Explaining the sociopath

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS Sadists and narcissists — are they the same? Pathological personalities can overlap each other with their complexities and commonalities. Over the years, definitive conclusions as to whether a sadist is a narcissist, and vice-versa, have been lacking and debate has been ongoing. A person can be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, which is a cluster B disorder according to the DSM V. This is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. However, the opposite is true for a sadist, at least presently. There is no official diagnosis of sadism. Sadism was once referred to as Sadistic Personality Disorder (SPD) in …

Sadists and narcissists — similarities and differencesRead More

Lovefraud received the following question from a reader who was trying to understand sociopathic behavior: HOW do sociopaths KNOW what to do or how to act or what tactics to use to get what they want? They use tactics such as intermittent reinforcement or hijack our human bonding system, but they do not have degrees in psychology, nor do they consciously understand (I assume) that this is what they are doing – so HOW do they know to use those tactics to begin with??  It’s as if they are reading from the same ‘manual’ and that makes me wonder: Is it subconscious, intuitive behavior on their part?? Yes, sociopaths all seem to be operating out of the same playbook. Let’s take a look at …

How do sociopaths know what tactics to use?Read More

If you have a sociopath in your life — whether a romantic partner, family member or friend — you probably have experienced, or will experience, the silent treatment. Why? Because from the sociopath’s point of view, it works. What is the silent treatment? As the term implies, someone who engages in the silent treatment stops talking to you. You want to communicate, and the other person refuses. If you are trying to contact the individual when you are not physically in the same place, they don’t respond to your texts, emails or phone calls. If you are in the same house — heck, even in the same room — they do not acknowledge you, let alone speak to you. They may look at you, then look …

The silent treatment and sociopaths — it’s all about controlRead More

Something happens — perhaps even something small — and your partner explodes. He or she launches into a tirade, slams doors, throws things and appears to be on the edge of physical violence. What do you do? Narcissistic rage is really scary. The rager may yell, scream, curse, demean, belittle, shake fists and back you into a corner — and that's assuming the person doesn't get violent. If the situation escalates, the rager may throw or break items, punch the wall — possibly next to your head — and threaten you. Some may lose control totally and physically strike you. Usually, the display of aggression is way out of proportion to whatever it was that supposedly triggered the anger. …

5 warning signs of narcissistic rage and what you should doRead More

[youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/KaOC9danxNo] UPDATED for 2021. I was watching ABC World News Tonight back in 2015. At the end of the program, ABC announced its "Person of the Week" Col. Chris Hadfield, the first Canadian astronaut to walk in space. Col. Hadfield is famous for his magnificent cover of the classic David Bowie song, Space Oddity, recorded while he was the commander of the International Space Station. The video has more than 50 million YouTube views. Hadfield's Space Oddity is absolutely breathtaking. It's such a tribute to the capacity of the human race to reach beyond our grounded existence that it brought tears to my eyes. I watched it again today. It still …

Media messages that blind us to sociopathsRead More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Lovefraud received this e-mail from the reader who posts as "Flicka." Most experts seem to say that psychotics know what/who they are — different from the rest of society. However, I question whether or not this is true. My experience has been that they SEEM to sincerely believe they are a superior group of humans, intellectually, physically, emotionally and the ultimate future of the human race. I.e. when confronted with their outright lies, accusations, priorities, misjudgments, lack of morals, compassion, they either sincerely defend their lack of emotionalism as a sign of their superiority or call you absolutely “crazy”. If this response is part of their “act,” they …

Do psychopaths know what they are?Read More

By Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.Ed., LBS If the narcissist comes to you and says, “We need to talk,” what exactly does this mean? Why does the narcissist want to talk to you and about what? And since when does the narcissist ever have the desire to resolve a problem or conflict with you? There are specific ways of communicating that seem to be “cookie cutter” for narcissists. They always communicate with a goal in mind: to get what they want regardless of the cost. I believe narcissists are completely predictable, but one must see the signs from the beginning and study how they establish relationships with others and how the dynamics of these relationships play out over time. Examining …

What does it mean when the narcissist says, ‘we need to talk?’Read More

UPDATED FOR 2021. Just about all Lovefraud readers share the feeling of being shattered by the sociopath. You just can't get your arms around the experience. "How can someone who claims to love me be so cruel?" "Do you mean he (she) never loved me? It was all a lie?" "I never knew people like this existed!" When you first begin to realize that you've been involved with someone who has a serious personality disorder, you may feel shattered by the sociopath, like you've lost your bearings in the world and you're drifting. You've had your heart broken before, but no previous relationship compared to this. Even if you've managed to get away from this toxic person, you feel lost. …

Why you feel so shattered by the sociopath’s betrayalRead More