UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call "Regina," a senior citizen who encountered a sociopath. I am now 77 years old and my sociopath is 74. We were together almost 7 years. You would think at my age I would have known better. I have finally left the creep for the 4th time, and with the help of Lovefraud blogs, I am on my way to full recovery. It still hurts that I could have been so stupid, but here's my story. To try and understand why I let myself be sucked in to a relationship with this creep, I have to go back 18 years to when my husband died. Shortly after his death, my nephew, then 15 years old, robbed me to the tune …
12 Seduction strategies from the Sociopath Playbook
UPDATED FOR 2024. Sociopaths tend to use all the same tactics while reeling in new romantic partners, as if they were all working from the same well-known reference manual. If you were able to find this playbook, written by an alpha sociopath for the benefit of the trainees, here are ploys it would include. 1 . Listen intently to your targets, staring into their eyes and hanging on their every word. This encourages them to keep talking — and everything they tell you can later be used as ammunition against them. 2. Call, text and email your targets frequently. They will interpret your constant attention as a sign that you are smitten with them, and will not notice that you are e …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: They are everywhere and they inflict serious damage
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “Trista.” We previously posted her story, “LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I was dismissed with a shrug.” Well, Trista's story continues. I have written to you long ago telling how my S husband destroyed my life. I would never think that I would meet another one, even worst than the first. I wonder why I attract those people. This is a sad story that is still now breaking my heart. I'm giving this to you and to the site. I'm writing from Brazil, where I moved after my divorce. The very first week here I was looking for a flat and someone told me about an estate agent who could help. I went to me …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I want the woman back that I fell in love with, but I know it is impossible
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a man who posts as “Drained.' I guess I have been in a bit of a hole for a while now and have generally been going through a rough time, which in hindsight may have made me ripe for the picking by my sociopathic ex girlfriend. I had been unhappy in a previous long term relationship (prior to meeting my SP) for a considerable time, my ex partner is an amazing person, however we grew apart and were more suited as friends than lovers. I had been in this relationship for 12 years. My father passed away last year after losing his battle with cancer, which was incredibly hard to watch. I have been battling depression for s …
I would rather be homeless than spend another day feeling soul-less
UPDATED FOR 2024: Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call “Chelsea.” Wow, my eyes have been opened! My soul is trying to heal from the wounds I suffered being with what I now know without a doubt is a genuine SP man! My story begins on August 2005 when I walked into the restaurant and met who I thought was the most charming and compassionate man ever. I was with one of my best friends, and we began to chat when two fellows approached us and asked if we would like a drink. It seem harmless to us at the time, and we accepted their offer and began chatting with them. The first man seemed intoxicated and was acting very loud and immature. He was …
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The sociopathic MO in three easy steps
UPDATED FOR 2024. I have a friend who lost his wife to cancer. After a year, he started going out in search of companionship. He knew my history of being involved with a sociopath, in fact, he knew my ex, James Montgomery. So when he had a bizarre experience with woman he dated for a few weeks, my friend had questions for me. The woman claimed to be separated from her husband, although I’m not sure that was the case. She pursued my friend relentlessly, until they had sex. At some point, she made a comment about “a lion needs fresh meat.” After that, they spent an entire day together, then she unceremoniously dumped him. My friend asked, was this woman kooky like my ex? He told me mor …
How sociopaths intentionally mess with your mind
UPDATED FOR 2024. I talk to a lot of people who are, or have been, involved with sociopaths. Time and time again they tell me, "I feel like I'm losing my mind." This is exactly how sociopaths want you to feel. Why? Because if you are confused and unsure of yourself, you are more pliable. You are easier to control, and what sociopaths want is to control you. So how do they mess with your mind? Lies from hello to goodbye First of all, they lie. Now, this may not sound all that terrible, because we all lie from time to time. But normal people lie to get out of trouble or spare someone's feelings. Sociopaths lie because they have an agenda. The lying starts at the very …
Should I warn the next victim?
UPDATED FOR 2024: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “forever_me.” She asks a very important question: "Should I warn the next victim?" I'll answer her question after her letter. Hello. I am looking for some guidance. I was in a romantic relationship with a P for over 2 years, but just broke it off earlier this week. I discovered that he was using an online dating site and was able to access it because I knew the patterns of his passwords. I created a bogus profile on the same website and contacted one of the women he was messaging. She was shocked to hear from me because my P told her he was single and not dating anyone. What was worse was that they had en …
A cult of two – you and the sociopath
Cult leaders are charismatic, charming, egocentric and manipulative, and their key strategy for recruiting followers is love bombing. Does this sound like the sociopath you encountered? If you’re involved with a sociopath, you may be in a cult of two — you and the sociopath. At first - love bombing When you were targeted as the sociopath’s new romantic interest, it’s quite possible that you were showered with more attention, adoration, and perhaps gifts than you’d ever experienced. You may have felt giddy with excitement. You may have felt that you were placed on a pedestal so high that the air around you was thin and you could hardly breathe. When they’re in full seduction mod …
5 warning signs that your online love is a scammer
It’s wonderful to hear, “I love you.” But if the words are coming from someone you recently met online, maybe what they really mean is, “I’d love to exploit you.” Is this person for real, or is your online love a scammer? The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) recently released its 2023 report, and cybercrime continues to climb. The report states: "In 2023, IC3 received a record number of complaints from the American public: 880,418 complaints were registered, with potential losses exceeding $12.5 billion. This is a nearly 10% increase in complaints received, and it represents a 22% increase in losses suffered, compared to 2022." Included in those totals are 17,823 complaint …