By Ox Drover I remember when I first learned to ride a bicycle. Most of us remember the day we first took off the training wheels, because generally, we fell down a few times before we got it right and were pretty safe from falling. It took practice. I can't remember many days before I was about twelve that I didn't have at least one band-aid on at least one knee. Even with the continual road rash I usually had on my knees and elbows, it never even occurred to me to not keep on practicing or to give up on learning to ride the “big kid's bike.” The past couple of months have been rather stressful for me with some deadlines I was facing, some big decisions I had to make, and the usual anx …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: What is dissociation?
A reader asked the following question this week: Recently, I've started doing more research into sociopaths and have run into a condition with which I'm unfamiliar: dissociation. Do you know if sociopaths/psychopaths have been considered to have this disorder, or if it is part of what makes them who they are? The term dissociation has two distinct meanings in psychology. These two uses of the same word do not necessarily reflect a similar process operating in each. The first kind of dissociation is a response to stress, and peritraumatic dissociation (dissociation during a traumatic event) appears to be a risk factor for stress-related illness. Symptoms of this kind of dissociation …
How Sociopaths Think
When reflecting on the sociopath's style, I often find myself thinking metaphorically. For instance, in an early LoveFraud article (Sociopaths' Cat and Mouse Game) I explored the mind of the sociopath via the metaphor of the cat toying with the mouse. In this article, I probe a different metaphor: the small child abusing the captured insect. But a caveat's in order: Just as I wasn't impugning cats as literally sociopathic in my earlier piece, I'm not suggesting here that all children, including bug torturers, are developing sociopaths (anymore than in my last LoveFraud article I was suggesting that all practical jokers are sociopaths). On the other hand, I am suggesting that there ar …
A Valentine to you: Yes, after the sociopath, you can love again
Not long ago, Lovefraud received the following note from a reader: Your articles have given me a lot of peace and the ability to see good in life again, though I'll never go back into the mainstream of society because of the abuse and betrayal I've experienced. It's sad that the vision and understanding one achieves after being victimized by a sociopath prevents you from ever being able to get close to anyone again. I'm working through that though, so I just take it one step at a time. Maybe you could write some more about that? Yes, dear readers, we do need to take recovery one step at a time. But know that we can go back to the mainstream of society. We can recover to the point of a …
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How does ODD relate to sociopathy?
This week a reader asked about a disorder called ODD and its relationship to sociopathy. ODD or oppositional defiant disorder is a childhood disorder. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists: In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning. Symptoms of ODD may include: • Frequent temper tantrums • Excessive arguing with adults • Often questioning rules • Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules • Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people • Blaming …
Tell the experts about your experience with a sociopath
Lovefraud invites you to complete a survey about your experience with a sociopath/psychopath/narcissist in order to help professionals diagnose this disorder properly. Two days ago, the American Psychiatric Association released a draft of the fifth edition its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5). This book is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health and other professionals. The revision has been underway for a decade. A work group of 11 doctors and psychologists focused on the section about personality and personality disorders. They have recommended significant changes to the description of antisocial personality …
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A story. My story. Dancing in the arms of love.
She waited. Patient. Patiently. I'll wait for you forever, she told him. And so she waited. She waited and waited but still he never came. She called. Impatient. Impatiently. She called and she called and still he never answered. She searched. For him. For answers. For hope. And still her hands came up empty. I am your only hope, he'd told her. I am the one you've been waiting for. And so, she waited. In the dark. Through the dawn. Throughout the day. And still, he never came. He'd promised to come. Promised to bring her the keys to their new home. The money he owed. He promised to give back the dreams he'd killed. The trust he'd broken. The hopes he'd dashed. Today, he'd …
Stolen Valor v. First Amendment
The Stolen Valor Act declared war on military phonies. Signed into law in 2006, the federal law made it illegal for any unauthorized person to wear, manufacture, sell, barter or claim any military decoration or medal. Phonies are rampant. An organization called AuthentiSEALS, which worked to expose men who falsely claimed to be members of the elite SEAL teams, estimated that there were 300 impostors for each real SEAL. AuthentiSEALs disbanded in 2005 because its members were exhausted from checking out all the liars. We've certainly seen the phenomenon here at Lovefraud. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, was one of those who falsely claimed to be a Special Forces operative. He also …
Civil commitment of sociopaths
I recently read an interesting discussion of the civil commitment of sex offenders in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law by Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D. and colleagues. I had some thoughts about the article I'd like to share with you. Many states in the United States now have laws that allow for a sexually violent predator (SVP) or a sexually dangerous person (SDP) to be committed to a mental hospital or forced into outpatient supervision once they have completed their prison sentence. In these states, mental health professionals are asked to evaluate potentially dangerous sociopaths and decide whether there is enough risk to society to warrant either inpatient or …
Will Allen Jordan, bigamist and sex offender, on the loose in New Jersey
Lovefraud has just posted a new True Lovefraud Story about Will Allen Jordan, a con man, bigamist and sex offender who, from our information, has returned to New Jersey and is trolling dating sites looking for his next victim. I've heard a lot of stories about sociopaths, and this guy is one of the worst. He has the ability, often found in sociopathic cult leaders, to get into the minds of his victims and twist their thinking. He is frightening. Will Allen Jordan had a criminal record in the United States, where he was born. In 1992, he seduced a British woman and left the country with her, moving to the UK. He was able to start a new life, but he didn't change his ways. In 2000, he …
Will Allen Jordan, bigamist and sex offender, on the loose in New JerseyRead More