Evil exists. If you need proof, just look at the horrific case of little Charleeni Ferreira. Charleeni, age 10, of Philadelphia, Pa., died on October 21, 2009. Her father, Domingo Ferreira, 53, and stepmother Margarita Garabito, 43, were charged with murder and endangering the welfare of a child. So how bad was the abuse? The police called it “torture.” Charleeni actually died from an infection that resulted from broken ribs that were not treated. She had a host of new and old injuries, including a fractured pelvis and a 7-inch gash on her head that had been stuffed with gauze and covered with a hair weave. For more details, read Signs of Charleeni's “torture” were hidden, in the Phila …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Vigorous campaign to portray me as angry and hostile
Editor's note: On April 15, 2009, we posted “Bob's” story—Leaning on his family while battling his wife. Well, the battle continues. Bob is asking the Lovefraud community for suggestions. I recently received the email below from my P ex-wife and wanted to share it with your readers. I would like someone to analyze this to get some insight and commentary on this situation. It is so reminiscent of what I have read on Lovefraud.com and in books and comes really without surprise; it just surprises me of the lengths she will go to try to falsely trash me in an effort to obtain custody of our kids. The allegations are either fabricated or extremely exaggerated. She has a knack for manipulating p …
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ASK DR. LEEDOM: Why has my husband cut our daughters out of his life?
This week we received the following letter from a reader of the blog. I wanted to share both the letter and my reaction to it with you: After 30 yrs of marriage and abuse, I have finally left my passive aggressive sociopathic narcissist husband. I have managed the No Contact fairly well, of course he is the KING of the silent treatment so it doesn't seem to bother him. What I simply do not understand is this: We have two daughters, ages 22 and 24. We USED to have a close family, the girls were close to their dad. However after they have witnessed him abusing me, they have had a few 'spats' with him lately. What completely baffles me, is that when I started the No Contact …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Why has my husband cut our daughters out of his life?Read More
It Wasn’t You
(This post is meant for her, who knows who she is, and the rest of you, who know who you are. My use of “he” is for purposes of convenience; women, too, are capable of the behaviors and attitudes described. Copyright © 2009 by Steve Becker, LCSW) It wasn't you. It was him. I know you're not a black and white person (like he was). But sometimes it is black and white. And so this is the deal: It wasn't you. He wanted you to think it was you, when all along it was him. And you didn't fully want to believe it was him, either. Even now, perhaps in a corner of your heart, although it may conflict with your rational healing self, you may still not be entirely ready to believe that it wasn't you. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am losing control as a parent
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader, who uses the name Samantha, has sent the following letter. She's looking for suggestions and feedback. I was married for 12 years to a sociopath who was a minister and had 3 affairs ”¦ it took me that many to finally "get it." We had 2 children who were 6 and 8 when I finally filed for divorce 4 years ago. It's been an ugly 4 years. During that time, I have worked as a teacher part-time making $22,000 a year with no benefits. I have been putting myself through school to get licensed in special ed so I can get into the public schools. I am almost there and got a new job this year. It's not public school and still not any more money, but it's special ed and …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I am losing control as a parentRead More
Dr. Donald G. Dutton explains that personality disorder is the cause of domestic violence
For the past several years Donna and I have attended the Battered Mothers Custody Conference and so we have been able to interact with domestic violence experts. Both of us were surprised to discover that although most of the worst spousal assault perpetrators have personality profiles indicative of sociopathy/psychopathy this fact is not recognized by many experts. I have worked to become well acquainted with the scientific literature regarding intimate partner violence because I teach psychology of gender and because I very much want to understand why people who should know better often fail to diagnose sociopathy in perpetrators. This failure to diagnose has lead to intimate partner …
Dr. Donald G. Dutton explains that personality disorder is the cause of domestic violenceRead More
Enabling a sociopath is unpatriotic
Sociopaths/psychopaths commit a disproportionate amount of both violent and non-violent crime in all Western countries. Today is July 4th or American Independence Day, so I am going to take this opportunity to ask that friends and family members of sociopaths stop enabling them. According to Webster's Online Dictionary the word enable means: 1 a: to provide with the means or opportunity b: to make possible, practical, or easy c: to cause to operate In her book A Dance With the Devil, (which I highly recommend) Barbara Bentley gives many poignant examples of enabling as she describes how her psychopathic husband accomplished his antisocial goals. The most shocking of many examples is …
Feeling guilty about a sociopathic stepson
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who we'll call Martha. I have a 33-year old adult stepson who I believe is sociopathic — he fits all the criteria. He has been a problem to the family ever since his mother threw him out to our house at the age of 13. By that time he was so oppositional there was no dealing with him in any reasonable way. We went through all the “standard” teenage issues with him — petty crime, running away, repeating years in school, counseling, adolescent psych facility, military school till we ran out of money, etc. What is different about our situation from everything I read is that my husband has stood by him for so many years, giving him …
Co-parenting with a sociopath
Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who we'll call Carla: Can you help me with co-parenting with a sociopath? Divorced three months ago, after a two-year fight for my rights. He is not complying as you know. I am going crazy with the way he only shows his wonderful, smooth qualities to the children. I have three boys. I can't stand sending them on weekends to a man who never calls them for two weeks and then lavishes them with charm and gifts. It makes me sick that I am struggling because he has not released even one of 26 accounts to me as decreed in the divorce settlement. He pays my bills and deducts them from the alimony. He follows the agreement under his …
Lovefraud extra: Let’s support Sandra Boss
The kidnapping trial of "Clark Rockefeller" the psychopathic con artist who is charged with parental kidnapping is happening at the time of this writing. The defense is claiming "insanity" and attacking Sandra Boss for having fallen for his lies. A survey of internet blogs reveals public abuse of Sandra. Please add your comments in support of Sandra to the blogs, particularly this one http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2009/06/rockefellers_2.html. To watch the trial live visit:http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/specials/05_28_09_Rockefeller_live_video/ This is outrageous,Sandra was worked over by the defense. Someone (perhaps an attorney who reads this blog) …