Editor's Note: Lovefraud received the following article from the reader in Australia who posts as “Dani S.” I recently had the unfortunate experience of coming across another personality disorder, this time on Facebook. I love Facebook, as growing up in a small country town and moving to the city, Facebook has been a great place for me to reconnect with old school friends and to chat with them online. I have always been very careful never to add friend request unless I know the person personally, so I thought that I was safe! Wrong! I joined a group called "Dead Beat Dads." The group had over 300 members, ranging from mothers, stepfathers and children of fathers that have exp …
When Sociopaths Follow The Rules
Aren't sociopaths supposed to be rule-breakers? Isn't this a main indicator of their sociopathy? If so, then what's up with sociopaths when they're following, not breaking, the rules? Hmm. This appears to be confusing, but then again, is it really? Perhaps it's oversimplistic to see sociopaths as incapable of following rules? In the grand scheme of things, I think it's fair to say that sociopaths will break rules; they will violate boundaries; they will hurt and violate others with a startling—indeed sociopathic—lack of accountability and conscience. The sociopath, I think we can say reasonably, will inevitably transgress others, and he will transgress them heartlessly. However, w …
Donna Andersen’s video for Love Fraud book
“Most of us want to believe that there's good in everyone. Unfortunately, it isn't true. There are people in the world who are rotten to the core, and they're called sociopaths.” That's how I begin my video interview about my new book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I answer questions about what happened to me, and why I wrote the book. The six-minute video is posted on my blog for the book, and I invite you to watch it. Pre-order special ends July 31 Right now, we're offering a pre-order special for the book. If you place your order now, we'll send you an autographed and numbered first edition, shipped free to U.S. destinations, and 40 percent of …
When good parenting isn’t enough
There was a time when mental health professionals were trained to see children as intrinsically good until influenced otherwise. If kids came out bad, the parents were to blame. That attitude is changing, writes Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry in Manhattan. In reality, parents have limited power to influence their children. Read Accepting that good parents may plant bad seeds, on NYTimes.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional
All those impostors who lied about being in the military when they weren't, lied about earning medals of valor when they didn't, have just gotten a get-out-of-jail-free card. A federal judge in Denver has ruled that the Stolen Valor Act, which made it illegal to falsely claim any military decoration or medal, is "facially unconstitutional." The law violates the First Amendment right of free speech. Great. Now military impostors like my ex-husband, who told me that he won Australia's equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, so that I would believe he was a responsible and trustworthy man, are free to lie all they want. Lying about military service is protected speech. This is …
Helpful books for people being stalked
By Ox Drover Dr. Sherry L. Meinberg, an educator holds the “world's record” with the FBI for being seriously stalked for the longest time—forty years!—by a combination of her first and second husbands, who brutally beat her and almost killed her. Even after 17 years in a mental institution for the dangerously insane, her first husband, who had written her letters every day of his incarceration, came after her again, and found her. Dr. Meinberg's book promotion says: Research now tells us that one in twelve women in the USA, and a growing number of men, will be stalked at some time in their lives. Over one and a half million adults are stalked annually, with the vast majority of victim …
Sociopath quotes the price of his soul
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who we'll call “Jenna.” At the end, she posts a document written by her sociopathic ex about the price of his soul, which provides a unnerving glimpse into how he truly thinks. Names have been changed. I have spent the last 18 years dealing with a classic sociopath, a man who lies beyond my wildest imagination. I have come to believe that he isn't just evil that is too easy an explanation. Evil people can't help themselves; they can be "born bad." No, this man chooses to be sadistic and mentally cruel. He can be "nice" when he wants to. He has a now four-year-old granddaughter who adores him and thinks her "Papa" hung the …
Dear Abby and the narcissist
Last week I happened to read a Dear Abby column in the newspaper. A woman wrote to Abby that she had been married to a man for 15 years who was controlling and manipulative, along with being emotionally, economically and sexually abusive. The letter-writer termed her husband narcissistic and passive-aggressive, but in my view he may be a sociopath. The woman is filing for divorce. Her dilemma is that her husband projects a “good guy” image, and she fears that if she accuses him of abuse, no one will believe her. Abby's advice was to tell a few close girlfriends what really happened. “The truth will spread like wildfire,” Abby wrote. I wonder if Abby gave good advice for this situati …
Is God A Sociopath?
I've been thinking lately about God, assuming He exists. Mainly, I've been thinking about the Judeo-Christian biblical conception of God, and asking myself, crazy as this sounds, if He exists, Is God a sociopath? I pose this question seriously, and apologize in advance for offending anyone by probing this idea. But consider: You are expected to worship Him. You are expected to acknowledge His perfection. You are expected to live by His standards. You are expected to fear His Judgement. You are expected to please, not disappoint Him. You are expected to do penance when you've strayed from His rules. You are expected to be in awe of, and fear, His omniscience. You …
Murderous partners
I'm going to address a disturbing subject: the motives, the thinking, of men who eliminate—yes, who murder—their partners. But first a caveat: Females also sometimes eliminate their partners and share, I suspect, similar mindsets and motives with male murderous eliminators. And so what I write, here, applies, I suspect, across gender lines. One other caveat—when I use the term “eliminate,” as you might suspect, I'm excluding killings in self-defense, of passion, and as responses to insufferable abuse. This will be apparent as the discussion unfolds. Last, by “eliminate,” I refer to two possible means of disposing of a partner—by one's own hands, or by outsourcing the job. So …