Donna Andersen, Author at Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships

Mission almost impossible: Finding mass shooters before they kill

September 19, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

It's become all too familiar all of a sudden, someone opens fire on people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the aftermath, the question is asked: Didn't anyone know that the shooter was disturbed? Sometimes, unfortunately, the answer is no. Matthew Goldenberg, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine, explains why it's so hard to identify potential mass murderers. Can we pick out the mass shooters before they kill? on LATimes.com. A guide to mass shootings in America, on MotherJones.com. …

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Researchers say a wide face predicts psychopathic traits in men

September 18, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 16 Comments

Wow might there be a way to spot a psychopathic man just by looking at him? Researchers from Goethe University in Frankfurt, Germany, have published a paper showing that a man's facial width-to-height ratio (fWHR) predicts psychopathy. In a study that included undergraduate students and prison inmates, the researchers found an association between the fWHR and the psychopathy traits of fearless dominance, self-centered impulsivity, and with overall psychopathy scores. According to the Daily Mail, "Last year, a separate study found both men and women with wide faces tend to be more aggressive, dominant and angry." What's interesting is that this research apparently began with monkeys. …

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Gaslighting in real life

September 15, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 5 Comments

Here on Lovefraud, we often talk about "gaslighting," which is a strategy employed by sociopaths to exert control over their targets. According to Wikipedia: Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The term comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman. In this movie, the villain, G …

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Genevieve Kelley fled to save her daughter, now goes to jail

September 12, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

In 2004, Genevieve Kelley of New Hampshire fled the United States with her daughter, Mary Nunes, then eight years old. Kelley said that her ex-husband, Mark Nunes, was sexually abusing the girl. New Hampshire authorities said the charges were unfounded. Genevieve felt that the only way she could save her daughter was to leave. For more than 10 years, they lived in Costa Rica, along with Genevieve's new husband, Scott Kelley. Arrest warrants were issued for Genevieve and Scott Kelley. Genevieve returned to the United States last November, and Scott returned in April. Both were arrested and convicted of custodial interference. Scott Kelley served five months. On Monday, Genevieve reported to …

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Josh Duggar, scandal, and a religious cult

September 11, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 4 Comments

The media love a scandal, and the reports about Josh Duggar, of the hit reality TV show 19 kids and counting, just keep coming. First was the report that Josh Duggar, the oldest son of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, had sexually molested his sisters as a teenager. (Four of the 5 girls Josh Duggar molested were his sisters: Parents, on ktla.com.) Then there were reports that Josh Duggar cheated on his wife and had two accounts on the Ashley Madison cheating website. (Family values activist Josh Duggar had a paid Ashley Madison account, on Gawker.com) Then porn star Danica Dillon alleged that Josh Duggar paid her for sex, and he has "no remorse" for his behavior. (Josh Duggar has 'no remorse' …

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Do narcissists make better presidents?

September 8, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 3 Comments

In a recent article in the New York Times, Scott O. Lilienfeld (president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy) and Ashley L. Watts discussed their research into presidential narcissism and success in office. They estimated the narcissism levels of all United States presidents, up to George W. Bush. The two highest scorers on "grandiose narcissism" were Theodore Roosevelt and Lyndon B. Johnson.They correlated presidential narcissism with surveys of presidential performance developed by historians. The result of the study: "Grandiose narcissism" was associated with overall presidential success, but also with unethical behaviors. The Narcissist in Chief, on NYTimes.com. Link …

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Two Legged Snakes – explaining manipulative people with outrageous cartoons

September 7, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 27 Comments

They say picture is worth 1,000 words. The 91 cartoons in Dr. Ed Slack's slender book, Two-legged snakes understanding and handling manipulative people, communicate the essence of sociopaths, narcissists, and other exploiters. The pictures will plant an understanding of disordered people firmly in your brain: They are snakes. In fact, deceptive and manipulative people have been known as snakes for millennia. Dr. Slack points out that the original deceiver, according to Christian, Jewish and Islamic traditions, was the serpent in the Garden of Eden, who tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. He says this Bible story "highlights one of our most important tasks as human beings: to choose well …

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History buff believes Philadelphia serial killer may have been Jack the Ripper

September 1, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 2 Comments

H. H. Holmes killed at least 27 people and possibly many more before he was hanged in a Philadelphia prison in 1896, according to a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Before coming to Philadelphia, Holmes built a hotel in Chicago now known as "The Murder Castle." It was equipped with secret tunnels and staircases, gas chambers and more devices for torture and death. Mark Potts, a history buff from Berks County, Pennsylvania, speculates that Holmes may have also been "Jack the Ripper," who murdered five prostitutes in London in 1888. Was Phila. killer Jack the Ripper? on Philly.com. …

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Pets and recovery from sociopaths

August 31, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 12 Comments

For the first time in 12 years, we've had a dog in the house. Terry and I have been watching our nephew's dog while he and his parents are on vacation. The dog, Cade, is a frisky 15-month-old mix. I don't know what breeds are in the mix, but Cade looks a lot like Beau, the dog I had while married to the sociopath and the dog who kept me company as I recovered from my ex-husband's destruction. I've been having flashbacks. Cade follows me around the house the way Beau did. He curls up in the same spots on the carpet that Beau liked. And he gets in the same kind of trouble that Beau did when he was young. I'm loving every minute of it (okay, I could do with a little less chewing). Cade …

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How to protect yourself online

August 29, 2015 // by Donna Andersen// 1 Comment

The Internet is now an integral part of our lives, so it's important to know how to protect ourselves online. The U.S.government has created a great website, OnGuardOnline.gov, with all kinds of information on exactly how to do that. Lovefraud strongly recommends that you take a look at it watch the videos and read some articles with great tips for staying safe. Here are a few good ones: Common online scams Computer security Using IP cameras safely Resource provided by a Lovefraud reader …

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recovery46 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again: “Bernice—it’s 2025 and my experience with the spath was EXACTLY the same! I kept rereading bc all the details were…”
sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”