Editor's note: The following list was compiled by Carolyn Waterstradt, who holds a masters degree in theology and will graduate with masters degree in social work in April 2012. Carolyn owns Inner Quest Healing, where she works with survivors of clergy sexual abuse. This partial list of grooming techniques was compiled from her research with 18 women who were abused by a member of the clergy. Her book, "Fighting the Good Fight: Healing and Advocacy after Clergy Sexual Assault," is a compilation of this research and will be available in spring 2012. This article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. 10 Grooming Techniques Commonly Used in …
What Does Healing Look Like?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. Healing does not always look like what “I” think it should look. Last week's post was another example. I checked it late in the evening and read many posts that sounded like my post was doing more harm than good to some. Frankly, it made me uncomfortable for a moment and I needed to think about what I was feeling. I'd prefer everyone to say wonderful things about these posts and get well immediately, but that is not how it works. The Truth often makes us uncomfortable, because it means that we have a choice, and can do something about how we are feeling. The …
Chain Reactions
It's been another interesting week for me with a good few ”˜ah-ha' moments sprinkled in along the way. So this week I decided to write about how we are influenced as well as how we influence others and ourselves. First off, I'm wondering how many of you have seen the Skype Laughter Chain on Youtube? The description below it says “Laughter brings us closer together — it's a language we all understand. It's also contagious..” and it was made by filming peoples' reactions as they watched other people laughing. My son introduced it to me at Christmas, and since then I've watched it over and over as I continue to share it with friends. And you know what? Each time I can't help but start …
Another documentary to spread the word about psychopaths
Filmmaker Alexander Davidis has directed commercials for international advertising agencies and documentaries about historic race cars. Then he had an experience with a psychopath, and now wants to help tell the world that these predators live among us. Davidis already started by interviewing some of the world's leading researchers on psychopathy. To complete the project, he's listed it on Kickstarter, which is the world's largest funding platform for creative projects. He wants to raise at least $60,000. Kickstarter is interesting. Anyone can be a backer, pledging as little as $1 on a credit card. In order for the money to be collected, the project must reach its entire goal by the …
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Psychopathic mom pressing for more time with the kids
Lovefraud received the following email from a man whom we'll call “Brad.” He has two children with a woman who was diagnosed as a psychopath. Brad is concerned about the kids spending more time with their mother. After the email, I'll make a few comments. But many of you have personal experience attempting to co-parent with personality disordered individuals, so if you have suggestions, please post them. I have custody of my two children. My son is 12, and my daughter is 10. I'm remarried too. I have had custody since 12/2007. The kids are doing great. There grades are A's and B's. We have a happy home. Ok, now the question. She was diagnosed as a psychopath, by a very professional …
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Bank intentionally hires psychopaths
Last week Lovefraud published an article about the paper written by a British professor who theorized that the global financial crisis was caused by corporate psychopaths. Here's another article on the same topic with an amazing twist: One British investment banker admits that his company actually hired corporate psychopaths on purpose, because "their characteristics exactly suited them to senior corporate finance roles." I wonder if that bank is still in business. Read Brian Basham: Beware corporate psychopaths they are still occupying positions of power, on Independent.co.uk. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!
Editor's note: The following post was submitted by the Lovefraud reader “Adelle.” We often hear the saying, “If the shoe fits wear it.” We all know people are not referring to a shoe. In other words, if the description fits you, own up to it. If someone calls you a fool, and you think you are a fool, then wear that title! If someone calls you a hypocrite and you agree, wear it, you are a hypocrite. But when this phrase is used, it isn't usually given to you as an option. It is usually used as a weapon of accusation. With evil, with intent to hurt. For example, “Are you calling me a liar?” Response: “Well, if the shoe fits wear it.” The person hearing this phrase is usually on …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!Read More
Please Forgive me for the topic! – Compassion for The Sociopath?
Editor's note: The following article refers to spiritual concepts. Please read Lovefraud's statement on Spiritual Recovery. How can this be? Is it right, or possible to have compassion for a sociopath? Why should I consider this topic after all the pain that the sociopath has caused me? For some, the very idea may make you angry. If so, my hope is that you read more”¦ In the beginning, I looked at my father as a spiritual vampire with no soul. A person that lived off of others, consuming their money, emotions, kindness and love, then moving on to another. In my dad's case, he even took their very lives. He deserved to die, I thought. I was OK with the idea of him being …
Please Forgive me for the topic! – Compassion for The Sociopath?Read More
Seeing Things As We Are
Last week found me involved in an unusually high number of conversations about sociopathy. By now I'm no stranger to explaining my own experiences to incredulous people and then patiently answering their questions and putting in to plain words the fact that no, a sociopath will not even begin to know the meaning of the word ”˜sorry' let alone feel it! “But surely Mel, I know if I'd done something even remotely as heartless as the person you've just described... well, I'd be eaten up with guilt! I couldn't sleep at night!” they exclaim, eyes wide open and hands held to their face. “Surely deep down they must know they've done wrong and feel ashamed?” Each time I hear that kind of …
Food for thought: I am fishead movie
It's an ambitious project—attempting to explain psychopaths in global leadership positions, a possible cause of what looks like psychopathic behavior, and what to do about it all. This is the documentary film, I am <fishead(, produced and directed by Misha Votruba and Vaclav Dejcmar. Here's a clip, featuring Dr. Robert Hare, the guru of psychopathy: [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/xiDhVdCjaok rel=0 fs=1 autohide=1 modestbranding=1] Corporate psychopaths Fishead is divided into three parts. Part 1 is about psychopaths, specifically corporate psychopaths, who are blamed for the global financial meltdown that began in 2008. This is probably true, although the only individual …
