Lovefraud Reader

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Catherine18." Other names have been changed. I am writing this after a pretty hard day. I have them a lot these days. I’ve made it a habit to tell people that I'm fine or ok. Before that, before everyone knew what happened, I just smiled, laughed and was a pretend version of myself so that I wouldn’t let on what I was suffering. I learned to protect the person hurting me from my mother's abuse of me. I am 42, and I have never not been abused. Ever. I’m now being honest. I am saying I’m not ok. People don't help you when you finally get honest. I have been betrayed, abandoned, pitied and had people talk be …

I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myselfRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Cecilia18." I didn’t marry “my” sociopath. I didn’t live with him. I didn’t have children with him. I’m not even sure you could call what passed for a relationship “dating.” Nevertheless, he messed up my life for several years. I’ll call him John. He was a local radio host, and I was a fan. I enjoyed listening to him banter with his producer/on-air sidekick and with his wife when she called in. Looking back, I don’t know why I liked him so much. He made a lot of jokes at the expense of others, including minorities and seniors. This is not my thing at all! But there was something about him: He was witty …

He never had those feelings for me — it was all a lie, an actRead More

Editor's note: This story was written by the Lovefraud reader, "marinapearl." I almost married a sociopath. He seemed like my perfect match at first: kind, funny, generous, respectful. We had everything in common. We moved much more quickly than I would have thought possible for me, as I am usually very cautious, but this was unlike any relationship I’d ever had. We were “soulmates,” “meant to be.” Before long we were engaged. Everything was going well, except for when we would argue. Every time we had the slightest disagreement, he would have a meltdown. Nothing was ever his fault, and he always managed to make me feel bad for saying anything. I just thought he was really sensitive, bu …

I almost married a sociopath, and to this day I don’t know what his motives wereRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Carol18." I’m a 62-year-old woman who left a sociopath husband three years ago. I went online to meet who I thought was my dream man. He was charming; the second date he said I will treat you like no other man has ever treated you before. That was the only true thing he ever said to me. He was romantic my Prince Charming, bought flowers, cards. Then after I fell in love, he tells me he had cancer, had a job as a cook (profile said chef) and financially secure. His car broke. He was sobbing, babe how will I get to work? Well now my savings is drained $3,200, helping him paid off title loans to help h …

After the sociopath: Courage is fear that said its prayersRead More

Editor's note: Three years ago, Lovefraud posted a story that we received from a reader whom we called, "Maura." Read it here: "After 30 years with a sociopath, she's now having the time of her life."  Maura is now about 70 years old and just sent Lovefraud an update. She included one of her recovery strategies, which she was graciously willing to share with Lovefraud readers. I wanted you to know that I gave up on "being friends" with the ex, and on trying to rescue the other victim (the main one; I'm sure there were others I did not know about). There have been many happy experiences in my new, free life. I am in a positive relationship, but I set strong boundaries and I resist any d …

Language habits to help me remember that my ex was abnormalRead More

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Emilie18." I met him in October on a dating site. He was 4 years younger than me – 59. His profile picture showed a rugged, good-looking middle aged man. His profile said he said he was ex military, ex truck driver, had a stroke and was losing his sight but wanting to travel. We chatted on the site for a week - he claimed he moved to my state to live with his brother after a nasty divorce 6 months before and had two married, adult kids living in Kentucky. He lived in a town 100 miles away. He wrote every day, then after a week, I gave him my number. He had a charming southern accent. I met him at a r …

He got everything he could from me, and then discarded meRead More