Last week, after publishing ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment, Lovefraud received the following letter: I want to commend you and thank you for your website. It is a service to all survivors and the people that love them and, if you'll permit me, I do want to open a dialogue with you about some concerns I have about the site. I have read everything possible about sociopathy from a graduate student perspective and from my own experience with a violent sociopath and several other moderate paths, as well as other random people and family members that fit various DSM criteria, I am concerned that your site is very black and white and that people will be misled to their detriment. …
RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: Why psychopaths feel the need to destroy us after the relationship is over
Editor's note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Sarah Strudwick, based in the UK, is author of Dark Souls—Healing and recovering from toxic relationships. Dark Soul as a destroyer By Sarah Strudwick Sarah Strudwick profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide Psychopaths are known for their lack of fear, but at the same time they often have other associated personality disorders along side, such as malignant narcissism. Deep down they have a sense of self-hatred and loathing, which is why they feel the need to have a constant fix of kind loving, empathic individuals that they can then slowly pull d …
ThePsychoExWife.com and the First Amendment
From time to time, Lovefraud hears from men who complain that we talk about male sociopaths but not female sociopaths. Actually, I was very careful to refer to both men and women in every post on the main website, Lovefraud.com. And here on the Lovefraud Blog, we do have a category devoted to female sociopaths. But the fact it, approximately 80 percent of Lovefraud readers are women who were exploited by sociopathic men. So yes, it does seem that Lovefraud tilts towards male predators. That's why a website called ThePsychoExWife.com is an important resource. I first learned about this website last week from the following story in the Philadelphia Inquirer: Divorce blog's rancor …
BOOK REVIEW: The Science of Evil
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Simon Baron-Cohen, author of The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty, is a professor of Developmental Psychology in the department of Experimental psychology and psychiatry at the University of Cambridge. He is director of the University's Autism Research Center and has endless awards for his research and writing. If you only read one book about empathy, this book should be it! Baron-Cohen explores the definition of empathy, or the lack of it, in humans, to answer his own questions about the Nazi atrocities in Germany before and during World War II. He also, as a scientist, wanted to explore why some people treat other as …
When therapists like sociopaths
Therapists aren't immune to the charms of sociopathic clients, including this therapist. Far from it. This is especially true in a couples dynamic where the client, as I've noted before, can disguise his sociopathic tendencies sometimes more effectively than when in individual therapy. But even when the disguise is off, and I know transparently that I'm dealing with a sociopathic individual, that still doesn't necessarily innoculate me from enjoying him possibly as a very engaging, friendly, even if superficial and manipulative, individual. This can, though, make for more difficulty, and thus more urgency, to be especially watchful not to succumb to his engaging side at the expense o …
Do we really want to legalize sociopathic lying?
So far, in cases about the Stolen Valor Act, federal judges have ruled that lying about earning military medals is harmless and should be protected speech. But Lovefraud's research seems to indicate that people who pretend to be military heroes do it specifically to exploit others. Right now, the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver is considering the case of Rick Strandlof. Back in 2009, Strandlof was arrested for falsely claiming that he was a former Marine, had served in Iraq, and received the Purple Heart and Silver Star medals. Going by the name of Rick Duncan, Strandlof presented himself as a veterans' advocate through the Colorado Veterans Alliance, which he founded. In …
Book Review: The Psychopath Test
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) I bought The Psychopath Test—A Journey Through the Madness Industry, by John Ronson, based mainly on the title. Jon Ronson is a journalist and author of two previous books that were widely accepted. A movie was made about one of them, The Men Who Stare at Goats, starring George Clooney. The first couple of chapters of this book weren't all that interesting to me, but before long I was hooked into the story he was writing. Mr. Ronson looks at the “madness industry” from an outsider's point of view. He actually took training from Dr. Robert “Bob” Hare in how to use the Psychopathic Check List-Revised to spot a psychopath. Ronson went a few steps …
What is love fraud?
In my post last week, I referred to an article on Salon.com called, Facebook status: In a scam relationship. The article starts with an anecdote about a guy who met a woman on Myspace. She supposedly lived in Ghana and proclaimed her love, then told him a hard luck story. He sent her a total of $14,000, even though they never met. The person did not exist. The guy was scammed. After relating the anecdote, the article stated, “He's a victim of what's called ”˜love fraud.'” I had two reactions to that sentence. The first was, “Wow—”˜love fraud' has entered the lexicon.” The second was, “This writer doesn't get it—love fraud is not limited to cyber scams.” Then, a few days ago, I receiv …
Psychopaths and outrageous lies
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired) Psychopaths sometimes don't know enough about how the rest of the world thinks to tell a “good” lie. I saw the following article about North Korea's soccer team and how they had been apparently caught in a doping scandal, but were claiming that it was really an herbal medication that made them test positive for steroids. Just what will Kim Jong-Il make of all this? North Korea say medicine using musk deer glands caused five players to fail drug tests The excuse given was that the team members had been struck by lightening and they had decided, heroically, to compete anyway. The steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medic …
What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopath
Editor's note: Although this post describes the Judeo-Christian scripture, Lovefraud respects and honors all religious and spiritual traditions. By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) One of my favorite books of the Bible is Proverbs, which was attributed to Solomon, King of Israel, the son of King David. Though reputedly the wisest man in the world, Solomon didn't always put his philosophies and wisdom to good use in his own life. Nonetheless, the book does have a lot of wisdom in it, including this description of a psychopath. Proverbs 6:12-19, I think, is a perfect description of the psychopath. The New Living Bible translation: 12 What are worthless and wicked people like? They …
What are worthless and wicked people like? A Biblical description of the psychopathRead More