How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Overcoming the hype to educate people about sociopaths

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Lovefraud recently received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Eleanor.” Thank you for your wonderful site Lovefraud! It has helped me tremendously. I am still with my sociopath husband, but am quietly and surely planning on leaving. We have a few children so it really makes it more complicated. He has now gone up to the next stage in what I've read sociopaths love to do. I'm so thankful that I read about it before he did it and know how to react and what to expect! He's started to call up my family, giving them a sob story about how broken he is and how I won't get any help (we've gone through a few counselors, with no obvious results as they've all been taken in by his a …

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When clergy are abusers

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Editor's note: The following list was compiled by Carolyn Waterstradt, who holds a masters degree in theology and will graduate with masters degree in social work in April 2012. Carolyn owns Inner Quest Healing, where she works with survivors of clergy sexual abuse. This partial list of grooming techniques was compiled from her research with 18 women who were abused by a member of the clergy. Her book, "Fighting the Good Fight: Healing and Advocacy after Clergy Sexual Assault," is a compilation of this research and will be available in spring 2012.  This article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. 10 Grooming Techniques Commonly Used in Cle …

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Millions of elderly suffer financial abuse every year

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Researchers conducted a phone survey of 4,000 people over age 60. Even though none of these people suffered dementia or other mental decline, 4.2 percent said they had been the victim of financial fraud or exploitation during the preceding year. On a national scale, that translates to millions of victims. Read Financial abuse of the elderly is approaching a crisis, researcher says, on Philly.com. …

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Abuse is abuse – it is not okay

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By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) When I read the news sometimes I just want to cry. It seems the news is filled with hate, prejudice, evil and just plain mean stuff! The following article about a young man who was “hazed” to death in a college band and beaten so badly that his muscles were destroyed, made me just have to stop and “take a breath” before I could continue to read such a sad story. Expert: Autopsy of Florida A&M drum major shows badly beaten muscles An entire group of college age young adults who would inflict such punishment on a fellow band member, a person they probably called a “friend,” is beyond belief to me. This was not some group of inner city dropped ou …

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The importance of believing in ourselves

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Back in August of 2010, I told my story of being defrauded by a sociopath as “star” of the premiere episode of Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, a TV show that aired on the Investigation Discovery network. Well, since that first exciting night, the show has probably aired 30 or 40 times. It aired in Australia. It aired in South America. On Friday, it aired on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Hey, I've finally been on Oprah! I never know in advance when the show is going to air—I only find out when I start receiving emails from people who see it and identify with my story. A couple of months ago I heard from a man who saw the show and was beginning to suspect that a woman in his life was using him fo …

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Investment banker thinks he deserves a second date

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A woman goes to the philharmonic in New York City alone. She meets a guy who is also alone. He asks her for a date, she goes once, doesn't want to go again. She doesn't return his calls. He sends an e-mail demanding to know why. Woman is so astounded she posts it on the Internet. Read An investment banker's cover letter for a second date, on Reddit.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Pedophile’s wives can be the last to know

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Almost seven years ago, Darlene Ellison's life was turned upside-down when her husband was arrested as an "inner circle" member of NAMBLA—the North American Man-Boy Love Association. She had no idea what he was doing. Read How Dorothy Sandusky could have been duped, on TheDailyBeast.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Raped-unzel

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Editor's note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence. She previously submitted a piece called All Alone. Raped-unzel let her hair down and a batterer climbed up. Mr. No-Longer-Charming had seduced her with lying words and false promises, and now she lay married to a man that called her a whore. Oh—and said he loved her, too, usually soon after he called her a whore. Raped-unzel said to Mr. No-Longer-Charming: "Don't confuse me with comatose Sleeping Beauty over there, in that fairy tale. I can see through your lies, straight down to your true colors." So, she is in The Flip Side of the Fairy …

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