How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Mother of a mentally ill son describes what she faces every day

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Perhaps, in the aftermath of the terrible tragedy in Connecticut, people will finally start talking seriously about how to cope with the mentally disturbed. Liza Long, mother of 13-year-old boy who sometimes rages out of control, tells her story. 'I am Adam Lanza's mother': A mom's perspective on the mental illness conversation in America, on HuffingtonPost.com. Dr. Liane Leedom recommended this story for Lovefraud readers. …

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Answers to questions about sociopaths

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I recently heard from yet another Lovefraud reader who realizes that she's been in a relationship with a sociopath. She's in the phase of trying to wrap her brain around about what these people are, and sent me the following email: What happens to these people?  These sociopaths?  How do they end up in life?  Do they just go from victim to victim?  Have any of them ever realized the affliction of which they suffer?  Do they ever realize they are not capable of love?  If they are not capable of love, they will never be happy, right?  So...you could present “Red Flags of Love Fraud” to a sociopath and they would not see themselves in it, correct?  Do they ever see the error of their ways?  The …

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Getting the sociopath out of your head

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Not long ago, I heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life. He poured on the charm, and Rochelle felt like finally, after more than 30 years, she had her chance to be with the guy she always wanted. Rochelle left everything to move out of state with him. They eventually m …

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BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole Rule

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Here at Lovefraud, most of the conversation is about the sociopaths we've encountered in romantic relationships. But sociopaths are equal opportunity exploiters, and are often abusive in some way to almost everyone in their lives. Therefore, we can encounter sociopaths anywhere—especially in the workplace. I recently read a book that's helpful for avoiding, or surviving, abuse on the job: The No Asshole Rule Building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't. The book is written by Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D., a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University. Yes, there is a mild obscenity in the title, and the A-word appears throughout the book. Still, I'd d …

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TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: I though I hit the jackpot of love

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Editor's note: This story was written by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Priscilla." I met a man in Canada on a popular dating website. I thought he was the "one" for me, and he had me quite convinced of this after 3 months of emails, texts and phone calls. So convinced was I, that when he "popped the question" over the phone one night to marry him, I told him yes. This was the first guy I had ever had a long relationship with, and felt it was heaven on earth. I was in my early 20s, and had never dated before. He was my first real "boyfriend," and I thought I had hit the jackpot of love. He had me so emotionally invested over the phone, that I felt I could not be without him so …

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Reminder of the brazen lies

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I live four miles from where Hurricane Sandy made landfall in New Jersey. The bay, dramatically swollen by rain, wind and storm surge, left three feet of water in the ground floor of my home. We're slowly cleaning up the mess. On several occasions, government and agency officials have been on our street to see how we're making out. City officials were walking around the day after we were allowed to return home. A week later, a man from FEMA (the Federal Emergency Management Agency) knocked on our door and gave us a flier for disaster assistance. A week after that a woman from the Red Cross stopped by, checking to see if anyone needed services. Yesterday, we had another visitor. A man …

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Lovefraud reader gets con man Alistair Stewart jailed for his £600,000 con

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Nina Siegenthaler, a smart, sophisticated real estate agent in the Turks and Caicos Islands, called me about 18 months ago, trying to figure out what had happened to her. She lost £600,000 to a British con man who posed as a former investment banker. Siegenthaler worked with British authorities to get the guy prosecuted. Last week, he pleaded guilty to fraud. He is now in jail awaiting his sentencing. Here's more on the story: 'I had to stop him fleecing other women': Caribbean victim of hedge fund fantasist lost more than £600,000 through 'dating a sociopath,' on Dailymail.co.uk. Conman's £600,000 fraud posing as retired Goldman Sachs billionaire, on Telegraph.co.uk. …

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Gen. David Petraeus scandal displays the range of human misbehavior

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I've been incredulously half-following the media reports of the scandal involving General David Petraeus; his paramour Paula Broadwell; Jill Kelley, whose complaint about harassing emails touched off the investigation; Natalie Khawam, Kelley's twin sister who was embroiled in a nasty custody fight; General John Allen, who allegedly sent "flirtatious" emails to Kelley; and a shirtless FBI agent. This story is so convoluted that it's tough to follow all the characters and allegations. I found a really good summary on MotherJones.com, complete with updates as the story got thicker and thicker: The David Petraeus Scandal, Explained I thought there must be a lesson in this story …

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What feels like pain is really progress

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Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Cassandra." My reply follows the letter. I don't even know where to begin but I'll try and make it short. Won't be sweet though. I am a long time advocate of Lovefraud. I was a victim of a psychopath over 7 years ago. I was with him for 5 years, we had a house together, dogs, like a married couple. Finally a girl confronted me and told me he was living a double life, as well as having sex with both men and women. And I was not shocked. Just angry at myself for not facing the truth for so long. I ended the relationship. He tried to get me back. I got a restraining order. To this day he still tries to email and …

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