How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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10 years of hope and heartbreak with a sociopathic woman, Part 2

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Trevor." Read Part 1. Part 3 will be published tomorrow. Needless to say, contact between us stopped for a long time. A year went by and one day I opened my e-mail and there was a letter from her. My father had passed away the week before and she had read it in the paper and was saying sorry for my loss and for all she had done. She added she hoped I didn't hate her and that she missed us talking the way we once did. I fell for it. I replied and told her I didn't hate her, that I missed her too and before long it was on again. This time her struggle was with the wedding that was coming up. She had agreed …

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10 years of hope and heartbreak with a sociopathic woman, Part 1

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Trevor." This is Part 1 of 3. Part 2 will be published tomorrow. I became involved over 10 years ago. We met while on a wine tour, she was with another man and he was with her on this tour. She approached me at the bar, asked me where my girlfriend was. I told her I didn't have one at the time and asked her where the boyfriend was. She replied, I sent him to the bus so I could talk to you. I made an excuse to leave and did my best to ignore it the rest of the night. A few weeks later at a wedding reception I see her again. She's a very beautiful woman and was dressed to kill. Again she's with the same …

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Language habits to help me remember that my ex was abnormal

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Editor's note: Three years ago, Lovefraud posted a story that we received from a reader whom we called, "Maura." Read it here: "After 30 years with a sociopath, she's now having the time of her life."  Maura is now about 70 years old and just sent Lovefraud an update. She included one of her recovery strategies, which she was graciously willing to share with Lovefraud readers. I wanted you to know that I gave up on "being friends" with the ex, and on trying to rescue the other victim (the main one; I'm sure there were others I did not know about). There have been many happy experiences in my new, free life. I am in a positive relationship, but I set strong boundaries and I resist any d …

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He got everything he could from me, and then discarded me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Emilie18." I met him in October on a dating site. He was 4 years younger than me – 59. His profile picture showed a rugged, good-looking middle aged man. His profile said he said he was ex military, ex truck driver, had a stroke and was losing his sight but wanting to travel. We chatted on the site for a week - he claimed he moved to my state to live with his brother after a nasty divorce 6 months before and had two married, adult kids living in Kentucky. He lived in a town 100 miles away. He wrote every day, then after a week, I gave him my number. He had a charming southern accent. I met him at a r …

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While I was at work, my fiancé was coming in my home, packing up his stuff, preparing to ghost me

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Marjorie18." I was engaged for three years to a very handsome retired master sergeant in the Air Force. He had two boys the same age as my two boys. We lived together in my home until this Good Friday, March 30, 2018. He had been moving things out of my house into a storage unit because after his divorce, naturally, he had a lot of stuff that he needed to store and most of that came to my house. He had several vehicles, including a car trailer full of stuff, and then my garage was full of his stuff. So when he started moving things into storage, it was under the guise of wanting to put a collectible …

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Her daughter’s wedding should be a time of joy, but her ex is causing havoc

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from the reader who posts as "Elle." In 2014, my youngest daughter and I got a restraining order against my husband at the time due to violent rages and terrifying behavior he was exhibiting. Of course he would profess to our older 2 daughters he did nothing and we were lying … this is a man who NEVER took any responsibility for his behavior and was then and still is a pathological liar. At a divorce proceeding in April 2017, in spite of the restraining order in effect, he violated the order and I went to the police. He came after my daughter and I in the parking lot in a terrifying, arms flailing, cocky and belligerent manner sa …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

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Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a …

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Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife

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Editor's note: The following article was sent to Lovefraud by a reader whom we'll call "Maura." My friend Annie was sent this text from her sociopathic ex. Three and half years ago, he abandoned her and their sons after a 17-year marriage. No doubt other readers have had similar hoover texts, and either ignored them or fell for them. For entertainment and education purposes, we’ve analysed his standard manipulative ploys and use of charm to break down her defences and weasel his foot in the door. On the surface his text seems contrite and genuine enough. However, he is a sociopath who will do and say anything to lure her back in. The bottom line — it is all a con and he wants to exert c …

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Why didn’t his family warn me?

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I want to express my deepest appreciation and thanks for this site. I have questions for which I can't find answers. Admittedly I'm new to this forum and I'm sure my story isn't unique as I've read MY story over and over LOL! I'm clearly among my peeps. I say that with humor and with heartache because my family and friends do not understand my situation by no fault of their own. 1- having never been exposed to a sociopath their advice was based on a normal relationship. And 2- I didn't share most of what happened out of embarrassment. I didn't even realize my X was a sociopath until recently, 3 years after the final breakup. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't bouncing back, why I had no …

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Sociopathic Behavior Was Trained Into Me

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Editor's note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader acetiger01. Reverting back to the child self I kiss my boyfriend’s forehead lovingly as I pin him down before he has to go to work today. Lovingly being the way I look at him, touch him, the tone in my voice, as my grip is tight on his arms and my full weight on his chest to ensure that I speak to his subconscious as the dominant (even though he could easily out power me if given the chance). I smile sweetly and look up at him with big innocent brown eyes, a look I was taught from a young age could change someone’s perception of me entirely as I deliver harsh or distasteful information. I advise him to manipulate his c …

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