How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopath Survivor Journal, Part 1: When Evil says ‘I do’

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call Olivia19, shared her personal reflections, in a stream-of-consciousness style, on her experience with a disordered husband. We’ll publish sections of her journaling over several installments. When Evil says “I do” Whether it be Sean, John, Gord, Thomas, Linda or Sue, evil takes on many names. Many faces. They live their lives with lies, half truths, twisting of words and circumstances, manipulation, financial chaos, deceit or out and out lack of kindness and respect. They abuse. They often have lived a second life for years. Suddenly you find yourself living the "common" story. Your marriage is plagued with those hurdles and roadblocks t …

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Meditation on a devastating experience with a sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Barbara19. Are you ready for the rain? I recently went through a gut wrenching experience. I have not moved completely through the storm, however I am learning to dance in the rain. Before, I would hide in a cave to escape the feeling of wet clothes and dripping hair on my skin. If I couldn’t find a cave, I would pull out my umbrella, which was as large as a carnival top – yes, the red and white stripped one with the red center flag – I was so used to my umbrella I forgot it was there, just like the white elephant who sat in my living room for 14 years. Who wouldn’t want a cute elephant as a conti …

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Children with a sociopath — do you stay or do you go?

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Finally figuring out, after years of marriage and a couple of kids, that your partner is a sociopath, is a good news/bad news situation. The good news: You are not crazy. You were not imagining things and you were not overreacting. There is a bona fide, medical reason for the insanity you have been enduring — your spouse has a serious personality disorder. The bad news: Now that you know what the problem is, you need to figure out what to do about it — and all of the options are difficult. I'm writing this blog in response to the post in the Lovefraud Forum submitted by "Gccc," called 16 years, 2 children later, my life imploded. A death of sorts. Following is what she wrote. The Vo …

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John Martin Hill scams woman for $80,000 – just his latest love fraud victim

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Here we go again — another online love fraud case. John Martin Hill was arrested in Tennessee last week, accused of taking $80,000 from a Georgia woman he met on Match.com. But apparently, she was just the most recent victim. Police in Gwinnett County, Georgia, are talking to detectives in four other states — Virginia, Delaware, Maryland and New Jersey — about dating scams he allegedly pulled there as well. Hill had convinced the Georgia woman that he was a millionaire and in love with her. On the day they met in person, they agreed to get married within the week. The woman gave him $80,000, and Hill disappeared. Man accused in online love scam connected to crimes in multiple states, on …

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Married to a sociopath at 16 and living a lie for 29 years

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Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ellen19." I got married at 16 to a guy who was supposed to be a football star. He acted like he was very moral — never lying, never carousing. He was supposed to have had a 3.89 grade average. So popular, smart and moral — his family kept backing him up, and the occasional neighbor would come by to tell me how lucky I was. Fast forward 29 years. I finally divorce him because for the 15 years he was living off me, he had money but he refused to pay bills or provide food. I weighed 83 pounds and he weighed 220. Once I got away from him I found out he casually had sex almost daily and he was giving me H …

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Gender identity: fun and games for psychopaths

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One of the issues raging through the political landscape these days, stirring up passions on the left and the right, is the Equality Act, passed by the United States House of Representatives on May 17, 2019. Proponents of the law generally say that everyone should be treated the same, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Objections to provisions of the law are often based on opponents' views on biology or religious convictions. But this law should also be evaluated in the context of the millions of psychopaths living among us, who I believe will have a great time exploiting it. And that's what Lovefraud's research — highlighted below — indicates. What the Equality Act s …

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Superhero creator Stan Lee allegedly a victim of elder abuse

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In real life, superheroes need to watch out for sociopathic predators, just like the rest of us. Stan Lee, the creator of Marvel Comics characters, including all the Avengers, like Iron Man, Spider Man and the Black Panther, was allegedly subjected to elder abuse by the man who was supposed to be his business manager. Keya Morgan was arrested in Arizona on Saturday, May 25, 2019, for elder abuse. He was charged with theft, embezzlement, forgery or fraud against an elder adult, and false imprisonment of an elder adult. Police say Morgan stole more than $262,000 from autograph sessions Lee did a year ago. Police also say Morgan took Lee from his home to a condo where "Morgan had more …

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Australian love fraud victim released after 6 years in Cambodian prison

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Yoshe Ann Taylor, a mother of two and former kindergarten teacher from Australia, thought she found love on the Internet. She communicated throughout 2013 with "Precious Max," who said he was a successful South African businessman selling Cambodian arts and crafts. Actually, Precious Max was a con man and drug dealer. When he invited Yoshe to visit him in Cambodia, he sent her home with a knapsack full of arts and crafts "samples" — and two kilos of heroin sewn into the lining. Yoshe was arrested at the Phnom Penh airport and charged with drug trafficking. Despite protesting that she was a victim of love fraud, she was convicted and sentenced to 23 years in prison. Precious Max, who w …

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The sociopath got me so trauma bonded, embarrassed and defeated that I said yes to his demands

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Charlotte19." Names and details have been changed. It was blind love. Yes, actual blind love. In 2016, as a widowed mom to three boys for 13 years and true empath, having run non-profits for nearly 25 years, I was ready, now that boys were young men, to explore real adult committed relationships. I’d recently ventured into online dating and even met a charming British beekeeper, who upon learning was “shockingly into polyamory,” I had placed in the “friends only” category. Having just lost my 6 figure job due to non-profit board politics, I walked into that all years high school reunion at the age of 54... …

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Book Review: Why humans are both virtuous and violent

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The Goodness Paradox: The strange relationship between virtue and violence in human evolution, by Richard Wrangham Review by Donna Andersen The central premise of this fascinating book is that humans — Homo sapiens — are domesticated primates, and this accounts for our ability to be both incredibly altruistic and incredibly brutal. The author, Richard Wrangham, is a professor of biological anthropology at Harvard. In making his argument, he reviews thousands of years of evolution of both humans and other species. This book is a fascinating look at where we came from and how our evolution affects our behavior. Philosophers, religious leaders and ordinary people have debated the nat …

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