How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Families of sociopaths need help when incarceration is over

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Shortly after I met serial killer Rodney Alcala, he invited me over to see his photography. At the time he was living with his parents even though he was 35. Upon entering the home, he introduced me to his mother who was visibly angry with him for inviting me over. Looking back now I can guess this was because he had been convicted twice of violent crimes against young girls. I do not blame the Alcala family for the behavior of Rodney or for not telling me to get away from him. I only bring up this story to highlight the fact that when offenders are released from prison they become a problem for their families. A person getting out of prison has no place to go, no home, no money and no …

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Lovefraud’s comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5

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Editor's note: The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, which is the main reference book used by mental health professionals. Back in February, Lovefraud invited you, our readers, to complete a survey on issues related to the new DSM-5. We will be preparing a full scientific paper on the results of the survey. In the meantime, following is Lovefraud's comment to the DSM-5 committee, which includes the basic survey results. To read the revised definition of antisocial personality disorder in the draft of the DSM-5, click the following link. (The working group has recommended …

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How To Avoid Exploitative Partners

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While there are no sure-proof ways to avoid exploitive partners (short of entering the monastery), we can reduce our risk of getting too deeply involved with them. Why do I say too deeply? Because if getting involved with an exploiter at all isn't bad enough, getting in too deeply is the disaster we hope to avoid. One of the best (and most under-utilized) strategies to protect yourself is to properly“vet” your prospective (or new) partner. What I have to say ahead is especially applicable if you've been burned by a sociopath previously, and even moreso if you suspect in yourself a tendency to enter relationships with bad-news characters. What do I mean by “vetting” your partner? I mean, …

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A Witness to Healing

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Editor's Note: The author of this piece, Travis Vining, told his story to Lovefraud readers back in 2008. He is the son of a psychopath, and wrote about how confusing it was to know that the man was his father, and also a murderer. Travis' previous blog articles are listed under “True Lovefraud Stories.”Travis helped get his father, John Vining, convicted of three murders. The Orlando Sentinel recently published a three-part series of articles about Travis and the murders. You can read the articles here:Part 1 of 3: In ”˜o4, killer's son recalled dad admitted to 2 killingsPart 2 of 3: Plan by killer John Vining's son involves betrayal, lies, audiotapePart 3 of 3: Search for killer John Vining …

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10 Signs that you’re dating a sociopath

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If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath. 1. Charisma and charm. They're smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting. 2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that. 3. Overly attentive. They call, text and e-mail constantly. They want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends. 4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch. 5. Blame …

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New York book club to discuss ‘The Sociopath Next Door’

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The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us, by Martha Stout, Ph.D., will be the topic of discussion at a New York City Barnes & Noble Book Store on April 22, 2010, at 7 p.m. The event is sponsored by the Non-Fiction Reading Club at the Barnes & Noble at 86th and Lexington Avenue. All are welcome. Event announcement provided by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Let’s do something about psychopaths like Rodney Alcala

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Yesterday, I went to the studios of Inside Edition to be interviewed. People want to know what it feels like to have been photographed by a serial killer. How does it feel know that my life could have easily ended in June of 1979 along with the other victims? Inquiring minds also want to know how I feel about Rodney Alcala. Do a search on “stuck by lightning twice” and you will discover that the odds of being struck by lightning once are 1/3000. The odds of being struck twice are 1/9,000,000. Since there are 300,000,000 people in America this unusual event has happened. What does a person who was nearly struck by lightning once, and then actually struck 23 years later say about the nea …

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RESOURCE PERSPECTIVES: When what you give is squandered

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Editor's Note: Resource Perspectives features articles written by members of Lovefraud's Professional Resources Guide. Re-thinking identity as a giver when giving too much can hurt By Fannie LeFlore, MS,LPC,CADC-D Fannie LeFlore profile in the Lovefraud Professional Resources Guide If you've been victimized by someone, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you — often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination. Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, hurried and often competitive and conflict-oriented society can become as easy as brushing one's teeth. T …

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Magnetic pulses can disrupt moral judgment

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Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology were able to disrupt part of the brain that is related to moral judgment by using a magnetic field applied to the scalp of study participants. Normal neural activity in that part of the brain was switched off, resulting in a "no harm, no foul" mentality. Read Scientists able to manipulate morality on The Scotsman. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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The marriage and the monster

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Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader: I was not in a disastrous relationship with my S.  Our relationship was less than three years, our marriage less than two when he openly cheated and decided to leave me, then played games of false reconciliation, which in hindsight were so he could have two sex partners. The short end of my question is ”¦ How do you reconcile the basically happy marriage, the illusion of a man you married with the horrible monster he has become in trying to create turmoil in your life and use your greatest love (your child) to hurt you? Range of behavior One reason why it's so difficult to spot sociopaths is because they are not all the same. Soc …

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