Editor's note: The following was posted as a comment by the Lovefraud reader "Zootowngirl." She eloquently expressed ideas that many other readers can certainly understand. I read the articles and comments posted on Lovefraud.com and I see my life, or parts of it, described over and over again. I see things my ex did (or didn't do) written in the words of other people. I see myself in their stories. Often I find myself thinking, “Thank God my experience wasn't that bad or that long,” and other times I nod my head in silent, humiliated understanding that comes with first hand knowledge of the horror stories people share. My ex has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and compassionate and …
When the emotionally abused “behave badly”
Has the emotionally abusive individual in your life ever "encouraged" you to behave badly? Were you "pushed" into an emotional response that placed you in a less than favorable light? Did this response seem to bring satisfaction to your abuser? Did he or she gain sympathy or affirmation from others because of your upset? Were you "baited," into confrontations that ultimately left you very visibly shaken, angry, scared, or feeling out of control? Afterward, were you left confused and wondering what just happened? Worse, yet, were you then accused of being "crazy" or "abusive" by your abuser? Did the events ever cause you to question yourself? If you are or were involved with a psycho …
Co-parenting with a sociopath: An environment of distrust (The Headless Bear)
When I first became exposed to the term "co-parenting", I remember having a visceral reaction. I was sitting in the three hour court mandated co-parenting class, breaking into a sweat, and having what felt like a full on panic attack as the woman leading the class showed slides of "parenting schedules." 'How in hell was I going to co-parent with a man who was capable of such terrible things,' I thought as I tried to get myself under enough control to not look like a crazy woman. At the beginning of the class, the leaders made a point to tell everyone to disregard most of what was being said if you were in a situation with abuse/domestic violence. For some reason, this statement made me …
Co-parenting with a sociopath: An environment of distrust (The Headless Bear)Read More
Keep Shining, Beautiful Ones
This week I saw a quote on Facebook that spoke to me loud and clear “Keep shining, beautiful ones. This world needs your light” — because it immediately made me think of everyone here on Lovefraud. I imagined each and every beautiful person who reads and contributes to the site, and as I did so, my heart warmed and prompted a smile”¦ and moist eyes. Why did I think of this community? Because I truly believe that our experiences ultimately help all of us to shine more brightly as a result. At the same time, I fully appreciate that this notion may still seem to many to be a long way off, or even an impossibility to some people here — perhaps that was what prompted the tears? Well, that toget …
Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?
Last week I heard from a woman who realized that her work supervisor was probably disordered. The Lovefraud reader was hired by a school system to work one-on-one with a special needs child, but what she was directed to do made no sense. When she asked the school district's "professionals" about the "therapy," since, in her experience, it was inappropriate for the child's needs, they seemed uncomfortable and never really answered her. The supervisor, in the meantime, became belligerent. The Lovefraud reader saw that the supervisor was controlling, the professionals were intimidated, and the child was not receiving the right care. The Lovefraud reader was so upset that she took medical …
Do we really just stand by and let these people hurt others?Read More
About Stolen Lives
Over the years, hearing many victim stories, I often felt the pain and loss of “stolen lives.” Note that having one's life stolen is not the same process as giving one's life away. There are some who spend 30 or more years in a relationship with a sociopath/psychopath and it is important people understand that there is always coercion involved in the process of making and maintaining these relationships. Consider that the coercive behavior that begins and maintains relationships occurs on a continuum from persuasion, to lying/manipulation to taking someone physically by force. The point is that there was never informed, freely given consent. If the victim had known the truth of what they w …
Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex
Many, many people who have been romantically involved with sociopaths have told me that the sex was the best they ever had. In my latest video, I explain why. Watch Lovefraud Lesson #6: Sociopaths and sex on the Videos page. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is What Five Months No Contact Looks Like
Editor's Note: This article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Snow White." She previously wrote "He is not Prince Charming, and you are not Snow White." After months of pursuit and ultimate seduction by a psychopath, which eventually lead to an affair with this man, I can now honestly see that I am making my way down the road to recovery. When I first started to open my eyes and began noticing red flags in the psychopath's behavior, coupled with the deep sadness I was experiencing about ending my marriage, I took the first gigantic step of actually listening to MY feelings. Even though the love bombing was so intense and the psychopathic bond well established to the point …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This is What Five Months No Contact Looks LikeRead More
Another novel defense: Gullibility disorder
This story just makes me shake my head. Read: British scientist caught smuggling drugs for 'Miss Bikini World' blames it on his 'gullibility disorder' on DailyMail.co.uk. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
An analysis of what society should do with psychopaths
How did early hunter-gatherer societies deal with psychopaths? And how should we deal with them now? Joe Brewer, author of Cognitive Policy Works, takes a thoughtful look at the problems psychopaths present for society as a whole. Read: How will the 99% deal with 70 million psychopaths? on CognitivePolicyWorks.com. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
An analysis of what society should do with psychopathsRead More