How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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I was bowled over; I really thought the guy was in love with me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader who goes by the name "Mary2014". I first met J when he came to fit a new door. I had recently moved house and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done. He was extremely polite and well mannered and appeared to be attentive to my specific needs. He visited regularly bringing catalogues to choose doors, glass, etc., and seemed very keen to make sure that I was happy with the work he did. Although I did feel quite vulnerable having a strange man in the house he soon managed to put me at ease to the extent where I gave him a key so he could come into the house to work when I wasn't there. I …

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My sociopathic boyfriend went from idealizing me to neglecting me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH TALE was submitted by the Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Kathleen Jones." I dated a sociopath for two years before I found out what he was. We met on an online dating site. He mirrored my shyness and interests. I was smitten with him right away. He was not pushy, but patient, and soon we were a couple. After three months of bliss, he would start arguments with me over nothing, but would manipulate me by crying and lying so that I always thought I was in the wrong. It was a long distance relationship, so we saw each other on the weekends. He went from idealizing me, to neglecting me. When I would bring up how I felt, he would say he felt pressured …

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My narcissistic father made it no secret that he preferred my siblings over me

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Editor's Note: This SPATH story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Isis2014” My father displays behaviors that are consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. He was emotionally abusive and neglectful to my mother, my siblings and me. He and my mother were married for 28 years. Months before their 28th anniversary, my mother discovered that my father had a 25 year old daughter. She is three weeks younger than my parent's second child. He hid his daughter's existence for 25 years. No one knew about her, not even his own parents. My father exploits people, especially ones who are shy and quiet. He has exploited all of his children and continues to exploit my brother to this day …

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I am getting more imprisoned daily

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Editor's Note: This Spath story was submitted by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Tina-Marie.” I was married to a Cluster B - sociopath, psychopath, narcissist. He left the children and me six years ago. He created a smear campaign against us before he left unbeknownst to us. This was so he would have a posse of people who would feel sorry for him. He took all the money and borrowed against our jointly owned home without my knowledge or consent. Since he left he has denied the payment of our daughter's school, while he pays for the son. He had our son kicked out of his beloved chorus where he sang for seven years. The dad floated a big check for the expulsion. He has hacked into …

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If his eyes could talk when he walked out, they would have said “this pond’s been fished out”

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Editor's Note: This Spath story was submitted by Lovefraud reader “Christina2014” I met him while I was working as a designer. He was homeless, penniless, hitchhiking through the country. He told me that his family disowned him and that he is a writer/activist. He introduced himself with a fake name at first, but later, when he realized that I was a worthwhile victim, he gave me his real name and decided to camp out in my life for a while. I helped him get his identifications (he told me he burned them out of protest, finding out years later that he skipped parole in Illinois), drove him to GE classes and helped him even to enroll into College. During the 14 years we were together h …

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I had a seven-year affair with my sociopath pastor

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Editor's note: This story was written by a reader whom we'll call "Carlotta." My story began rather sad. I met the P when I was almost 15. I am 22 now and had dated this man for seven years in a secret relationship that no one knew about. At that time (seven years ago), he was married for a year and was a pastor of a church. He began using his authority to get close to me and hang out with him more and one day approached me and told me that he is attracted to me and loves me, also mentioning that he feels so loved by me and no one else. He said his wife had cheated on him with someone else and he receives no love from her whatever and really loves me. I was confused at the time but …

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My ‘knight in shining armor’ turned out to be a sociopath

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Editor's note: The following was written by "Cajungirl." I found my "knight in shining armor" as a single mom of a six-month-old baby. My boyfriend was too good to be true to myself and my son. I fell in love quickly and soon life was easier and we settled into home life. Three years later I am pregnant with my second child and decided to marry the man I loved. He traveled 4-5 days a week so we decided I would be the at-home caregiver. My relationship changed abruptly when I began to feel isolated and out of touch. I had to fight for a part time job to have a social outlet. I was a fine dining server and enjoyed the easy money that was mine. I had to work only when my husband was …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My adopted daughter became her biological mother

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud recently received the following letter from a reader who posts as "Hannah4." Donna Andersen will offer comments at the end of her story. V and B join our family I retired from teaching two years ago. I have been married for 38 years to the same man and gave birth to two sons who are now grown. Sixteen years ago, my husband and I became guardians of two girls who are biological sisters (who attended the school where I taught). One of the sisters, V, joined our family when she was nine years old. One year later, her younger sister, B, who had just turned nine, also joined our family. At the time, I taught in a private Christian school where the philosophy was "it …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Lovefraud.com saved me from a sociopath

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call Jennette. Dear Donna, I saved myself from a sociopath thanks to your Lovefraud.com. Thank you very much, I can tell you now that you saved my life! You see, I was unlucky... He was my first boyfriend when I was 18 yrs old. He made me trust him with insane lies. He knew my weakness was not trusting people so easily. I was very vulnerable, kind, romantic and insecure. I broke up with him -- although I loved him -- because he cheated on me and my parents forced me to do this for my own good. He had haunted my dreams and mind for 10 years .The bond he had created couldn't break no matter how h …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: A tale of two sociopaths

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Editor's Note: This letter to Lovefraud was submitted by Lovefraud reader whom we'll call “Thomas."  Names have been changed. The First Tale: The girlfriend's ex Last we communicated I was interested in getting your advice on how to handle the ex-husband of my girlfriend and the terror he rained down upon her. You may remember he was a lawyer who knew how to deal with the law and use it to his advantage as a shield enabling him to be even more effective as a sociopath. The threats, the lying, the manipulation and the poison that he spread was unconscionable and designed to hurt and ruin the lives of others unless they did what he wanted. I was so taken aback by his unrelenting agg …

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