How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Jail employee who had sex with an inmate calls him a ‘sociopath’

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Jill Curry, a former employee of the Washington County Jail in Hillsboro, Oregon, was convicted of having sex with an inmate and sentenced to more than four years in prison. After the sentencing, Curry released a statement calling the inmate, a "sociopath." "He made me feel like I was good," she wrote. "Most of the time, I felt like I was in a trance. Like there was no reality around me." Third jail worker had sex with same inmate, says convicted ex-employee Jill Curry, on OregonLive.com. Link sent by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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Abusers are hiding behind S&M

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernadette." In early 2012, I met a self-described strong alpha male on a dating site. His background was very impressive a vice president at a large IT firm, author, beautiful home, appeared educated, wonderful sense of humor. He would draw you in, he was what I thought I was looking for, what I thought I needed. Our early phone conversations would last for hours and the text messaging was never ending. He was a protector, he would always be a gentleman, keep me safe, what girl would not want that. I fell for him, it seemed like love. What I thought was the best day of my life, became my hell. My …

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CNN reporter calls ISIS a ‘sociopathic death cult’

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Yesterday WNYC public radio host Brian Lehrer Show interviewed CNN's international correspondent Christiane Amanpour. They talked about the phenomenon of people from Europe and North America traveling to the Middle East to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) as jihadis. Amanpour described "Jihadi John," the British man who beheaded several Western journalists, recently identified as Mohammed Emwazi, a Kuwaiti-born Londoner, as a "psychopath." She also called the ISIS movement a "sociopathic death cult." Listen to the interview. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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The Cost of a Sociopath

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I've been writing my next book and decided to share a piece of it. Here it is: All my life, I've been surrounded by facts and figures about how many years you lose if you do certain things. Like smoke cigarettes. Or do drugs. Or drink too much alcohol. People like to threaten and motivate each other with scary statistics that encompass not only dangerous behaviors but also self-neglect. Like failing to exercise. Or skipping stress-reduction techniques. “For every year you smoke, you take a year off your life.” Something like that. But I don't think anyone knows how many years you lose to a psychopath. Not even counting the years you spend going crazy before you finally figure out wha …

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I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 2 of 2)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Carmella." Read Part 1. I had been asking questions to the family friend about why the guys were either quitting or getting fired within a few weeks. My guy kept blaming them; they started out great but in his eyes they turned out to be lazy. The next day is when I spoke to family friends that had worked for him only to be fired or had quit. He was bullying them and had told them what they did together stayed between them, don't tell me. They confirmed my suspicions, he had a fling with my old neighbor, was talking to other women on the phone, meeting other woman for lunch and kissing them goodbye etc. …

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I was his target for someplace to land, transportation, whatever he needed (Part 1 of 2)

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Editor's note: The following story was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Carmella." I met him on the job. He has an extensive background, a felon. He was a very hard worker, very charming, charismatic, exuded an excellent work ethic, polite, respectful, and impresses most with all of these qualities but mostly with work ethic. That is what impressed me, plus his intelligence. I expressed that I hoped he got his life together once he was released because he was too intelligent and hardworking to have allowed himself to get into this trouble. Once I made that statement, it was on. He was very aggressive in being polite, a gentleman, always there to help me and talk to me. He …

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American Sniper: Sheep, wolves and sheepdogs

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American Sniper, starring Bradley Cooper and directed by Clint Eastwood, is one very intense movie. It tells the story of Chris Kyle, the Navy SEAL sniper with 160 officially confirmed kills, although in his memoir of the same title Kyle says he probably killed twice that number. Regardless of what Lovefraud readers may think about war, guns, the military, Iraq, etc., I want to talk about one scene from the beginning of the movie. In the scene, Chris Kyle is a boy of perhaps 11 or 12, sitting at the dinner table with his family. Earlier in the day, he got into a fight to protect his younger brother. Kyle's father uses the incident to gravely address his boys. He says: “There are three t …

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No Remorse

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I received a text: I am driving to Middleburg to sign paperwork. If u can sign today we will be done w all this stuff. Want to celebrate? My ex husband sent me this text on June 4, 2013. We'd been in court for most of seven years at that point, first for our divorce and then again when he filed for full custody of two of our three children and requested that I have no visitation. He only wanted the boys. I was working at my computer when the text came in. I looked at the time on the corner of my screen—12:17pm. What, did he want to get a drink? Go out to lunch and blow off the rest of the afternoon together? What exactly did he have in mind? I went back to working and then picked …

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Paris terrorists and talking about evil

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Three Islamist terrorists shot dead 12 people at the Charlie Hebdo satire magazine in Paris, including four famous cartoonists. The magazine was targeted because its cartoons supposedly defamed the Prophet Muhammad. Actually, Charlie Hebdo was an equal-opportunity offender. The publication criticized anyone who deserved it. In solidarity with Charlie Hebdo, which was among the few media outlets willing to draw attention to evil, Lovefraud has posted one of their cartoons. You can see more here: These are the Charlie Hebdo cartoons that terrorists thought were worth killing over, on HuffingtonPost.com. And here are tributes drawn by other cartoonists from around the world: Charlie …

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Stalking Q&A

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How do you know if you're being stalked? If you are, what should you do? The LadyLux website recently posted advice for women on stalking. The website interviewed four experts, including Brad Robinson, a former CIA agent who is a private investigator and a member of the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide. Here are some of the questions they addressed: How can a woman tell if she is being stalked? Is a stalker typically someone she knows, or a stranger? What should a woman do if she suspects she has a stalker? When should she contact the authorities? For the answers, and more information, read: Stalking: Are you a victim? on LadyLux.com.       …

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