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Archives for October 2012

You are here: Home / 2012 / Archives for October 2012

The sociopath’s “loyalty” deficiency

October 18, 2012 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  202 Comments

(This article is copyrighted (c) 2012 by Steve Becker, LCSW.  The use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience's sake and not to suggest that females aren't capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)  “Loyalty” and “the sociopath” are incompatible terms. We've discussed many traits of the exploitive personality, but let's not minimize a very vital one: deficient loyalty. Clearly,  deficient loyalty is a sociopathic characteristic. A deficiency of loyalty can be disguised very well by clever, self-serving rationalizations. But you will not find the case of a true sociopath about whom you will ever be able to say: he (or she) was really, through and through, truly loyal. L …

The sociopath’s “loyalty” deficiencyRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

Just a dream: the subconscious doesn’t forget

October 18, 2012 //  by Linda Hartoonian Almas//  75 Comments

One night last week, I awoke from a very real dream.  It was not horrible or frightening.  In fact, it was quite ordinary.  It was a very accurate depiction of the everyday exchanges that commonly occurred in what was once my life.  As dreams go, things were slightly out of place and somewhat strange, but I understood. In the dream, it was a crisp October evening.  I was dressed in jeans and a sweater.  He was dressed in navy blue dress pants and a white shirt.  The accoutrements were missing from the shirt, as they often were in reality.  Why we were together, as he came from work, I have no idea. I was younger in the dream, the age I was the day we met, but he was his current age.  We …

Just a dream: the subconscious doesn’t forgetRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Disarray in the DSM-5

October 17, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  157 Comments

The American Psychiatric Association is in the process of updating its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, the DSM-5. This is the "bible" used by psychiatrists and other mental health professionals to diagnosis psychiatric conditions, including antisocial personality disorder. Two members of the committee working on personality disorders have resigned, stating that the proposal displays a "stunning disregard for evidence." Dr. Liane Leedom and I had issues with how the first draft described antisocial personality disorder, which was why we conducted a Lovefraud survey back in 2010. Based on the survey results, we submitted Lovefraud's  comment about sociopaths for the DSM-5. The d …

Disarray in the DSM-5Read More

Category: Scientific research

Society Blames the Victim Instead of the Psychopath – I’m Sick of It!

October 17, 2012 //  by cappuccinoqueen//  77 Comments

I am not sure why I am still shocked when people choose to blame the psychopath's victim.  I have heard that this is normal from others who have suffered from an encounter with psychopath, but I still get a bit shocked each time it happens to me.  From friends, to family, to the courts, to complete strangers — people seem to want to find something wrong with me to somehow better explain to themselves how I ended up being fooled by my psychopath ex.  It has been happening so long that sometimes I find myself wondering there is something wrong with me that made me ignore the red flags and believe the completely fantastic story he was telling me. The Judgements: This week alone, I have exp …

Society Blames the Victim Instead of the Psychopath – I’m Sick of It!Read More

Category: Laws and courts, Seduced by a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

The overdiagnosis of sociopaths

October 16, 2012 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  45 Comments

(The following article is copyrighted © 2012 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience's sake and not to suggest that females aren't capable of the attitudes and behaviors discussed.) Let's be honest. The term “sociopath” has become so commonplace, a very good thing (reflecting the increasingly spacious public awareness of exploiters), that it sometimes seems that pretty much every jerk we confront we're tempted to call a “sociopath.” Now, there's way more “upside” to this than “downside.” And I'd say this applies to terms like “abusive” as well. And thank goodness the concept of “abuse” is now much more widely understood—it's wider public reach, al …

The overdiagnosis of sociopathsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

Taking the first step towards healing the trauma

October 16, 2012 //  by Donna Andersen//  16 Comments

The young woman buried her head into my shoulder and sobbed, right in the middle of the exhibit hall. Last weekend, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I attended a conference for the Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities. We're reaching out to colleges, hoping to bring Love Fraud and How to Avoid It to students. It's such an important message, as the reaction of the young lady proved. At the age of 23, she had already suffered greatly because of a sociopath. She met the guy when she was 17, and later they lived together. The young lady had an opportunity to work at a well-paying job—earning $60,000 a year—except that the guy didn't want her to work. He didn't want her to be in …

Taking the first step towards healing the traumaRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

People with bad behavior in the news

October 13, 2012 //  by Joyce Alexander//  49 Comments

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I recently read this article in the New York Times about Lance Armstrong. Armstrong is a world famous cyclist and well known “do-gooder” with his “Live Strong” website, which purports to tell others how to “Live Well and Live Strong.” Armstrong is a survivor of cancer. Testicular cancer is a “young man's” disease and one that I sought to teach my college-aged patients about when I worked as a director of student health. I also have a close friend who is now a middle-aged man who is also a survivor of testicular cancer. It is a horrible disease. Details of doping scheme paint Armstrong as leader It has been rumored for years that Armstrong was “doping …

People with bad behavior in the newsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Media sociopaths

Sociopathic tendencies or full-blown sociopath?

October 12, 2012 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  156 Comments

(The article below is copyrighted © 2012 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is for convenience's sake and not meant to imply that females aren't capable of exhibiting the attitudes and behaviors discussed.) What does it mean to say that someone has sociopathic tendencies, versus full-blown sociopathy, and does the difference even matter? The simple answer is that someone with sociopathic tendencies will exhibit sociopathic behaviors and attitudes sometimes, while elsewhere he may seem to possess (and, in fact, may possess) a somewhat genuine (if limited and unreliable) capacity and desire to respect others. In contrast, the full-blown sociopath's respect for others, …

Sociopathic tendencies or full-blown sociopath?Read More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Female sociopaths

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Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Why We Don’t Believe in Badness

October 11, 2012 //  by Lovefraud Professional Resources//  76 Comments

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey Throughout graduate school for social work, when the professors were teaching us about how to establish a working therapeutic relationship with a client, they repeatedly drove into us to “have unconditional positive regard for the client.” Implied in that phrase is the stance that we cannot accurately help someone we have prejudged. We learned first and foremost to see the valuable human being behind the behavior, to have compassion, and understand the reasons that brought a person to their present circumstance, even if it is criminal behavior. People in the helping profession are there in the first place because they are hopeful …

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Why We Don’t Believe in BadnessRead More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath

Revisiting prevailing myths about sociopaths

October 10, 2012 //  by Steve Becker, LCSW//  134 Comments

 As I work with partners and other victims of sociopaths, I see regularly the persistence of certain myths about these destructive individuals. These myths can retard the process by which partners fully recognize the sociopath for who he is. They can protect him by supporting his “mask” or, at the very least, supporting the “rationalizations” his partners and victims sometimes use to “cut him the slack” he surely doesn't deserve. For instance, commonly I hear the position, “Well, he's not always like this. He doesn't always act like this.” This supports the notion that sociopaths are continuously flaunting their disorder. But this just isn't the case. To begin with, we know that many soc …

Revisiting prevailing myths about sociopathsRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

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