How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths: The giant skeleton in humanity’s closet

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader in Holland whom we'll call "Anika": Today I registered to your love fraud site. Nice that you created it. It is a great help when you are abused by a socio-psychopath whatever you call it. I've been divorced from mine almost 30 years. Only 3 years ago I read a book that explained to me why, after my divorce, my life changed from a drama into a hell. And this blog and sites are very helpful. Knowledge gives power. So I am together with a cousin (who is also divorced her psychopath), working on creating something like this in Holland. In our country it seems to be an unknown subject. I want to write especially about the t …

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Study shows how experience affects genetics

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The Los Angeles Times reported on Friday an interesting study about the effects of sleep deprivation on genetics. Essentially, lack of sleep caused some genes, such as those involved in stress reactions, to be amplified. Others, such as those involved in healing, were turned down. Read: Sleep deprivation has genetic consequences, study finds, on LATimes.com. I found this study interesting for two reasons. First of all, some sociopaths actively try to prevent their partners from getting enough sleep, and the study points to the real health consequences of this subtle form of abuse. Secondly, the study highlights the fact that genes can change. Here's a key concept: We are all born …

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Man who abused a boy scout also abused his own children

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The Boy Scouts of America "perversion files" from 1959 to the late 1980s were made public last year. One of the violators was Brandon Gray, who lived in Morristown, New Jersey, in 1963. The documentation of Gray's action was validation for two of his children, who were also abused, and struggled to live normal lives afterwards. Brandon Gray scout abuse: Siblings discover dad's molestation, remember own torment, on HuffingtonPost.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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The FBI posts on-line dating warning

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It should go without saying that there are inherent risks that accompany on-line dating.  However, in our electronic age, this practice has become quite acceptable and commonplace.  I know many people who have met their very decent significant others on dating sites.  Regardless, it is always a good idea to be cautious. A few years ago, I decided to try a popular site.  I was busy juggling parenting, fighting court battles, attending graduate school, and working.  Dating was not a priority, but I thought I'd give it a whirl.  It wasn't long before I was matched with the individual I just broke it off with!  Initially, I was confused, because while we were together, it did not seem he neede …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?

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Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “IMarriedIt.” Names are changed. Thirteen years ago, I was an attractive, confident single woman. I owned a small house with 2 cats & a dog. I wasn't looking to date when I met a charsmatic man at work, Simon, or rather, he made a beeline for me. I told him I wasn't interested in dating. He then chose the words he knew would reassure me, that we could spend time together as just friends, but it wouldn't be dating. We did things together & had dinner as pals (so I thought). He amped up the charm and was likeable & witty, though I thought there was something a little strange about him. One night he rang my doo …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopath

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Lovefraud received the following email from a man who says he is a sociopath. It is published for educational purposes, to provide insight into how he thinks. Comments will not be allowed on this post. I'm a sociopath. I've known for a very long time that I'm a sociopath and that's that. I'm writing to you because I want your opinion. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly intelligent male with an IQ of 167. Everyone around me calls me a genius or prodigy; I just think I'm me. I am what I am and it's the only world I know. I am exceptionally good at deduction and reading people. The best example I give for myself would be Sherlock Holmes for the BBC TV series Sherlock. I can …

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Sociopathic confidence and conviction, even when they’re lying

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Downton Abbey was on TV last night, and Terry and I are among the millions of fans. Last night's episode (Season 3, Episode 4) ended in tragedy because of behavior that looked so familiar to me. (Spoiler Alert: The following description gives away the story.) Lord Grantham's daughter, Lady Sybil, is about to give birth. Rather than depend on the local country doctor, Dr. Clarkson, Lord Grantham has imported a more socially acceptable obstetrician, Sir Philip Tapsell, to deliver the baby. As the birth approaches, both doctors are in attendance at the estate. Lady Sybil starts acting incoherently. Dr Clarkson fears that she may be toxemic. He recommends that they rush to the hospital …

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Prison gives sociopaths an opportunity to plot and scheme

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Many of us have been involved with sociopaths who committed crimes, ranging from fraud to drug distribution to murder. Many times we report their activities to law enforcement, and the authorities do nothing. (That's what I experienced.) Or, the case is prosecuted and the criminal gets off. We are left with nothing but our frustration. If the offense is serious enough, however, the sociopaths may be prosecuted and sent to prison. We rejoice. But throwing the bums in jail may be a mixed blessing. Yes, they're off the street, and we can sort of rest easy—temporarily. But while the offenders are locked up, they have guaranteed food, shelter and medical care. Some have access to libraries and …

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