How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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My Story of Lies: His Lies to Me and the Lies I Told Myself

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Gaslit073168.” I met him in spring of 2014 through an online dating site. He was so honest in his profile (sarcasm now, in awe then) about being imperfect. Depression was his biggest flaw, in his eyes. He was sad because his kids live in Japan where he can only see them when he can financially manage to make the trip. It's been this way for a couple years because his now ex wife left him and decided to go home to her family in Japan. This wasn't the only reason he was depressed. He had brain cancer in 1998 that caused him to be legally blind in one eye, a huge bald patch across the back of his head and no tee …

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Judge throws kids in juvenile detention for not talking to father

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A divorce and child custody case in Oakland County, Michigan, has gotten so bitter that Judge Lisa Gorcyca has sent three children, ages 14, 10 and 9, to juvenile detention for refusing to see their father. The saga began five years ago, when Maya Eibschitz-Tsimhoni filed for divorce from Omer Tsimhoni. Both parents are originally from Israel, and the father had returned Israel. The Internet is buzzing over this one, and here are some stories. But reading them, I have absolutely NO IDEA whether the problem is the mother, the father, or both. We all know how well sociopaths can talk, lie, play the victim, and run a smear campaign. Probably the only way to really know who is at fault i …

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Something I Have Always Thought but Have Never Said-Celiac and Sociopaths

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Celiac Disease is an auto immune disease similar to diabetes.  People are genetically predisposed to have it, however certain risk factors can contribute to the onset of symptoms if you are genetically predisposed to CD like trauma or stress, among other things.  When I was growing up I was extremely healthy and strong.  I can only remember maybe one time being sick of any kind. My physical body was very strong and I ate like a pig!  I was in great shape because I danced competitively, racking up maybe 10-15 hours of training a week.  About 6 months of being in a relationship with a sociopath, I slowly started to have these odd symptoms.  The damage had already been done in the relationship a …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I still love the stupid jerk – what is wrong with me?

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman whom we'll call “Lila” she posts as "gruuvygirl." Like many of the women I see on this site, I stumbled here while searching for answers as to why my four-year relationship is so incredibly painful and why I keep going back for more pain and heartache. I feel like I have lost my mind. At the beginning, our relationship was awesome. I was soooo happy because I thought I had finally found “the one” — my soul mate! He was handsome, drove a Harley, liked to do the same things I do, he was friendly and everyone liked him (I thought), he had a house on the lake and a job, but mostly he seemed to adore me. But even at the beginning t …

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Reader spots Red Flags of Love Fraud in a woman he meets on a dating site

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Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Evan.” I'm coming to Lovefraud again because I'm pretty sure I have just met another sociopath through a religious online dating website. She seems too good to be true, so I think she is ... I'm just wondering what the best way to end the very short relationship would be. Red Flag Reminders: Charisma and Charm Sudden Soulmates Sexual magnetism Love bombing Blames others for everything Lies and gaps in the story Intense eye contact Moves fast to hook up Pity play Jekyll and Hyde personality Facts: - I contacted her via the dating website on Monday (4 days ago she already wants to meet and has told me what feels like too ma …

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‘Soaked in Bleach:’ Movie about Kurt Cobain’s death alleges his wife, Courtney Love, was involved

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Soaked in Bleach from Montani Productions on Vimeo. Editor's note: The following story was submitted by a Lovefraud reader. By Sellena I highly recommend you all check out a brand-new movie, Soaked in Bleach. It is a documentary about Kurt Cobain's death in early April, 1994. This movie presents compelling evidence that Kurt Cobain did not commit suicide, but was murdered. Tom Grant, the P.I. who investigated Kurt Cobain's death, and who is interviewed a lot in this movie, thinks Courtney Love had something to do with Cobain's death, if she didn't murder him herself. Grant first got involved in this case when he was initially hired by Kurt Cobain's wife, Courtney Love, days before Cobain's …

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Divorce Settlements-Strategically Giving Them What They Want: Financials with a Sociopath Part 5 of 5

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Part of a Now 5 Week Series: Week 1:  Running a Business with a Sociopath Week 2:  The Downfall of a Business with a Sociopath Week 3: Preparing for Divorce Week 4: Divorce and Aftermath Part A Week 5:  Divorce and Aftermath Part B Divorce and Aftermath Part B Now that I knew the business was indeed going bankrupt, I had to make a decision.  I knew by this time the only way to get what I needed was to make him think that he was getting what he wanted.  I knew that he would not stop the fighting in this divorce if he did not get what he wanted.  He would not care how much money we spent on attorney's fees and court.  Having someone to fight with was actually a bonus for him.  He liked the chao …

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Marriage to the narcissist was bad, but divorcing him was worse

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call “Mary-Louise.” I was married for 9 years to a man who is a malignant narcissist, very similar to a sociopath. I have 2 kids and we share legal custody. I thought being married to him was bad, but divorcing him is worse in a lot of ways. He had a sex and gambling addiction. He works as a fitness coach for adults and loved the automatic authority that gave him. He took full advantage of the women clients and had affairs with many of them. This was unknown to me until we separated. There were several women he had on-going affairs with over the course of 10 years. Regularly he would invite his fitness clients over to our house f …

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What makes a psychopath, and why they don’t change

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America's attention in recent weeks was focused on the Hollywood-worthy escape from prison by two convicted murderers Richard Matt and David Sweat. Matt is now dead. Sweat was shot, captured, and is now under guard at the Albany Medical Center in Albany, New York. The media have referred to both of these men a psychopaths. Looking at their crimes, I agree. Sweat was convicted of murdering Kevin Tarsia, Broome County Sheriff's Deputy, in 2002. But he didn't just shoot the sheriff. Sweat ambushed Tarsia in a town park, shot him multiple times and then ran him over with a car. Here's the story: David Sweat's brutal path to prison, on PressConnects.com. Richard Matt had a lifelong history …

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Alleged Charleston murderer Dylann Storm Roof: Perhaps a budding sociopath who never had a chance

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On the evening of June 17, 2015, Dylann Storm Roof sat in a Bible study group at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church, in Charleston, South Carolina, for 45 minutes. Then he pulled out a Glock .45 handgun and shot 10 people, killing nine of them. All of the victims were African-American. One was the pastor of the church and a state senator, Rev. Clementa Pinckney. Two others were also pastors. Six of the victims were women; three were men. Fourteen hours later, Roof, 21, of Eastover, South Carolina, was arrested and charged with the murders. Many people, from politicians to celebrities to men and women on the street, are decrying the mass killing as an indication of …

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