I am always fascinated by the way we use our thoughts and our language — both are extremely powerful tools, both have equally as much power to help us as to hinder us, depending on the way we use them. In the vast majority of cases, people have little idea of just how much control they actually do have over their experiences — and even less understanding about how to do something to positively influence how they're feeling. And you know the strangest thing? Most people are so acutely aware of what they don't want that they've forgotten what it is they do want — which is why so many remain stuck. Not so long ago I was working with a lady who'd had some pretty rough experiences. She'd alrea …
The importance of believing in ourselves
Back in August of 2010, I told my story of being defrauded by a sociopath as “star” of the premiere episode of Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, a TV show that aired on the Investigation Discovery network. Well, since that first exciting night, the show has probably aired 30 or 40 times. It aired in Australia. It aired in South America. On Friday, it aired on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Hey, I've finally been on Oprah! I never know in advance when the show is going to air—I only find out when I start receiving emails from people who see it and identify with my story. A couple of months ago I heard from a man who saw the show and was beginning to suspect that a woman in his life was using him fo …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similarities
Editor's Note: The Lovefraud reader “PressEject” has written several insightful Letters to Lovefraud about his involvements with sociopathic men. You can read them here: Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 1) Finding sanity after the sociopath (part 2) Pulled in by the child in the sociopath As a bisexual person, PressEject was most recently romantically involved with a woman who also turned out to be disordered. In this post, he compares the two experiences. By PressEject There was absolutely NOTHING in her emails that asked me to find with her (together) some kind of understanding or resolution. Instead it was like she was writing the script for everything, for …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Male and female sociopaths have remarkable similaritiesRead More
Investment banker thinks he deserves a second date
A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn't want to go again. She doesn't return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet. Read An investment banker's cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
An Invitation for A Miracle
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. An Invitation for A Miracle. This is the first in a series of 6 postings on spiritual healing that will attempt to Make Sense of these encounters with sociopaths and present the process that literally turns these painful experiences into Miracles of Healing. Most of us on this site know all about the feelings of shame, guilt, pain and suffering that are associated with an experience with a sociopath. This is the common bond that brings us together and helps build trust in these new relationships being formed in the Lovefraud community. The very idea that t …
Get Out Your Rainbow Colours!
Many months ago, a dear friend of mine sent me a card with these words on it: “You, whose day it is, get out your rainbow colours and make it beautiful!” Traditional Nootka Song I still have it sitting on my desk because it always makes me smile and, when I need it, gives me a bit of a jolt as well! It's come in particularly handy over the past few days because, for whatever reason, they've been just some of ”˜those' kind of days. I'm sure you know what I mean. They're the days when, no matter what, it just seems there's a storm cloud following — not necessarily in full storm mode, maybe just moody and threatening. Either way, there's a kind of heaviness and flat feeling that just sits th …
Pedophile’s wives can be the last to know
Almost seven years ago, Darlene Ellison's life was turned upside-down when her husband was arrested as an "inner circle" member of NAMBLA—the North American Man-Boy Love Association. She had no idea what he was doing. Read How Dorothy Sandusky could have been duped, on TheDailyBeast.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Pruning the dead wood from the trees of our lives
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I live in the woods, and what passes for a “yard” (I can't possibly call it a “lawn” with so little grass!) is pretty much in deep shade most of the summer due to the tall trees. Because of the deeply wooded environment, I've had to make a choice to have either trees or grass, but not both. I chose the trees. Many of the trees are different varieties of oak, some of which tend to shed the lower limbs as they grow taller and the lower limbs receive less sunlight. This self pruning of the trees benefits them by taking the limited resources of nutrients from the ground and moisture from the rains, and using it to grow taller and wider at the top where it r …
Why Me?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. My father is a sociopath. He is also a convicted serial killer who resides on Florida's Death Row. I idolized my dad as a kid and wanted to be just like him, but I could not. Life, I thought, had betrayed me and given me something so cruel that I could never trust again. I didn't believe that I could ever make sense of this experience. How could I possibly come to terms with having been raised by such a monster? How could I possibly find peace in my life after being victimized as a child and young adult? How could I come to terms with a question that I though …
BOOK REVIEW: Travis Vining writes about life with his serial-killer father and miracles
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Most of us who have tangled with sociopaths have stories that our friends and families find hard to believe. Yet despite what we've been through, we know that some of us have been through far worse. Travis Vining has one of those really bad stories. He's written the book. Perhaps someday we'll see the movie. Travis wrote a series of articles for Lovefraud back in 2008, which you can find in the Travis Vining Category. He will begin contributing articles again, starting tomorrow. Growing up with a sociopath Travis' father is a sociopath. But the man wasn't …
BOOK REVIEW: Travis Vining writes about life with his serial-killer father and miraclesRead More