How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I do not know my stepdaughter anymore

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader in Australia who we'll call “Lana.” All of the names below are pseudonyms. Everything had been quite on the Spath front for a while. But I have worked out over the past 3 years there is always something lurking, ready to rear its ugly head especially when there are children involved. Two weeks ago I received a call from Gary, a man that my ex-husband (Steve, the spath) worked for a year ago and ripped off. Gary knew where I was working, and being in the same industry, knew my boss. He asked my boss if I could call him a few months ago and we have been in touch since.  Gary told me Steve had constantly made threats on m …

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Young woman jailed after falsely accusing father of rape

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It's not a sensational case, but it says so much about sociopaths. In June, 2009, Emma Marrill, a young woman from Camberley, in the United Kingdom, accused her father Phillip Marrill, of raping her. Her father was arrested and held in jail for 22 hours, protesting his innocence. For six months, Emma told the police a “litany of lies” about the rape. Finally, she admitted that she made the entire story up. Her father was cleared, and Emma was charged with perverting the course of justice and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. Last week, the 21-year-old woman was sentenced to a year in jail. Interestingly, her defense lawyer told the court that Emma Marrill had antisocial pe …

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How to Eat an Entire Cow in Ten Minutes

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By Ox Drover If I told you that you had to eat an entire cow, do you think you could do it? How about if I told you that you had to eat an entire cow in only ten minutes? Do you think you could do it? “Holy cow! I can't do that!” you might say. Well, I think we all have our personal “cows” that we try to eat. Big jobs or big projects that we look at and say “Noooooo way, I can't eat all of that!” So having seen this particular “cow” as too big to swallow in one bite, we never even attempt to eat it. We just let it sit there in the middle of our lives, using up our resources, taking up space, and growing bigger by the day! Every time we look at this “pet cow,” it is bigger and bigger and …

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Dumb Sociopaths

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Contrary to a prevailing myth, sociopaths are really no smarter than the average individual”¦probably dumber. Sure, a good one can dupe you, but as I've written elswhere, this is no great shakes, as most of us can dupe each other if that's our goal. That's because we enter relationships risking trust and faith in each other, which makes the exploitation of our trust and faith really easy. It takes no genius or particularly smart, crafty person to exploit this trust and faith. It's as easy to do as it's wrong. And so, most sociopaths aren't really that clever, or ingeniously bright. Most make messes not only of others' lives, but their own too. Many end up in jail, and those who don't ar …

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Sociopath, psychopath – Lovefraud’s proposal for naming the disorder

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One reason why many of us found ourselves victimized by sociopaths is because we did not know that dangerous personality disorders existed. We may have heard of crazy people, but we assumed that we could spot them because they looked and talked crazy. We may have heard of psychopaths, but we assumed they were serial killers or some other type of obviously hardened criminal. We did not know that people existed who could convincingly proclaim their love, cry tears of sadness, and make glowing promises for the future, all simply to exploit us. We did not know that these people were called sociopaths and/or psychopaths. In my opinion, a big reason for the public's unawareness of, and …

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Becoming aware of our strengths

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By Ox Drover I got to thinking today about being stronger now than I was prior to the last experience with the psychopaths in my life ”¦ but when I really got to thinking about it, I realized I have actually always been as strong as I am now, I just didn't know it or take advantage of it. One of the reasons that humans are able to work horses, mules and oxen to pull heavy loads is because the beasts we use for our labor do not realize their strength. They don't realize the absolute brute force power they have over us. We “control” them because they allow it. Why do they allow it? The answer is because they are not aware of the strength and power that they have, so they allow us to ta …

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Review of ‘Love Fraud’ on the Psychopathy Awareness blog

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Like us, Claudia Moscovici had her run-in with a psychopath, one that almost destroyed her marriage. Since then, like many of us, she has thoroughly researched this destructive personality disorder. She started a blog called "Psychopathy Awareness," and wrote two books: a novel called The Seducer, and an upcoming nonfiction book called Dangerous Liaisons. In her review of my book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, Claudia writes, "I didn't think I could learn much more about the subject, but Donna's book proved me wrong." Read the entire review on Psychopathy Awareness. Love Fraud is available in the Lovefraud Store. …

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LETTERS TO LOVERAUD: I will work on whom not to trust or love

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Editor's note: Here is Part 2 of yesterday's article, “Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I'm fine,” written by a reader who posts as “Jen.” Okay, so I had a crappy childhood, but I survived it. I came out of it okay. I have had what I now think might have been sociopaths in my life from time to time as friends, lovers, or family. At the time, I had no clue what they were, but I did know they were screwed up. I quickly rid parasites from my life after I figured out they were just out to use people. I was strong, and I was no way going to be surrounded by meanness. So, 2 years after my divorce, I ran into an ex from 20 years prior. I was down in the dumps when I met …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Almost everything under the sun happened to me, and I’m fine

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Editor's note: Lovefaud received the following letter from a reader who posts as “Jen.” I think something must be wrong with me. Wait, I KNOW something is wrong with me, but I don't think it is all that bad.  I think it is the 'bad' people in the world that make it that way. Part 1- My Screwed Up Childhood! I went through a lot of abuse as a child. Not from my parents, but from the people around them. I do blame my parents for putting their children in situations that were wrong. My parents split when I was about 3 and my younger brother was almost 1. My dad and I were real close, and it was very hard for me when they split up. My dad was in his early 20s and a partier. My mom cou …

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