A Cambridge professor, Simon Baron-Cohen, has written Zero Degrees of Empathy: A new theory of human cruelty. In this review, the author explains the professor's ideas. Read Why a lack of empathy is the root of all evil, on Independent.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Letter to a sociopath
I write you this letter to explain something to you. You have a serious personality disorder whose very symptoms, paradoxically, may leave you unaware that you have it. Or”¦you may be “aware” of your disorder in an “intellectual” sense but, consequent to your disorder, you lack appropriate alarm and shame over its expression. People who do not have your disorder, if they were told they had it (and of its nature), would feel extremely unnerved, shamed, to hear this feedback. You, on the other hand, neither feel, nor react, with expected levels of uneasiness to learn of your disorder. Your reactions, expressing either calm indifference and striking unperturbedness, or, alternatively, …
If someone is violent, they are capable of worse
By Ox Drover Recently on Lovefraud there have been several people who have talked about how their ex-significant others have been violent, and yet they still have strong feelings for these (mostly) men. The readers find it difficult to go “no contact” and refuse to listen to the pleas of these guys to get back with them. Statistics show that more women are hurt or murdered at the time that they are breaking up with someone who has formerly been violent than at any other time. Breaking up with someone who is physically violent can be dangerous. Staying with someone who has proven they are physically dangerous and capable of violence is more dangerous. Here are stories about an ex-cop …
Letters to God, by Jane Pinney
Is the guy trying to pick you up really a soldier?
Cases of wannabes pretending to be military heroes are rampant. This article offers some tips on spotting if the soldier is really a fake. Be sure to read the comments for additional perspective. An officer, gentleman and a total fake!!! on MyWingmanDiana.Military.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. Here's more info on Lovefraud.com: Is he or she military? …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get out
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who we'll call “Laurel.” She married Frank as a teenager and had five children with him. Her oldest, Amy, is 19 in the story and married to Matt. Her son, Andy, is 14. Names have been changed. I knew I was leaving. I had been plotting for months, since my first few tastes of TRUE freedom and being around normal people, that I was getting myself and my children out. I had been saving and accumulating paperwork, solid proof of income for months. Keeping it safe and duplicating everything. One morning I walked into Frank's bedroom to give him his coffee and do whatever bidding he had in mind on his IPad, when it occ …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: None of us stood a chance if I didn’t get outRead More
Once we know what they are–we must maintain No Contact
By Ox Drover One of the themes that seems to run throughout the stories of many of, if not most of, the people who have had experiences with psychopaths is that we have either had repeated episodes of being abused by the same psychopath, even after we saw their dishonesty, or had episodes of being sucked into the webs of multiple psychopaths. Or, we have both of these—multiple episodes with multiple psychopaths. Most of the people I have known who were formerly victims of psychopaths are not stupid. In fact, some of the smartest, most accomplished people I know are former victims, and have been repeatedly victimized by one psychopath after finding out that this person was dishonest and …
Once we know what they are–we must maintain No ContactRead More
Pain connections, emotional and physical
New research shows that emotional and physical pain draw responses from the same regions of the brain. Read To the brain, getting burned, getting dumped feel the same, on CNN.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Sociopaths change our beliefs about being human
Lovefraud received the following e-mail recently from a reader, who we'll call “Iris.” She was married for 20 years to a man who she now realizes is a sociopath. I avoid talking to my ex-husband as much as possible, but he is 4 months behind on court ordered spousal support as I am in school getting my business degree and working. He has to pay $600 a month for 3 years. The court also ordered the support to pay me back for $11,000 I had to put into our house and property to make it "sellable" after he left me in the dust and moved to another state. He left me with 5 acres, a house falling apart, a barn with code violations, and our 3 family dogs. I went into survival mode and got it all fix …
Being a “judgmental person” is more than okay–it is wise
By Ox Drover Many people think of the term “judging others” in a negative way. I think a lot of this comes from the Biblical admonition found in which Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1). Matthew 7:2-5 says, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” What Jesus was condemning here was hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others. I frequently hear others say, “Well, I'm not judging him ”¦” when they talk about how someone they know has done something that is less than morally upright. When I was a young person in this community of mostly Scots-Irish Protestants, people were fr …
Being a “judgmental person” is more than okay–it is wiseRead More