How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Family Court Theater Presents: The Psychopath as “The Man Who Never Was”

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Since the last round of my “Custody War” with Luc (my ex psychopath), I have thought a lot about the flaws in our legal system.  I run the events of the trials (“battles”) over and over in my head. I still can't understand how such a disordered man like my ex can be allowed to have unsupervised access to a child.  I know it is not healthy to think about it so much, but I can't help it when the thoughts creep into my head.  I keep trying to put my finger on why this process left me so incredibly disturbed. Even after hearing disturbing testimony from several of Luc's previous victims (who graciously agreed to testify against Luc during my Custody War), I couldn't shake this feeling that I w …

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Sometimes, harassment by the sociopath just isn’t important

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By Olga Rodriguez Every time I post on LF; I predictably get a text from the sociopath saying something negative; sure enough after the last posting (Now I can honestly say to a victim, 'I understand how you feel') I got one. I recall having a conversation with the sociopath back when we were still together. I was expressing my love of writing. I said I'd love to write a book sometime. His response was, “Me too.” I asked why and he said, “Just so I can say I wrote a book.” Bragging rights, I guess! I asked, “Would you care if it sold or not? “ He said, “No!” I explained that my reward would be having someone, even if it was just one person, say, “That book changed my life.” Or I'd like …

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Time and recovery from sociopaths

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I can't believe that it is Labor Day. Here in the U.S., it's the holiday that marks the end of summer, and all I can wonder is, where did the summer go? Yesterday, my husband, Terry, complained about a "time leak"—he swears that an hour is now only 40 minutes long. Actually, of course, time keeps moving at the same pace, with the exception of the "leap second" added on June 30, 2012. (This apparently caused software problems all over the Internet.) Yes, time marches on—and we can use this to our advantage in recovering from the sociopath. Involvements with sociopaths cause serious damage to our emotions, psychology, health, finances, social connections—to our very lives.  We can recove …

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Lance Armstrong’s former employee tells tale of vengeance

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Last week, Lance Armstrong gave up his fight against doping charges. For two years, Mike Anderson was Armstrong's personal assistant, during the height of his racing career. Anderson's story, published by Outside magazine, makes you wonder. Read My life with Lance Armstrong, on OutsideOnline.com. Interestingly, Sally Jenkins, a columnist for the Washington Post who co-wrote Lance Armstrong's book (It's Not About the Bike), rode to Armstrong's defense. She wrote, "Lance Armstrong is a good man. There's nothing that I can learn about him short of murder that would alter my opinion on that." Jenkins is also the sportswriter who originally believed Joe Paterno when he said he didn't know …

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Priest says, then regrets saying, children are often seducers

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Rev. Benedict Groeschel of New York says, in an interview, that priests accused of child sex abuse are often seduced by their accusers. He then apologized, and his order, the Franciscan Friars, says the priest is "mentally frail." Read NY priest apologizes for saying child is often seducer in sex abuse cases, on NBCNews.com. And then there's this: Trial to open in notorious archdiocesan abuse case, on Philly.com. …

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What did the sociopath give me and why is it so hard to let it go?

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Editor's Note: The following was posted as a comment by the Lovefraud reader, NewLife43. I thought everyone should see it. I had a small epiphany today while driving back from the grocery store. What, exactly, did the spath give me that I find so difficult to let go? I have been married twice before and when those marriages were over, I was sad and wished that they hadn't ended the way that they had. But neither one of them was like this 8 year relationship! I was still the same person, what was so different this time? Why couldn't I release it and move on with my life? Neither one of my ex-husbands were like the spath. In fact, NO ONE had ever made me  feel like he did. And by that I …

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Beware of the “Psychopath Drama Fueler”

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Psychopaths are good at draining our finances and leaving us emotionally wrecked. Since I am still going through my custody battle (and likely will for a long time), I constantly think about ways I can make this experience less painful. Dealing with the aftermath of having a child with someone who has a personality disorder is traumatic. If I have learned one lesson this past year its how important it is to find peace in this sea of chaos. Even after instituting as much "no contact" as is possible my child's psychopathic parent, I have come to realize that there are people who like to fuel the drama of a psychopath for either entertainment or financial reasons. These people don't …

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My Brown Eyed Girl – Life DOES continue after the sociopath

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Greetings to all my friends here on Lovefraud. I have been silent for a couple of weeks because I've been dealing with a few personal things I would now like to share with you. I already posted the story on my own blog and, after chatting with Donna (who is always so kind and supportive) I've realised that while my story is not about the usual sociopath or survivor message, it may possibly be of value. So here it is - with a few added words just for everyone here. I hope you like it... It felt so deliciously peaceful just floating there in the nothingness. The noisy mind-chatter all but disappeared, I was happily allowing myself to drift off to sleep, enjoying the half-way-ness of being …

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A chilling short film portraying sociopathic domestic violence

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I did not experience violence at the hands of my sociopathic husband, and for that I am eternally grateful. But 36 percent of the people who completed the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey said they were physically abused, and 34 percent said their lives were threatened. A short film by Sharon Wright, called Tell Me That You Love Me, provides a chillingly accurate depiction of violence in an intimate relationship. It's chilling and accurate because she experienced it. Sharon explains why she made the film in a separate YouTube video. I cannot add anything to her words, except to thank her for making the film. It captures, in a little over five minutes, the horror of domestic violence, …

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Sociopaths victimize using human institutions like the courts

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This summer I read a fabulous book, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life by Evan Stark. It is a well written academic discussion of the topic of coercive control that also provides a history of domestic violence awareness in America. Although I highly recommend the book to anyone who advocates for victims, I do not agree with the premise that coercive control is about female victimization. I have known too may male victims to believe that this is a male —female issue. The challenge then is to come up with a theory about intimate partner victimization that accounts for, rather than rejects the very cogent arguments put forward by clinician-researchers like Dr. Stark. A …

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