Some sociopaths make the "best" coaches. At least, that's what everyone thinks at the time. So during the athletic banquet at the end of each season, people will often spend more time applauding this beloved individual than they do the young players on the team. Even if those players just broke six individual records. Parents will send "thank you" cards and gifts by the dozen to this coach. Particularly if he or she's also charming, humble, and from the same hometown. They'll talk constantly for weeks and even months about how happy they are that this particular coach came into their child's life. How this person changed everything. Built confidence. Gave a sense of accomplishment. …
Florida sheriff’s officers accused of rigging child custody case
The Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson has written another article about corruption in the family court system. This time it's in Florida, where Broward Sheriff's Deputies David Benjamin and Jeff Alan Poole were charged with rigging a child custody case. Broward County Sheriff's deputies aiding Ponzi schemes, prostitutes and corruption, on Commdiginews.com …
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Political correctness and vulnerability to sociopaths
Mark Cuban, tech entrepreneur, star of the TV show Shark Tank, and owner of the Dallas Mavericks pro basketball team, sparked a firestorm on Twitter last week when he admitted to being a bigot. The firestorm was based on the sound bite: I know I'm prejudiced. I know I'm bigoted, in a lot of different ways. If I see a black kid in a hoodie on the same side of the street, I'm probably going to walk to the other side of the street. Some of those who lambasted Cuban ignored the continuation of his statement: If I see a white guy with a shaved head and lots of tattoos, I'm going back to the other side of the street. If I see anybody that looks threatening, chances are there's part …
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The Sociopath and His Dog
I'll start by saying that the "his" in my title comes from the fact that this story is about my sociopathic male ex. That being said, I'm sure many of you can think of women who fit this unique description of an "animal lover." So let's begin. My ex loves to tell people how much he loves dogs. He'll also say he loves horses and sheep and cows and chickens and all other sorts of farm and wild animals, but dogs are tops. And there's something really unique about the way a sociopath "loves" a vulnerable creature. It's confusing, wonderful, horrifying, and most often blindsiding. Sometimes, it's even used to shame others. Like me. You see, a couple years ago, I had a little Frenchie-bulldog …
The “Functional Female Sociopath”…..Good For Society?
According to various opinions, not all sociopaths are created equal. There are the "non-functional" sociopaths (i.e., serial killers) and "functional" sociopaths (i.e., successful sociopaths). The functional female sociopath uses her lack of empathy to annihilate those pesky male counterparts (or, frankly, anyone who gets in the way), paving the way for woman-kind. Yay them! Right? I mean, why can't functional female sociopaths be on the same playing field as functional male sociopaths? Well, they can be. And they are. The last time I checked, evil is still evil. You can put a dress suit and lipstick on it, or you can put starched collars and neckties on it, sociopathy is still a b …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: People will never understand I am married to a sociopath
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by reader whom we'll call “Juniper.” I have been married for 22 years and have five children. I realized the first year of our marriage that I had married a "psycho" but thought I could help him with my unconditional love and support. He is completely controlling, manipulative, abusive, selfish, and has never shown empathy or compassion to me or our children. He doesn't have relationships with his kids because he chooses not to bond with them. I stayed with him because I believed there must be some good somewhere in him, after all, he was a born again Christian, knew almost every verse in the Bible from memory and sometimes preached on …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Fluffing the pillow wrong
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the reader who calls herself "Allergic to Spandex." Other names have been changed as well. By the time my sociopath husband "The Dope" (now, thankfully, my ex) developed testicular cancer, I knew that he was not a "consultant," but a marijuana dealer who didn't even make much money at it. He explained this as noble guerrilla warfare in the fight to legalize marijuana, a cause I still agree with despite him. He claimed that the people he sold pounds of pot to made sure that it got into the hands of medical patients. This was probably a lie too, but it's how he brainwashed me when I was 18. There's cheatin' goin' on I knew that …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopath partner gave me HIV
Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader who calls himself "Fred." I bloomed late. At age 53 I grew tired of a lonely and celibate life, I finally admitted to myself and others I was gay. It didn't take long to find my first boyfriend who was a super sweet, moral guy, like myself, but after nine months it was apparent we weren't a match. Drawn to downtown guy Many months passed and I again was so lonely. I saw this guy at a downtown club. I'm not sure what the draw was. He was bald, slightly chunky but seemed to be the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. Funny now, because others tell me he's not attractive. I'll call him Adam. I tried to work up the courage …
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Faith After A Life With Sociopaths
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. When you've been entangled with sociopaths for a long period of time, few (if any) facets of your life are left untouched. Becoming a person of faith has shown me how deeply my upbringing has permeated my adult life. My sociopathic parents controlled my every move - dictating when I could bathe, eat, or sleep, what I could read, who I could be friends with (if any), what music I could listen to, what I could watch on TV. Depending on how volatile their mood was, I'd have to ask permission to speak. In her book Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman states "The dam …
Abuse in Britain’s boarding schools: One man’s personal perspective
Writer Alex Renton returned to his alma mater, Ashdown House, to help him write this report on the generations of boys sexually abused in Britain's boarding schools. Reporting on his own experiences at the boarding school attended by some of Britain's most powerful men, he talks about the existence now of a thriving area for counselors and therapists called Boarding School Syndrome — a private "survivors' group" only those with money seem to know about. Renton writes, “psychiatrists I have spoken to agree that, yes, while sexual and physical abuse is the headline grabber (and what makes criminal cases), real damage is done to children and adults by long-term psychological abuse. A child …
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