By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW If we have recovered enough from past mass killings and felt safe once more, here we are again. An even more heinous massacre, families and a community destroyed for years, even generations to come. Sweet innocent children shot down in a bloody horror, and the adults who tried to protect them. Families who may never recover fully from the devastation of trauma and loss. Generations in Newtown to come that will resonate with it. A community that will perhaps never experience the magic of Christmas again. The children left who now have gone from a safe secure existence to a reality in which terrifying things are not in a distant fairy tale, they are real in whose …
Mother of a mentally ill son describes what she faces every day
Perhaps, in the aftermath of the terrible tragedy in Connecticut, people will finally start talking seriously about how to cope with the mentally disturbed. Liza Long, mother of 13-year-old boy who sometimes rages out of control, tells her story. 'I am Adam Lanza's mother': A mom's perspective on the mental illness conversation in America, on HuffingtonPost.com. Dr. Liane Leedom recommended this story for Lovefraud readers. …
Mother of a mentally ill son describes what she faces every dayRead More
Answers to questions about sociopaths
I recently heard from yet another Lovefraud reader who realizes that she's been in a relationship with a sociopath. She's in the phase of trying to wrap her brain around about what these people are, and sent me the following email: What happens to these people? These sociopaths? How do they end up in life? Do they just go from victim to victim? Have any of them ever realized the affliction of which they suffer? Do they ever realize they are not capable of love? If they are not capable of love, they will never be happy, right? So...you could present “Red Flags of Love Fraud” to a sociopath and they would not see themselves in it, correct? Do they ever see the error of their ways? The …
Connecticut shooting: It is time for “people control”
President Bush designated the 1990s as the Decade of the Brain: "to enhance public awareness of the benefits to be derived from brain research" through "appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities." Thirteen years after the decade of the brain, the public is now aware that brain function is impaired in mental illness (including psychopathy) and addiction. Research has uncovered the brain regions involved in mental illnesses (including psychopathy) and addiction and the mechanism of action of many helpful medications. [youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/zqqsxoFsFtw] Now this may still be difficult for some people to comprehend but, I say categorically that, "a 20 year old male who …
Connecticut shooting: It is time for “people control”Read More
The high price of destruction
While preparing for the holiday season, my children and I like to play Christmas movies as we add our decorative touches throughout the house. This year, I caught a portion of the television movie Snow as we worked. Although I was not paying close attention, the premise is that Santa goes to California to rescue one of his reindeer that somehow ends up in a local zoo. This particular reindeer, Buddy, was not expected to ever be able to fly. Of course, as the movie's climax began, I stopped arranging the garland and candles on the fireplace and sat to watch. Naturally, I hoped that Buddy the reindeer would triumph. As Christmas movies go, he learned to fly just in time to escape the "b …
Getting the sociopath out of your head
I once heard from a woman whom we'll call "Rochelle." She related her story of reconnecting with a long lost love, which turned out to be a fake love. As it is for many Lovefraud readers, the hardest part of breaking away was getting the sociopath out of her head.When Rochelle was in her 50s, through a high school reunion, she reconnected with the first boy she ever loved. Rochelle had a crush on him when she was 14. They dated for almost five years, although he always seemed to have an eye out for other girls. When they broke up, Rochelle was heartbroken, but she moved on, married, divorced, and life was reasonably good—until that first love came back into her life.He poured on the charm, a …
Psychopathy is a disorder, not an adaptation
According to Merriam Webster online a pet peeve is something that annoys or bothers a person very much. One of my pet peeves is people of all sorts who say that psychopathy is "fascinating" or worse even assert that it is "beneficial". There is nothing fascinating or beneficial about a disorder that is linked to child rape and murder of innocent victims and countless ruined lives. It also bothers me that professionals who talk about psychopathy in this way are sought after by the press. Several months ago a lovefraud reader forwarded me an article I had not seen. Nepotistic patterns of violent psychopathy: evidence for adaptation? Linda and I wrote a comment on this paper and that comment …
Expectations and the half-billion dollar lotto
By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired) I don't normally by lotto tickets because the odds of winning are so powerfully against winning. Yes, I know “someone eventually wins,” and “if you don't buy a ticket you don't have any chance of winning.” When the payout on the recent Powerball got so high though—a half-billion dollars—like lots of folks I decided “why not?” I bought a $3 ticket and let the computer pick the numbers for me. The odds of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 11,000. The odds of being the lotto winner are about 175 million to one. On the way home, my son and I fantasized about what we would do if we won the half-billion dollar payout. We decided we would take it in one …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I guess something good came out of this story
Editor's note: The following essay was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Ms_Snowhite." I want to share with the readers at Lovefraud something that happened to me tonight, when I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall back to sleep. You know, it was one of those moments when you suddenly wake up, your mind is clear of everything and you start thinking. So I was lying on the bed thinking about the spath again and how there would probably never be justice for the things he has done to me, and then, I had started to think about other people that had hurt me a lot by intention in the past too. You know, friends that had betrayed me, co-workers that were …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: I guess something good came out of this storyRead More
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticity
Editor's note: The following article was written by a Lovefraud reader who uses the name "Transcendence." I had not received so much confirmation or documentation of being in a “relationship” before. The biggest problem was that he managed to rarely see me in person and he had a habit of cancelling and sometimes even “FORGETTING” dates. My first intoxicating Romantic Narcissist occurred 4 years ago and I had never experienced a suitor so sexy, seductive, intelligent, well written with poetic prose and boyishly handsome with seeming innocence. I remember waiting desperately for a return txt ”¦ or phone call ”¦ obsessively ”¦ this man could send me to heaven or throw me into the black abyss. …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Whole relationships documented in phones is not proof of authenticityRead More