All across America, protests against the death of George Floyd while in police custody have devolved into riots, looting, arson and vandalism. I am willing to bet that many of the rioters are sociopaths, or followers of sociopaths. Atlantic City, New Jersey, where I live, was targeted. I went for a walk on the Boardwalk last Monday morning, as I do once or twice a week. I passed multiple stores that were boarded up — one of them after windows were smashed. The Boardwalk has been desolate since March, ever since the coronavirus closed all the casinos, restaurants and stores. Things have been eerily quite, but nothing was boarded up. That all changed when rioters came to Atlantic City — sma …
How to protect yourself from narcissists
[youtube_sc url=" https://youtu.be/qjzDR6XCFWU"] Narcissists are, by definition, self-centered, nasty users with no empathy — although they can often hide their miserable personalities, at least for a while. Unfortunately, millions of them live among us. How can you protect yourself from narcissists? That's exactly what counselor Mandy Friedman explains in her webinar on June 25, 2020, called, Tools for navigating narcissists and other manipulative people. Mandy knows about dealing with narcissists both from personal experience, and through working with survivors in her private practice. She will teach you to: Identify narcissists and manipulators Understand how manipulators c …
Book review: How three girls survived their psychopathic mother
If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood, by Gregg Olsen Review by Emilie18 Disturbing and heartrending, If You Tell is a survivor’s story of absolute evil at the hands of a psychopathic mother, Michelle “Shelly” Knotek —and the freedom and justice that her three daughters, Nikki, Sami, and Tori, risked their lives to fight for. This book paints a vivid portrait of a narcissistic psychopath and goes into astonishing detail of how this woman operates and thinks, how she picks her victims, how she controls them and how she ultimately causes their demise. It may push more than a few buttons for Lovefraud readers, but it impressed me as b …
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Parental alienation: My son’s sociopath father turned him against me
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story about parental alienation from a reader whom we'll call, Jennifer20. Well I honestly wouldn’t know where to begin. People are always telling me I should write a book. Maybe one day I will, but I will start here. I was 17 and I was pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 months. My mother felt bad for me and my father was completely ashamed and embarrassed. I was young, naive, and really, really stupid. I didn’t realize the sociopath the father of my child really was until it was too late. I was about 8 months pregnant, scared, and in a very vulnerable state. I make decisions against my family’s advice and soon found myself regretting all …
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Childhood trauma inflicted through narcissistic families continues into adulthood
by Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS "These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them." —Rumi Let us say in the present moment you are a 45-year-old man or woman who experienced childhood trauma. You may have children you are raising and an array of responsibilities. Perhaps you have a university education or have been on a quest for self-improvement. On a less positive note, let us say that you are struggling emotionally. You know that there is something wrong with your spouse, but you doubt your gut instincts. You believe you are too hard on your spouse and are being overly judgmental. However, you understand that the spouse mistreats you often, but you never connected the word a …
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Signs of a sociopath: love bombing and refusing to pay
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Christie20. After dating a narcissist for 7 years, I remained single after we broke up for three years. I decided it was time for me to date again. A doctor in northern California found me on my Instagram account. I am the type of person that gets a generous amount of messages from men, however I usually won't respond. For some reason, I read and responded to this man. Something about him had me intrigued. We decided to meet when he came to Orange County for a medical conference. He immediately started love bombing me. He spoke about how he was the greatest, smartest doctor in the E.R. He would …
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A story of classic sociopathic betrayal: ‘The most vile person I ever met’
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story of sociopathic betrayal from a reader who posts as "Mary2." I met him a year ago. He was charming, kind, and seemed so perfect. He told me he was separated and that his wife was living in another state. We did everything together. Then, one day, she returns. I asked why? He said to get more things. She was actually going back and forth between her mother’s residence and here. I continued to believe him. He met my girls, my mom, my sister, my co-workers. All thought he was wonderful. He told me his wife was crazy. When she kept returning he said she just had Dr appointments because she had cancer. I asked to see the separation p …
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To recover from the sociopath, first recognize the depth of your pain
UPDATED FOR 2020 A Lovefraud reader who posts as "LadyA" sent Lovefraud the following email. At the end, I suggest how she can recover from the sociopath. I've spent a lot time thinking about my experience with my spath, and how it affected me and the people around me. I have read article after article, story after story. I now fully understand what spaths do and how they do it but I didn't understand why I don't feel any better about it. What was I missing? When I left my spath it was a fairly dramatic experience. He had just been sentenced to serve jail time on the weekends for an obstruction of justice charge. My mom flew into town and in one swoop we packed up everything we could …
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High school boyfriend pursues her, then abuses her
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call, Carrie20. We met in high school, he was the cool new guy, the mysterious guy. We started hanging out, then we started sleeping together, I got pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion I didn't want to so we stopped talking. We were both seniors at this time so by the time I had our oldest we were already out of high school. Life went on, I and my daughter ended up moving 7 hours away, it was then he decided he wanted to be a family. I kept turning down his proposal for a few years until one day I thought, why not? We got married, had another daughter and moved back to our hometown. We took out a …
Recovering from a sociopath by living your life
UPDATED FOR 2020 You're in meltdown. You've come to the conclusion that you've been involved with a sociopath, and that everything this person told you was a lie, from the details of his or her life to the proclamations of undying love. Now it all makes sense. Now you understand how the unbelievable headiness of the whirlwind romance (love bombing) morphed into the silent treatment, unexplained absences and unprovoked rages (devalue and discard). You have discovered the truth: The person you fell in love with never existed. Everything you saw and experienced was an act designed to exploit you. You are crushed. Overwhelmed by disappointment and betrayal, the emotional pain is …