Like many of us here at Lovefraud, the author of this book thought she met her soul mate. He swept into her life, showered her with attention and affection, and, once she accepted his lavish but far-too-quick marriage proposal, quickly set out to use her, and then destroy her. The cover of this book lists the author as "Noelle R. Andrews," but that's a pseudonym. She wanted to protect her family and her career—she works as a radiologist. The perpetrator isn't identified either—his fake name is Adrian Mammon. This man worked—when he bothered to work—impersonating a famous, now aging, rock star. He treated his gigs as paid opportunities to get drunk and behave obnoxiously. When he wasn't wor …
BOOK REVIEW: The Emotional Life of Your Brain
Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) As many of you who have read my articles and book reviews in the past know, I am fascinated by scientific studies of the brain and how our experiences affect both the anatomy and physiology of our brains. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other life events affect our brains in many ways. In their book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Richard J. Davidson, PhD, with Sharon Begley, reveal more about the power of the human brain. DNA—the building blocks we get from our parents—except in the case of identical twins, is unique for each of us. Our DNA works by turning on or turning off different genes which we have inherited. For example, in peo …
BOOK REVIEW: Kevin Dutton’s “Wisdom of Psychopaths” is a disservice to society
Kevin Dutton, Ph.D., is a fabulous writer. Unfortunately, in his new book, The Wisdom of Psychopaths—What saints, spies, and serial killers can teach us about success, he uses his prodigious skill with words to promote a fundamentally flawed thesis. What is the thesis? That psychopathy, "in small doses," is good for us. Here's what Dutton writes in the preface of the book: Psychopathy can also be good for us, at least in moderation. Like anxiety, depression, and quite a few other psychological disorders, it can at times be adaptive. Psychopaths, as we shall discover, have a variety of attributes—personal magnetism and a genius for disguise being just the starter pack—which, once you know how …
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BOOK REVIEW: The No Asshole Rule
Here at Lovefraud, most of the conversation is about the sociopaths we've encountered in romantic relationships. But sociopaths are equal opportunity exploiters, and are often abusive in some way to almost everyone in their lives. Therefore, we can encounter sociopaths anywhere—especially in the workplace. I recently read a book that's helpful for avoiding, or surviving, abuse on the job: The No Asshole Rule Building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't. The book is written by Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D., a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University. Yes, there is a mild obscenity in the title, and the A-word appears throughout the book. Still, I'd d …
Critiquing “The Wisdom of Psychopaths,” by Kevin Dutton, Ph.D.
Kevin Dutton's “The Wisdom of Psychopaths” is a strange, ultimately disconcerting book. Dutton is erudite and obviously fascinated with his subject—psychopaths. He references some cutting edge research and had access to many heavy hitters in the field of psychopathy experts. Yet in the end, I find his book very troubling. His thesis is basically what the book's subversive title suggests—that psychopaths have qualities of “wisdom.” That is, psychopaths, he asserts, have certain admirable, enviable and distinguishing qualities in greater volumes than non-psychopaths, qualities the non-psychopath could benefit from in greater quantity so long as (unlike psychopaths) the non-psychopath can r …
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Announcing the e-book version of “Love Fraud”
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Two years ago, I published my first book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. I am very excited to announce that Love Fraud is now available in all e-book formats. Whether you read on an Amazon Kindle or an iPhone, Love Fraud is now formatted for your device. With free e-reader software, you can also download the book and read it on your computer. The e-book version is only US$9.99. And of course, there's no shipping cost, making the book much more accessible to our international readers. I've also edited the book to make it about 20 …
Lovefraud Lesson #10: Sociopaths always blame others
When sociopaths have problems in their lives, it's never their own fault. Donna Andersen explains why this is one of the most important Red Flags of Lovefraud. To watch the entire Lovefraud Lessons series, go the the Lovefraud Videos page. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/kL24yoR2H2M] …
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About Stolen Lives
Over the years, hearing many victim stories, I often felt the pain and loss of “stolen lives.” Note that having one's life stolen is not the same process as giving one's life away. There are some who spend 30 or more years in a relationship with a sociopath/psychopath and it is important people understand that there is always coercion involved in the process of making and maintaining these relationships. Consider that the coercive behavior that begins and maintains relationships occurs on a continuum from persuasion, to lying/manipulation to taking someone physically by force. The point is that there was never informed, freely given consent. If the victim had known the truth of what they w …
Never too young to learn about sociopaths
A Lovefraud reader found the recent article about me and my new book, Red Flags of Love Fraud, in a Michigan newspaper. This was a surprise to me, because the article was originally published by a New Jersey newspaper, the Camden Courier Post. It turns out that the story was picked up around the country, which is good—it means word about these disordered individuals is getting out. This particular Lovefraud reader had her own run-in with a sociopath. She is teaching her children about them, which she related to me in a postscript of her email: P.S. My 12-year-old daughter and I were just discussing the article being in the paper she is very aware of sociopaths having been on the r …
Red Flags of Love Fraud featured in Courier Post newspaper
The Camden Courier-Post, located in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just published an article entitled, How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles. Both the online and print versions feature really big photos of my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud. The article also includes tips from the Israeli self-defense system. So, if you miss the signs you're dating a sociopath early on, perhaps it's good to know how to react to physical violence. Read: How to tell if you're dating a sociopath and other tips for singles on CourierPostOnline.com. …
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