Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like …
With the Penn State report, a public understanding of unbelievable betrayal
Yesterday, Louis Freeh, former director of the FBI, released the report of his investigation into the Penn State scandal. Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach under the legendary Joe Paterno, was convicted last month of 45 charges related to his abuse of young boys, and Freeh was retained by the university's board of trustees to find out exactly what happened and why. Freeh's report is scathing. The front page of this morning's Philadelphia Inquirer proclaimed in the largest headline typeface I've ever seen: DAMNING JUDGMENTÂ Under the headline were the photos of the four Pennsylvania State University officials who the report says enabled, through their inaction, Jerry …
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Red Flags of Love Fraud featured in Courier Post newspaper
The Camden Courier-Post, located in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just published an article entitled, How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles. Both the online and print versions feature really big photos of my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud. The article also includes tips from the Israeli self-defense system. So, if you miss the signs you're dating a sociopath early on, perhaps it's good to know how to react to physical violence. Read: How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles on CourierPostOnline.com. …
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Lovefraud Lessons: Videos to help you escape sociopaths
Today Lovefraud introduces a new feature: Lovefraud Lessons, a series of videos to teach you how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. Lovefraud Blog videos Lessons #1, #2 and #3 are up now, and new videos will be posted every week. The primary venue, of course, is YouTube, on the Lovefraud Lessons channel. My goal is to reach as many people as possible, around the world, and teach them about sociopaths. If you know someone who should watch the videos, forward a link! …
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The sociopathic betrayal as an incident in your life
Many Lovefraud readers experience the phenomenon of "losing yourself" in the sociopathic relationship. Before meeting the sociopath, you may have been, for the most part, happy, confident, successful and financially stable. You had a network of people who cared about you. Yes, there was some kind of vulnerability—perhaps you were a bit lonely—and the sociopath used the vulnerability to infiltrate your life. But, for the most part, you were okay. Then, either suddenly or slowly, your life disintegrated, and the problems you face are so immense, and so interconnected, and so overwhelming, that you don't know where to begin unraveling them. You don't have the energy to start. Rather than the …
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Vicious bullying leads to suicide in Japan
This may be the most flagrant and egregious case of school bullying ever—and teachers laughed. Read: Kids and laughing teachers bullied suicide teen, on ABCNews.go.com. More bullying stories: Downtown Miami charter school sexual abuse and bullying led boy to attempt suicide twice: Lawsuit, on HuffingtonPost.com. Teacher accused of raping 12-year-old boy, on AOL.com. Links provided by Lovefraud readers. …
Sociopaths and the real harm of lying
The Stolen Valor Act, passed by Congress in 2005, made is illegal for anyone to falsely claim, verbally or in writing, to have been awarded a U.S. military decoration. Last week, the Supreme Court ruled that the law was unconstitutional because it violated the First Amendment's protection of free speech. The ruling by six Supreme Court justices proved that they simply do not understand how lying works in real life. Lies must lead directly to fraud The majority opinion in United States v. Alvarez, written by Justice Anthony M. Kennedy and joined by Chief Justice John G. Roberts and Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sonia Sotomayor, said that the Constitution does not allow speech to be …
Documentary exposes rape in the military
A new documentary sheds light on the military's biggest cover-up—the rampant sexual assault of both female and male service members. One frightening statistic: Women who've been sexually abused in military service have a higher incidence of PTSD than men who've been in combat. Read Ending military rape: The crusade of "The Invisible War," on Salon.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Does the sociopath treat the next wife better?
Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader: I always knew there was something wrong with my ex-husband, and friends and family did as well. There were lies, gambling, cheating, drug use, rehab 3 times, head games. He would drive erratically with our son and I in the car (even when our son was very little). He would speed up if there was a cat or other animal in the road. I would always completely freak out so he never ran one over when I was in the car, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did when I wasn't. (I could tell his counselor in rehab #3 knew there was more to his problems than just drug addiction.) He was clean for a long time and that's when I realized it wasn't t …
Sandusky and church verdicts put institutions on notice
On Friday, June 22, 2012, the verdicts were announced in two important child molestation trials that had been going on simultaneously in Pennsylvania: Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach of Penn State University, was convicted of 45 of the 48 child molestation charges against him. And, Monsignor William J. Lynn was found guilty of essentially contributing to a cover-up of sexual predators among Catholic priests in the archdiocese of Philadelphia. The priests had been molesting children for years. Lynn was the first high-ranking church official to be prosecuted for failing to protect children. The Philadelphia Inquirer has reported on both of these cases extensively. You …
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