Archive for October, 2012

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: This year, holidays without the sociopath

Editor’s note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Adelade.”

Holiday seasons are looming on the horizon. For those of us who are in recovery, this time of year can be very depressing, or very liberating. For those who are still embedded in the World of Spath, the holiday season can be more desperate than any other time of the year.

Before escaping sociopathic entanglements, the Holiday Season is a time of withhold/reward, predictable outcomes, and ruined expectations. “Perhaps, this year will be better. Perhaps, he/she will make the changes and save the relationship.” Well, if the spath isn’t engaging in withhold/reward, they’re engaging in situational love bombing. If we are pliable to … Read more

Leaving the Sociopath: Gathering Strength and Losing Fear

By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW

[Masculine pronouns are used for the sake of simplicity. Women, of course, can also be sociopaths.]

You are feeling more desperate and miserable in this relationship with this person who you thought loved you. Over time you have experienced feeling less valuable, as you find your needs no longer seem important to him. Your feelings are not important. In fact, when you try to emotionally connect or bring up a hurt, a need, or a concern about something he did, it only seems to threaten him and make them act like a cornered animal. And, in the end, he acts victimized and you feel like the bad guy. There are many things about … Read more

TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He told me he loved me and would someday marry me

Lovefraud received the following email from a young lady whom we’ll call “Suzette.”

I’m only twenty years old & I feel like my soul has been snatched out of me. I met him in my neighborhood; we’d been acquainted for a year. He contacted me out of the blue about how hurt he was that his girlfriend cheated (Lie#1). We hung out, I was charmed & wooed and he told me he loved me, & would someday marry me because I was the one. He just didn’t know if he could handle jumping into something serious. I settled for taking it slow. He claimed he fell on hard times (Lie#2), couldn’t find a job (actually wasn’t looking) and

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Donna Andersen on the Ricki Lake Show Mon. Oct. 29

Two weeks ago, a producer from the Ricki Lake Show contacted me—they were doing an episode on Love Scams, and invited me to Los Angeles to be on the show.

They were also looking for another guest, and of course, Lovefraud has many people who have been scammed. I suggested several people, and they contacted Heidi Lehman, who lives near the studio.

The show airs Monday, Oct. 29. Four of us talk about our experiences with con artists—one of whom was a murderer. Ricki Lake describes her own experience with a scammer, and then some audience members talk about what they went through.

Predators are everywhere. I am so happy that Ricki Lake wanted to do this show—it’s … Read more

British comedian convicted of harassment

Justin Lee Collins, a British comedian and TV star, has been convicted of harassing his ex-girlfriend, Anna Larke. Media reports paint Collins as exceptionally controlling, and Lovefraud readers will recognize the abusive behavior. He was sentenced to 140 hours of community service. Larke says he should have been jailed.

‘His bullying turned me into an exhausted husk of a woman:’ Ex-girlfriend harassed by TV star Justin Lee Collins warns others about keeping silent on domestic abuse, on

Justin Lee Collins should have been jailed, says ex on

Justin Lee Collins: Trial highlights ‘invisible’ abuse, on

Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.… Read more

News reports say British TV star Jimmy Savile was a sexual predator for decades

Jimmy Savile was one of the most well-know stars of British television. Everyone knew he was eccentric and many people apparently knew he was also a sexual predator who targeted young girls for decades.

Jimmy Savile scandal on

‘If we blabbed on Jimmy, the family would have been left with nothing’: Savile’s abused great niece tells how paedophile DJ bought his relatives’ silence, on

Britain’s Jimmy Savile abuse scandal: how could his crimes have gone unnoticed for so long? on

Links supplied by a Lovefraud reader.

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Posted in: Media sociopaths

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name “DamselflyNOTdistressed.”

OCTOBER 24, 2012 – Today is the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the “nervous breakdown” that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful.

It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an emerging and prolifically talented artist. Though my third time participating in such an exquisite spectacle, it … Read more

Mothers of boys accused of murder

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

Sometimes I have felt like I was totally alone in having a son (child) who was capable of horrible things. Sometimes I have felt like I was alone in turning my son in to police for the crimes he committed. Though the crime I turned my son in for was for theft, I still felt alone in doing so, and was criticized by people, even family members, for doing it.

However, two recent stories have ripped my heart out. I had been following the case of the missing 12 year old New Jersey girl, but the alleged murderers were caught and charged. Their mother turned them in to police. Here is the most … Read more

Local news: murder of a 12-year-old and sex slavery

This morning I was greeted by two horrible local stories on the front page of the Atlantic City Press.

Autumn Pasquale, age 12, disappeared Saturday while riding her BMX bike in the next county. Police have charged two teenage neighbors with luring her with the promise of bike parts and then murdering her.

Police charge teenage boys in slaying of Clayton girl, 12, after getting tip from their mother

The town of Ventnor is only a few blocks away from me the idea that a man was engaging in human trafficking there is just mind-boggling.

Ventnor male prostitution arrest puts focus on human traffickingRead more

Rest In Peace Baby Boy – The Courts Failed Us

On October 21, 2012 at 8:38pm my baby boy was officially pronounced dead.  I sit here typing and I am still in complete shock.  I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to write about, but tonight as I sit here I realize that baby boy needs me to tell his story — our story.  It is a tragic story.  It is a story about a guardian angel and his mama.  It is a story about the day I lost my little angel, my soul, and my reason to keep living.

8:30am Friday October 19th:

Baby boy had been running a fever and the night before his fever had spiked again causing another seizure.  I called the ambulance, … Read more

Posted in: Cappuccino Queen

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