If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath. 1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. 2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that. 3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch. 5. Blame …
New York book club to discuss ‘The Sociopath Next Door’
The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., will be the topic of discussion at a New York City Barnes & Noble Book Store on April 22, 2010, at 7 p.m. The event is sponsored by the Non-Fiction Reading Club at the Barnes & Noble at 86th and Lexington Avenue. All are welcome. Event announcement provided by a Lovefraud reader. …
New York book club to discuss ‘The Sociopath Next Door’Read More
The marriage and the monster
Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S. Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two when he openly cheated and decided to leave me, then played games of false reconciliation, which in hindsight were so he could have two sex partners. The short end of my question is ”¦ How do you reconcile the basically happy marriage, the illusion of a man you married with the horrible monster he has become in trying to create turmoil in your life and use your greatest love (your child) to hurt you? Range of behavior One reason why it's so difficult to spot sociopaths is because they are not all the same. Soc …
Two terrible stories about sex and children
In Trenton, New Jersey, a 15-year-old girl sold her 7-year-old stepsister to a group of men and boys at a party for sex. Read: Cops: N.J. teen sold stepsister, 7, for party sex on Msnbc.com. In Wales, a 6-year-old was repeatedly stripped, sexually abused and physically assaulted by other children in her school. Read: Horrific ordeal of girl, six, who was physically and sexually abused by 23 of her primary school classmates on Mail Online. Links submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …
Games Sociopaths Play (In Psychotherapy)
What can we say about the games sociopaths play in psychotherapy? We might start with: Sociopaths don't seek counseling, ever, from a genuine motive to make personal growth. This isn't to say sociopaths don't end up in therapists' offices. They do, either because they've been mandated to attend therapy, or because they view counseling, somehow, as enabling their ulterior, manipulative agenda. But never does the sociopath, on his own, awaken one day and say to himself, “I've got some personal issues I need to examine seriously, for which pursuing psychotherapy is probably imperative—otherwise my life and relationships are going down the drain.” I repeat, sociopaths will never, ever, …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A broken military system, a simple request
Editor's Note: Kathleen Mills first contacted Lovefraud in September 2006 about her military husband, who she believes is a sociopath. He filed for divorce, deployed to Iraq and refused to pay her the financial support that by law, military families are entitled to receive. A year ago Kathy sued the Ohio National Guard and the governor of Ohio. “My situation is still the same,” she wrote last week. “My husband is still committing BAH fraud, with the open knowledge not only of the Guard, but the governor's office.” Kathy Mills is editor of the divorce section of www.4militaryfamilies.com. She has been invited to testify before the House Armed Services sub-committee. The followi …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: A broken military system, a simple requestRead More
Back to school: Talking about sociopaths
Last week, I was invited to participate in a “Women's History Breakfast” at a local high school. The school asked six local women to speak about obstacles they've overcome in their lives and careers to a group of approximately 50 girls. I used the opportunity to talk about sociopaths. First, I briefly summarized my story: I married James Montgomery, an Australian, who told me he was a Hollywood movie producer and screenwriter, a war hero who served in Vietnam with Special Forces, and who came to Atlantic City to open an electronic theme park for adults on the Boardwalk. The only thing that was true was that he was Australian. Montgomery took $227,000 from me, cheated with at least si …
Physiologically, power makes it easier to lie
A new study by the Columbia Business School is titled, People with power are better liars. The average liar experiences negative emotions, physiological stress and fear of getting caught. Power, however, enhances the same emotional, cognitive and physiological systems that lying depletes. So holding power over others makes it easier to lie. Read People in power make better liars, study shows on Msnbc.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader via Facebook. …
Psychopaths, crime and choice
In 1978, Rodney Alcala of California approached Liane Leedom, who was 17 years old at the time. He struck up a conversation, showed her some of his photographs, and then asked to photograph her. Although he was later convicted of murdering four women and a girl, Rodney Alcala did not kill Liane Leedom. In 1983, Brian Dugan of Illinois abducted and murdered a 10-year-old girl. The next year he raped and murdered a 27-year-old woman, and the following year he raped and murdered a 7-year-old girl. Both of these men are psychopaths. They're both facing the death penalty for their crimes. But last November, at Brian Dugan's sentencing, defense attorneys argued that because the man had a …
Rodney Alcala: The “sociopath next door”
Last Tuesday night, I woke up at about 2 AM unable to sleep. I turned on CNN and there was Rodney Alcala, a man who lived down the street from the house I grew up in, in Monterey Park, California. I was not surprised to see a story about him since I knew of his arrests and convictions for murder. When Anderson Cooper said the police just released hundreds of photographs found in a Seattle storage locker belonging to Alcala, I sat up to take a closer look. Sure enough, at least 4 pictures of me at age 17 were among those found by police and released out of worry that they depict victims. My initial reaction was one of embarrassment, and I eagerly awaited the hours to pass so I could …