How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Lovefraud reader tries online dating, spots warning signs, dumps the guy

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Marjory18." When I got involved with a bad person last year I wrote in to you with my story. I have been committed to reading stories, articles etc on your Lovefraud site. All I can say is thank goodness for your site and the info you provide. I had another online date recently Signs were there.  My mama raised me right (was told to me before) Super charming Tons of compliments Lots of sexual talk (on the first date?) We seemed to have a lot in common (really? that much) Heartfelt and deep conversations (on his part) That he studied psychology (was told that before - is that …

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Are you “too sensitive,” or is your partner a sociopath?

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You're too sensitive! As I think back about my life and my unwitting marriage to a sociopath, a phrase haunts and repeats like an old-time broken record, “You’re too sensitive.” For decades, I believed that hearing this phrase should trigger self-reflection and attempts at self-improvement. If I’m “too sensitive,” the underlying assumption is that I should work to become “less sensitive.” I believed this because this is what I’d been taught as a child, and it was reinforced through my adult life by two people I loved and respected at the time—my father and my now ex-husband. Yet, now I believe that hearing this phrase repeatedly by key people in one’s life should trigger another type of …

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How one guy’s recent girlfriends meets all of the 10 Red Flags of Love Fraud

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Trevor18." I came across your work after I spent about two months in the craziest relationship I've ever experienced. The relationship and how it abruptly ended left me feeling confused and then I was compelled to seek answers. I just didn't know what to do. Then I stumbled upon Cluster B personality disorders and eventually I found your list of 10 signs of dating a sociopath. 1: Charisma/Charm I first met this girl at her daughter's birthday party in May of 2017. After a brief introduction, she approached me frequently during the party and it felt extremely easy to talk to her. She seemed to be …

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Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz — psychopath, psychotic or traumatized?

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Another school shooting. Last week, Nikolas Cruz, 19, shot up his former school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida. He killed 17 people and wounded 14 more. In the initial reporting about the incident, none of the students who knew Cruz were surprised. They feared him and mostly stayed away from him. The New York Times reported: "A lot of people were saying that it would be him," the student told WFOR-TV. "They would say he would be the one to shoot up the school. Everyone predicted it." Why would the entire school population predict that Cruz would grab a gun and kill people? The kids knew about his rants and fascination with violence. The Washington Post reported …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 30: Celebrate

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/DA7mgTBLiv8"] Let’s go party on days that end in Y, drink Russian, drive German, wear Italian and kiss French! Friends, if you are expecting some guidance on this subject, I might not be the right person. The final practice of our 30-Day self-love and healing journey is about rewarding yourself. It’s about rewarding the process, and not the outcome. Following up from the previous session on failing, this brief visualization exercise once again redefines failure, an act that is not about falling, but about getting up. Rewarding yourself is something you can do consistently to help yourself get up and rise up. This exercise also draws parallels bet …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 29: FAIL

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/cTC1oH0HTig"] Another four letter F word you might think, and you are quite right! We learned about FINE and it’s quite fine to fail, since failure is the First Attempt In Learning. If you define it as anything else, it may be a misconception. We have been programmed to perceive failure as a negative experience, however, this practice redefines this word and encouraging us to fail - fail today, fail tomorrow and fail over and over, because every time you fail, you get one step closer to your dream! Open up your dream journal and decide to fail for each dream. If you don’t fail, someone else will hire you to work on their own dreams, fail for them, so …

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My heart breaks for my three beautiful daughters who are no longer part of my life – Part 4

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Editor's note: Following is a series of letters sent by a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Grace18." Other names are also changed. Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4. As a woman, having been involved on the sidelines with women of many age groups for decades, who were victims of abuse, I found that the one group, constantly being forgotten was the "older" generation. So many of these women, were the mothers....the grandmothers....the aunts, who carried the work load and the child-rearing in dignity, while holding onto their secrets. Because I had such a variety of friends covering ages above me and coming up behind me, the stories existed with that silence. There were no terms …

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Are highly empathetic people particularly attracted to the calm, confidence exhibited by sociopaths?

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The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between: Part B As I mentioned last week, I recently read the book The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between by Dr. Abigail Marsh, Associate Professor of Psychology and Interdisciplinary Neuroscience at Georgetown University. Her book sparked some “light-bulb moments.” I shared the first two last week, and I am sharing the third and fourth light-bulb moments this week. For those who read last week’s post, you might want to skip directly to light-bulb moment number three, below. (Note: Dr. Marsh and many researchers refer to these disordered individuals as 'ps …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 28: VAKS

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/NsHBjPwT9nY"] Did you VAKS this morning? If not, you have probably missed an opportunity to get one step closer to your goal or dream. Many successful people use similar exercises to achieve great results as part of their mental conditioning. Watch the brief session to learn about VAKS and how you can integrate it into each and every day to see changes in your life. Exercises like this would probably take only 5 minutes, but it is so important to make them as part of your daily routine. Plan your day to allow enough time for yourself, otherwise things will get in the way and you will realize you haven’t even spared a second of your day to look y …

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Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 27: TIME

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[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/O8a3UExwFGc"] For some TIME stands for Tears In My Eyes, and for some others it’s a Triumphant, Innovative Meaningful Experience. Time may be a noun for you and a verb for me. It depends who is using it and how, but one thing we all know for sure is that time is FREE for all of us, and it is the most priceless thing. Let me reveal a secret, if you are reading this sentence, you are wasting five seconds of your time, but…you are wasting it wisely. This quick visualization exercise will help you understand how you can become the pilot of the time. We all know that time flies, but not many of us get ready to take off our jets and enjoy that extraordinary f …

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