How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 4)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 4 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 Trying to make sense of the insanity: How could someone behave this way? At this point I was totally bewildered and completely devastated. Nothing at all made sense to me. I remembered all of the strange events that happened throughout our “relationship,” and I knew that they all tied together somehow, but even the events themselves were so bizarre, that my mind just could not make sense of them. I knew that she was …

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Recovery – parallel courses for moving forward

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What sociopaths do to us is unfair, coercive, exploitative and evil. In a just world, they would be held accountable. They would be forced to return what they took from us, and compensate us for the pain and suffering they have caused. They might even be prosecuted and imprisoned. But we do not live in a just world. We live in a world that is oblivious to the human predators among us. We live in a world where clueless people believe a convincing liar; the best performer wins and courts have neither the time nor the inclination to sort out the truth from the lies. For all of us who have been targeted, this adds insult to injury. We've been abused and exploited. We are damaged. Then because …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 3)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 3 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 - Part 2 The Incompetent Therapist After several years of scratching my head and trying to deal with my wife's odd behavior, and trying to deal with an obvious dysfunctional relationship with her highly manipulative teenage daughter, I finally sought the help of a therapist. At this point in the “relationship,” I had put many of the pieces together. I still did not know about sociopaths\psychopaths, or how these people behave and wha …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 2)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. This is part 2 of 4. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Read: Part 1 Early Bird Gets “The Worm” When we met, in late January of 2008, Jezabel's morning schedule was to report to the office at 6am, She said that she liked getting her work done while it was quiet. Her alarm would go off at 5am, and she would leave for the office by 5:45, to arrive by 6:00. From 6am until probably about 8:00am, there were no co-workers in the state government building at all. Most of the other workers started to report t …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My ex-wife, the sociopath (Part 1)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a man whom we'll call "Anthony." He believes his ex-wife is a sociopath. He tells his story in great detail, so it will be  serialized, appearing today and over the next three days. The story refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Meeting the Perfect Woman I met her through a mutual friend one evening at a local restaurant. I found her strikingly attractive, and we made a plan to have dinner the following week, which we did. I was “hooked” fairly quickly, and I remember thinking many times how I must have been the luckiest man alive to have this gorgeous and intelligent woman want to …

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Why are some people scared of us?

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While in the height of conflict with psychopaths or those with psychopathic features, sometimes, we scare people. I don't mean Halloween "scary costume" scary.  I don't mean "things that go bump in the night" scary.  No, I mean "take a look at yourself" scary.  There are those around us who will see us go through what we do, and back away, simply because they realize that what we are experiencing or have experienced is just too strange and horrible to handle. Maybe they don't understand.  Maybe they don't know what to say to us, as this is a special type of trauma.  Often, some of us give others a "pass" for those reasons.  That is perfectly understandable.  However, I believe that there are …

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60 Minutes show on Charles Cullen: A missed opportunity for education

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Editor's note: The following commentary was provided by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jennifer." Another example of the (gross) misrepresentation of  psychopathology / psychopathy in the media ”¦ The most recent episode of "60 Minutes" (which aired last Sunday, the 28th) contained two segments on Charles Cullen, a former nurse who is now considered to be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history.  (Cullen was a staff nurse in several New Jersey hospitals and it's now thought that he may have murdered an estimated 400 people, via lethal injection.)  His harrowing story is chronicled in the newly-published book, The Good Nurse:  A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder, by …

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Brain structure and violence

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On Tuesday Dr. Adrian Raine, a professor of criminology, psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, is coming out with a new book called The Anatomy of Violence: The biological roots of crime. Dr. Raine wrote an article in Saturday's Wall Street Journal about neurocriminology—using neuroscience to understand and prevent crime. The article highlights some of the latest research on the relationships between certain brain structures, psychopathy and criminal behavior. The Criminal Mind—Advances in genetics and neuroscience are revolutionizing our understanding of violent behavior as well as ideas about how to prevent and punish crime, on WSJ.com. …

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Brain scans show that psychopaths lack neural connections for empathy

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Researchers showed prisoners, who were diagnosed as psychopaths, images of people being intentionally hurt and observed their brain reactions on fMRI scans. Parts of their brains associated with emotional learning and moral decision-making showed reduced activity. Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on UChicago.edu.   …

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The truth about sex and sociopaths

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"Very erotic!" That's how a woman whom we'll call "Cathy" described the beginning of her relationship with "Matt." "Sex, sex, sex," she said, "and sweet whisperings in my ears." After a whirlwind romance, they married. Cathy eventually discovered that sex was all Matt really wanted. She found a duffel bag filled with hard-core porn. His sexual demands made her uncomfortable. He cheated. Yet whenever Matt did or said anything hurtful, he soon acted as if nothing had happened. Matt turned out to be callous, deceitful, manipulative, narcissistic, hostile, irresponsible, reckless and impulsive. In other words, he was a sociopath. Many people think that sociopaths are all deranged serial …

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