls from the same family — the Fortneys, of Enhaut, Pennsylvania, near Harrisburg. The abuse began in 1982, when Giella was assigned to their parish, but none of the girls talked about what happened until decades later. The family received a settlement from the Diocese of Harrisburg. It was accompanied by a gag order. Only now, after the recently released grand jury on sexual abuse in Pennsylvania's Catholic churches, are they talking. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported their story today. And in the same issue, the newspaper also told the story of Corey …

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