Topman, a chain of men's clothing stores in the United Kingdom, was forced to remove hundreds of sexist t-shirts from its shelves. Read 'You provoked me': Topman forced to remove T-shirts after slogans 'glamorise domestic violence' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Standing Up To The Bully
This week's post was inspired by a heartfelt email I received from a Lovefraud reader who has just successfully achieved the final step in her resolute struggle to break free: “Two years of tears and agony, stress and anxiety. Nevermore!” As we all know, it takes a huge amount of guts and gritty determination first of all to escape and then to heal — and as I sat reading her words I whooped for joy and punched the air. YES!!! Because it means that one more person is free. One more person has shattered the chains that used to bind. One more person has broken out of the shackles of manipulation and madness — and I am pleased. In fact I am delighted. Every time I hear stories — or recei …
After the sociopath, advice for heartbreak
I subscribe to a service through which reporters who are looking for information for their stories can find sources. Not long ago, a reporter posted the following query: A reporter at a national publication is writing about the hell of heartbreak and is looking for people to interview who have experienced a romantic breakup or divorce and who have creative/unusual advice on how to get through the day-to-day emotional turmoil of it. If you've been through a breakup (as an adult), how did you deal with the emotional pain, especially in the very beginning? How did you distract yourself from your heartache? How did you keep yourself from calling or texting your former beloved? What advice would …
When the towers fell, I already knew the feeling
Before sunrise on September 11, 2001, my rowing partner, Mary, and I, were already on the water for our morning workout. As darkness imperceptibly gave way to light, the bay was calm, the air was clear—an absolutely beautiful day dawned. We glided past herons and egrets, enjoying the quiet peace of Nature. A couple of hours later, I was driving to a 10 a.m. meeting when I heard something on the car radio about a small plane crashing into the World Trade Center in New York City. By the time I reached my client's office, all of her co-workers were standing around a radio. Both towers of the World Trade Center were hit, and the announcers were talking about a terrorist attack. “What do you …
Don’t think ‘choices’ and ‘mistakes’ are the same thing
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) How we define words and concepts helps us to see human behavior in a realistic way. When people make bad choices, and do bad things, things they know are wrong, they ARE still CHOICES, not accidents or mistakes, even though the consequences were unforeseen when they are caught and punished. I've frequently heard people refer to what I consider to be deliberate and knowing “choices” as “mistakes.” In the sentence, “he made a mistake and robbed a liquor store,” my inclination is to scream, “NO, he did NOT make a ”˜mistake,' he made a deliberate choice to rob a liquor store.” The mistake was he didn't figure he would get caught, and he was wrong. He got ca …
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‘Bad mothering’ lawsuit dismissed
An Illinois appeals court recently dismissed a lawsuit filed by the two adult children of Steven A. Milner and Kimberly Garrity, who divorced in 1995. Both children, Steven II and Kathryn, lived with their father, an attorney, in a $1.5 million house. They alleged that their mother caused emotional distress by sending dumb birthday cards or failing to send care packages when they were in college. In reporting the story the Chicago Tribune portrayed Steven II and Kathryn—represented by their father and two other attorneys—as spoiled brats. Read: 'Bad mothering' lawsuit dismissed on ChicagoTribune.com. I was all set to think that the case was a frivolous lawsuit driven by Steven Min …
Lessons From The Men I’ve Loved
Thank you very much for all the comments and emails I have received since my last post. I am so glad that I'm able to make a difference, and I'm deeply honoured to be part of this amazing site. This week's writing has been prompted by something in my personal life — I hope you like it. Happy Birthday It's just turned midnight on my son's sixteenth birthday as I sit down to write this week's article. I am so very proud of him, and am constantly amazed at the depth of wisdom, strength and kindness in such a young man. When I look back at the day just two and a half years earlier when I had to sit him down and tell him the truth about the man who had been his step father since just before …
Hurricanes, terror and sociopaths
Once again, I was terrified that my life was going to collapse. Eleven years ago, my fear was caused by my sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery. Because of him, my savings had been wiped out, I was overloaded with credit card debt and my business was decimated. I was fighting him in court, and even when I won, it didn't matter. The court ordered him to pay me, and he ignored the order. I got nothing. I had been well and truly betrayed. I berated myself for my stupidity in believing his grandiose schemes. My relations with family members were strained—they also thought I was stupid. I was 44 years old, and facing the fact that I'd never have the only thing I thought that I wanted in …
Letters to Lovefraud: Attempting to understand what happened
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as Whirlwind71. I have just finished reading Love Fraud just mere moments ago, and up until now, I really hadn't been interested in books at all. Previous to this, I read Mary Jo Buttafuoco, Getting It Through My Thick Skull as well as Snakes in Suits and Pathology of a Psychopath (a hard read) ”¦ all in an attempt to understand what the heck happened to me and my family when a guy (whom I described as the most amazing man I have ever met) came into my life ”¦ I now realize that the word "amazing" has many different levels! Once married to my kids' father, I was now a divorced ”¦ or shall I say a HAPPILY divor …
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Psychopaths in the corner suite
According to research by Dr. Paul Babiak and Dr. Robert Hare, one in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath. Their research will be presented in a BBC Horizon documentary called Are you good or evil?, Wednesday, September 7, at 9 p.m. Read One in 25 business leaders may be a psychopath, study finds, on Guardian.co.uk. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …