[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/Aj0jHyW20ek"] I never seem to get lucky with orchids. Maybe I water them too much or put them in a wrong place, but they don’t seem to have that long of a life with me. As I look at the beautiful blooms of yesterday here on my desk, I wonder what I could do to nourish them to make them last longer, live longer and serve longer. Devices need power, so when they are out of juice, we plug them to a nearest power point. What do we, humans do when we run out of energy? How do we recharge ourselves? To understand this phenomenon we are going to learn where we get energy from in the first place. This visualisation exercise takes us on a journey with a little s …
Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 23: BELIEVE
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/8tEVP4emVTI"] How do we get to believe in anything? If I tell you the world is flat instead of being round shaped, would you believe me? Why not? You have not seen the world from a distance to prove to yourself that it’s round and we walk and live on a flat surface. Conditioning, this is what makes us believe in things or people. We have been conditioned to believe things are a certain way so we start believing in some theory, in people and things. Scientific research, media, parents, peers and anyone we may come in contact with are able to condition our thinking to believe in certain things or to think a certain way. Looking back, you may feel that y …
Self-Love and Healing Journey Day 22: EMBRACE
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/P3Y5p-BHiv8"] What happened when my parents came across to my crazy youtube videos? They got last minute tickets to check on me from London. And what happened to the 30 day Love & Healing series you ask? It turned into more like a 45 day Love & Healing! This however does not mean that you will be healing slower. All that matters on this journey is the understanding that it only takes one person to change your life – You. You are in charge of yourself and you Must take personal responsibility. Either you run that problem or the problem will run you - there seems no other way. So, if you are reading this post, it’s never late to start taking res …
My heart breaks for my three beautiful daughters who are no longer part of my life – Part 1
Editor's note: Following is a series of letters sent by a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call "Grace18." Other names are also changed. Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4. Every single day I pray for hope in reaching my oldest child — a classic victim — a target! It is late at night, again while I try to drag my brain into numb-darkness, where I cannot think when I lie down to sleep. It does not work, for when I say my prayers about my (3) daughters being able to finally "wake-up" & save themselves, the tears roll down my cheeks and the nightmares begin. Three beautiful, happy daughters — 11, 10 & 6, when their Dad left to "find himself", 32 yrs ago. The oldest one, now a …
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Does sensitivity to others’ fear make some of us easily manipulated by sociopaths?
The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between: Part A Recently, I finished reading the book The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between by Dr. Abigail Marsh, Associate Professor of Psychology and Interdisciplinary Neuroscience at Georgetown University. Her book sparked some “light-bulb moments” that I wanted to share. The first two are below. The third and fourth will follow next week. Dr. Marsh and many researchers refer to these disordered individuals as 'psychopaths.' In my 2015 book, I referred to the same individuals as 'sociopaths.' Psychopaths and highly altruistic people differ on how they …
Does sensitivity to others’ fear make some of us easily manipulated by sociopaths?Read More
How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselves
On Quora.com, people can post questions for others to answer. Here's one question that was posted: How do psychopaths behave as children, especially around other children their age? So far, 13 people have answered the question — most of them self-identifying as psychopaths. The responses are fascinating. Here's an example: I was independent, yes. Behaved very well around my parents and other figures of authority, because behaving well meant that I could get away with more if I were caught. I stole, lied, manipulated “friends” into giving me what they want, made threats, threw violent tantrums, and for whatever reason enjoyed shouting at the neighbor’s dog and stepping( or at least trie …
How psychopaths behave as children — described by the psychopaths themselvesRead More
Sociopaths, information and power — what you need to know
I clearly remember the words of my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery: "Information is power." Sociopaths don't really interact with others — they look for ways to exert power and control over the rest of us. Information, Montgomery understood very well, gave him the ability to manipulate, deceive and exploit me and others. Let's take a close look at how sociopaths acquire and use information at various stages of a romantic relationship. Advance preparation If you're looking for romance online, you've probably heard about how to protect yourself when you meet an online date in person. But what's more important is protecting yourself when you create your profile. When s …
Sociopaths, information and power — what you need to knowRead More
Married 10 years only to find out he has a personality disorder
Red flags: he love bombed me and rush me into moving to his state. Sold my home and rental properties. Red Flag: shortly after getting married he quit his job and worked P/T living off interest earning from the owner finance sale of his home. AND his mother was constantly buying him things and giving him money. (RED FLAG?) Two years married and an affair with younger girl. He begged forgiveness and said he doesn't know what wrong with him. He admitted to using Meth and had been doing so in a low dose each day in order to function. I took him to holistic doctor, as he didn't want any counseling. He withdrew — bed and couch ridden for almost 4 weeks. RED FLAG: he was miraculously c …
Married 10 years only to find out he has a personality disorderRead More
After being targeted by a sociopath, self-blame is natural, but misguided
My motivation for writing "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" and Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood was multifaceted, including to help myself and others understand and heal. Understanding and healing is an ongoing process, and I am always learning. Self-blame and victim-blaming are common. Many involved with sociopaths experience self-blaming and are also the target of “victim-blaming.” It’s bad enough when someone we thought cared deeply for us gives us little sympathy and says things like, “How could you have been so naive?” “How did you cause this?” “How could a smart person be so stupid?” …
After being targeted by a sociopath, self-blame is natural, but misguidedRead More
Once I was groomed to be compliant; now I’m reclaiming my own life
By Eleanor Cowan I picked up my sweet, chubby grandson and cuddled him in my arms. He’d reached up to me and, thrilled to respond, I held him close. But ah, a colorful object on the floor beckoned, and instantly, he wanted down. Wriggling only once and issuing a single sound, he found himself back on the wool carpet crawling towards a plastic lamb-shaped cookie cutter. It claimed his full attention. With no hesitation, he’d signaled his wish and I honored it. Simple as that. Not so in my childhood. Responses to me were, “What do you want now?," "Go away," "Get lost," or, "What a pain in the behind.” So today, to say no when I mean no, or yes when I mean yes, without compromising m …
Once I was groomed to be compliant; now I’m reclaiming my own lifeRead More