It should go without saying that there are inherent risks that accompany on-line dating. However, in our electronic age, this practice has become quite acceptable and commonplace. I know many people who have met their very decent significant others on dating sites. Regardless, it is always a good idea to be cautious. A few years ago, I decided to try a popular site. I was busy juggling parenting, fighting court battles, attending graduate school, and working. Dating was not a priority, but I thought I'd give it a whirl. It wasn't long before I was matched with the individual I just broke it off with! Initially, I was confused, because while we were together, it did not seem he neede …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Why, why, why did I say yes to a sociopath?
Editor's note: The following post was written by the Lovefraud reader “IMarriedIt.” Names are changed. Thirteen years ago, I was an attractive, confident single woman. I owned a small house with 2 cats & a dog. I wasn't looking to date when I met a charsmatic man at work, Simon, or rather, he made a beeline for me. I told him I wasn't interested in dating. He then chose the words he knew would reassure me, that we could spend time together as just friends, but it wouldn't be dating. We did things together & had dinner as pals (so I thought). He amped up the charm and was likeable & witty, though I thought there was something a little strange about him. One night he rang my doo …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am a sociopath
Lovefraud received the following email from a man who says he is a sociopath. It is published for educational purposes, to provide insight into how he thinks. Comments will not be allowed on this post. I'm a sociopath. I've known for a very long time that I'm a sociopath and that's that. I'm writing to you because I want your opinion. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly intelligent male with an IQ of 167. Everyone around me calls me a genius or prodigy; I just think I'm me. I am what I am and it's the only world I know. I am exceptionally good at deduction and reading people. The best example I give for myself would be Sherlock Holmes for the BBC TV series Sherlock. I can …
Dark Triad in the office: Psychopath, Machiavellian, narcissist
In his new book, Oliver James, a British psychologist and TV broadcaster, describes the worst of white-collar workers. Why your boss could easily be a psychopath, on Telegraph.co.uk. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
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Sociopathic confidence and conviction, even when they’re lying
Downton Abbey was on TV last night, and Terry and I are among the millions of fans. Last night's episode (Season 3, Episode 4) ended in tragedy because of behavior that looked so familiar to me. (Spoiler Alert: The following description gives away the story.) Lord Grantham's daughter, Lady Sybil, is about to give birth. Rather than depend on the local country doctor, Dr. Clarkson, Lord Grantham has imported a more socially acceptable obstetrician, Sir Philip Tapsell, to deliver the baby. As the birth approaches, both doctors are in attendance at the estate. Lady Sybil starts acting incoherently. Dr Clarkson fears that she may be toxemic. He recommends that they rush to the hospital …
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Prison gives sociopaths an opportunity to plot and scheme
Many of us have been involved with sociopaths who committed crimes, ranging from fraud to drug distribution to murder. Many times we report their activities to law enforcement, and the authorities do nothing. (That's what I experienced.) Or, the case is prosecuted and the criminal gets off. We are left with nothing but our frustration. If the offense is serious enough, however, the sociopaths may be prosecuted and sent to prison. We rejoice. But throwing the bums in jail may be a mixed blessing. Yes, they're off the street, and we can sort of rest easy—temporarily. But while the offenders are locked up, they have guaranteed food, shelter and medical care. Some have access to libraries and …
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Notre Dame’s fake dead girlfriend, and real dead girl
A Calimornia man suspected of being behind the Manti Te'o fake girlfriend hoax apparently may have pulled the "Catfishing" scam on multiple people. Report: Ronaiah Tuiasosopo confessed Te'o hoax to friend, on USAToday.com. In the meantime, back in 2010, Lizzy Seeberg, then a 19-year-old college freshman, accused a Notre Dame football player of sexually assaulting her. She filed a report with campus police. They did nothing. A few days later, Lizzy Seeberg committed suicide. Notre Dame still did nothing. Brennan: Notre Dame forgets the woman who really died, on USAToday.com. …
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Notre Dame football star and dead girlfriend hoax
Television news was ablaze this morning with the story that Manti Te'O, star linebacker for the Notre Dame football team, had been duped by an online relationship with a woman who did not exist. Some commentators are saying that Te'O was in on the hoax. I do not know whether Te'O was a participant in the hoax, or whether he was a deceived victim. I do know that both scenarios are possible. Some online predators toy with people's emotions, apparently for the fun of it. Several Lovefraud readers have been snagged by such predators, believed they were in a relationship, and had their hearts broken when their online "partners" died—only to find out that the whole thing was a ruse. This ce …
BOOK REVIEW: Kevin Dutton’s “Wisdom of Psychopaths” is a disservice to society
Kevin Dutton, Ph.D., is a fabulous writer. Unfortunately, in his new book, The Wisdom of Psychopaths—What saints, spies, and serial killers can teach us about success, he uses his prodigious skill with words to promote a fundamentally flawed thesis. What is the thesis? That psychopathy, "in small doses," is good for us. Here's what Dutton writes in the preface of the book: Psychopathy can also be good for us, at least in moderation. Like anxiety, depression, and quite a few other psychological disorders, it can at times be adaptive. Psychopaths, as we shall discover, have a variety of attributes—personal magnetism and a genius for disguise being just the starter pack—which, once you know how …
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Sociopaths and creepy trophies
By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. First of all I want to thank everyone who commented on the posts that I've written over the last couple of years. Recently I did a post on How to speed date a sociopath. Whilst I make every effort to move on with my life after the psychopath, occasionally something will come up that causes me to think “Why do they do that?” So the topic of this post is whether or not any of you have experienced the following: In my book Dark Souls, I wrote about an occasion where my ex moved my cash card. A week later I found it hidden behind a bottle of sauce on the top of …