An article in Harvard Business Review says that narcissists make poor leaders. I'd agree with that. Then the article claims that through mentorship, companies can transform high-achievers with narcissistic traits into quality leaders. What do you think? Is it possible? Read: Narcissism: The difference between high achievers and leaders, on blogs.HBR.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
When the emotionally abused “behave badly”
Has the emotionally abusive individual in your life ever "encouraged" you to behave badly? Were you "pushed" into an emotional response that placed you in a less than favorable light? Did this response seem to bring satisfaction to your abuser? Did he or she gain sympathy or affirmation from others because of your upset? Were you "baited," into confrontations that ultimately left you very visibly shaken, angry, scared, or feeling out of control? Afterward, were you left confused and wondering what just happened? Worse, yet, were you then accused of being "crazy" or "abusive" by your abuser? Did the events ever cause you to question yourself? If you are or were involved with a psycho …
Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?
Last week I heard from a woman who realized that her work supervisor was probably disordered. The Lovefraud reader was hired by a school system to work one-on-one with a special needs child, but what she was directed to do made no sense. When she asked the school district's "professionals" about the "therapy," since, in her experience, it was inappropriate for the child's needs, they seemed uncomfortable and never really answered her. The supervisor, in the meantime, became belligerent. The Lovefraud reader saw that the supervisor was controlling, the professionals were intimidated, and the child was not receiving the right care. The Lovefraud reader was so upset that she took medical …
Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?Read More
About Stolen Lives
Over the years, hearing many victim stories, I often felt the pain and loss of “stolen lives.” Note that having one's life stolen is not the same process as giving one's life away. There are some who spend 30 or more years in a relationship with a sociopath/psychopath and it is important people understand that there is always coercion involved in the process of making and maintaining these relationships. Consider that the coercive behavior that begins and maintains relationships occurs on a continuum from persuasion, to lying/manipulation to taking someone physically by force. The point is that there was never informed, freely given consent. If the victim had known the truth of what they w …
Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex
Many, many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was the best they ever had. In my latest video, I explain why. Watch Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex on the Videos page. …
An analysis of what society should do with psychopaths
How did early hunter-gatherer societies deal with psychopaths? And how should we deal with them now? Joe Brewer, author of Cognitive Policy Works, takes a thoughtful look at the problems psychopaths present for society as a whole. Read: How will the 99% deal with 70 million psychopaths? on CognitivePolicyWorks.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
An analysis of what society should do with psychopathsRead More
When is enough, enough?
The only constant in life is that very little remains constant. None of us know exactly what our futures hold. This is true for everyone, regarding most aspects of life. However, when recovering from relationships with psychopathic individuals or those with psychopathic features, it is an especially important concept for us to understand. Why? The reality is that sometimes they like to hold on to us. While the notion seems to defy logic, it is extremely common. As a result, we must be ready for what this brings, so that we do not allow them to get the best of us or hinder our recoveries. Their inabilities to release us can rapidly turn bizarre and cause significant harm, emotional o …
Many shades of bad behavior
Last month I was in a law firm. Not because of a legal issue—I was there to discuss writing the content for their new websites. Two lawyers, who had been part of one firm, were setting up independent practices. One lawyer hired me. The other wasn't sure, so he wanted to meet me. A week later I learned that the second lawyer decided he would write his website himself. On Saturday, I was shocked to see a story in the local newspaper: The second lawyer, Seth A. Fuscellaro, who was also a public defender in Lower Township, New Jersey, was charged in a $15 million mortgage fraud scheme. The FBI actually arrested him in municipal court and escorted him out in handcuffs. The lawyer was one of …
Lovefraud Lesson #4 – Sensationalism and sociopaths
In the latest video of the Lovefraud Lessons series, Donna Andersen explains that what you learn about sociopaths on television is, at best, incomplete, and at worst, dangerous. Watch it here: Videos …
Lovefraud Lesson #4 – Sensationalism and sociopathsRead More
Sociopaths as aliens
Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like …